the smell of my desperation has become a stench

Recent Posts

INTRODUCING: Bergdorf Good Dog a Ling a Ding Dong

I did not ask Kelly for permission to write this publicly, and, here we go already: I don’t give a fuck. She can deal with it. This ain’t nothin’ to Kelly. I mean, she’s watched me eat fried crickets. And they were delicious! It was…

March 30, 2020

My COVID-19 Experience (with video)

The first thing I’m going to say is that what I am going to describe to you today has nothing to do with any of the news I talked about or teased yesterday while talking to those of you who joined me for Quarantine Book…

March 19, 2020

“This goes beyond me, beyond you”

Hi. Hello. Let’s begin with: I am one of very few people you probably know who at my age have not lost someone very close to me. I have never lost a friend or a relative unexpectedly. I have been spared that trauma for 44…

February 24, 2020

A Winged Victory for the Sullen

I have to remind everyone before I say anything about THIS THING THAT IS HAPPENING TO ME ALL CAPS that I left the LDS Church and all religion period because a linguistics professor at BYU made me deconstruct an essay about Ebonics. If you don’t…

February 20, 2020

“He. Is. Married. Still. And it’s not to you.” Valentine’s Edition!

Now, who would publish a Valentine’s Gift Guide not only this close to (squints eyes very narrowly, ten minutes shy of it?) Valentine’s Day but also with: PARENTS CAN WE PLEASE NOT RAISE ANOTHER BRETT KAVANAUGH. That would be me. Hi, have you met me?…

February 13, 2020

I Wish You Could Have Held on for Another Day, Part Two of Two

I thought I was going to be able to write the rest of this story the way I wanted to, the way I had intended and Coco would have wanted. Although, now? I don’t know. Things have suddenly changed in the most profoundly sad and…

January 15, 2020

I Wish You Could Have Held on for Another Day, Part One of Two

On January 10, 2018 I walked back into a concert venue from the lobby where I was waiting for a ride. The concert was not over, but my friend wanted to leave. I walked back in because I needed to give him something, I just…

January 13, 2020