the smell of my desperation has become a stench


I saw a giraffe in its natural habitat and somehow survived the resulting heart attack to tell about it. Would you look at that thing (not the things on that thing, which I just now noticed HOLY SHIT where is the modesty patch when you need it). He was one of several I managed to see last week in Tanzania, just minding his own business. Being a giraffe. Like, ‘sup, dude?

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Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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