Heater, Mother of Lance

Recent Posts


The Big Takeover

August 8, 2001



How to Annoy Me

Crank up the air conditioner in the office so high that every woman’s chest is its own PowerPoint presentation.

Chicago On My Mind and in My Hair

Residents of Chicago are fiercely proud of their winters. Not unlike survivors of natural disasters or chicken pox, these people are united in a common triumph over the most terrible of conflicts. Apparently, winters in the midwest “suck ass” or “fucking bite” or “let’s just…

August 7, 2001


The White Stripes: White Blood Cells


The Brothers, by Frederick Barthelme

How to Charm Me

Wear that great smelling deodorant, I could put my face in your armpit all day.

How to Annoy Me

Call me while I’m sleeping, and after I tell you that I’m sleeping, continue to jabber like a fucking monkey.


My Honda of Hollywood Service Team really loves me. All they want to do is serve me better. Does your service team love you?

July 27, 2001


Saint Etienne: Fox Base Alpha

July 17, 2001


Shan’s Dissection of MTV’s Real World