the smell of my desperation has become a stench

Recent Posts

“This goes beyond me, beyond you”

Hi. Hello. Let’s begin with: I am one of very few people you probably know who at my age have not lost someone very close to me. I have never lost a friend or a relative unexpectedly. I have been spared that trauma for 44…

February 24, 2020

A Winged Victory for the Sullen

I have to remind everyone before I say anything about THIS THING THAT IS HAPPENING TO ME ALL CAPS that I left the LDS Church and all religion period because a linguistics professor at BYU made me deconstruct an essay about Ebonics. If you don’t…

February 20, 2020

“He. Is. Married. Still. And it’s not to you.” Valentine’s Edition!

Now, who would publish a Valentine’s Gift Guide not only this close to (squints eyes very narrowly, ten minutes shy of it?) Valentine’s Day but also with: PARENTS CAN WE PLEASE NOT RAISE ANOTHER BRETT KAVANAUGH. That would be me. Hi, have you met me?…

February 13, 2020

I Wish You Could Have Held on for Another Day, Part Two of Two

I thought I was going to be able to write the rest of this story the way I wanted to, the way I had intended and Coco would have wanted. Although, now? I don’t know. Things have suddenly changed in the most profoundly sad and…

January 15, 2020

I Wish You Could Have Held on for Another Day, Part One of Two

On January 10, 2018 I walked back into a concert venue from the lobby where I was waiting for a ride. The concert was not over, but my friend wanted to leave. I walked back in because I needed to give him something, I just…

January 13, 2020

You need ideas for gifts? I might have a few hundred.

I have not attempted a gift guide since Marlo pronounced “breakfast” as “bref-disk” and ever since someone corrected her my heart has been trying to reassemble itself. Maybe that’s contributing to my gut issues, although I think my gut issues have a lot more to…

November 29, 2019

Family portraits 2019

A couple of weekends ago we all got dressed up, relatively speaking, to have Cat Palmer take our family portraits. First, I say “relatively” speaking because Marlo refuses to wear dresses anymore unless it’s for a sacred occasion. Like Halloween: View this post on Instagram…

November 4, 2019

For the sake of her health and mine

While LightStream has compensated me for this post, it reflects my personal thoughts and opinions. …… The cohost of my podcast and I just finished recording an episode, and the only mention I made about my ongoing mysterious illnesses was at the end when I…

October 24, 2019