Heater, Mother of Lance

Recent Posts

How to Annoy Me

Wear white half-socks with black shoes.

June 7, 2001

Thinking

I have reason to believe that Martha Stewart is stalking me.

June 5, 2001

How to Charm Me

Scratch my back. It itches.

June 4, 2001

Thinking

One banana, good. Two bananas, not good. What’s a wonderwall anyway?

Listening

Portastatic: Looking for Leonard

Reading

The back of the Wheaties box.

Enjoying

Wideopenspaces

How to Annoy Me

You’re cute but then you opened your mouth to speak.

How to Charm Me

Hug me without the gratuitous back patting.

June 1, 2001

Listening

Third Eye Foundation: I Poopoo on Your Juju

Reading

Paul Rand

How to Annoy Me

Invite me to a party where all the men are gay.