the smell of my desperation has become a stench

Recent Posts


Mu-ziq: Royal Astronomy

September 17, 2001

How to Annoy Me

Steer your shopping cart through Costco like a maniac. We’re all in this together.

Kicking, Squealing Gucci Little Piggy

Saturday morning at the end of a 40 minute stair-running workout in Santa Monica, I almost participated in my first live girl-on-girl cat fight. I had run 12 sets of 150 stairs, most of them taken two at a time, and the stench of wet…

September 10, 2001


Grant Lee Phillips: Mobilize

How to Charm Me

Point at your 3 year old cousin’s penis and say, “Daddy has a little one just like that.”

How to Annoy Me

Get together with your band of birds and poop all over the hood of my car.

Hungry Like The Wolf

Yesterday I had a half a package of Oreos with chocolate creme filling. Something snapped at around 2 o’clock, and every ounce of self control I’d developed since I started running stairs eight months ago evaporated with one crispy, creamy nibble. What the diet and…

August 31, 2001


Happiness is clean sheets.


Bauer: Can’t Stop Singing



How to Charm Me

Immitate a dog eating Crunchy Corn Bran.