the smell of my desperation has become a stench

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the smell of my desperation has become a stench

Daily Photo

I promise I’m smiling behind the camera, maybe

Alas, yet another Ceramic Abomination, this time: Baby Jesus!

Methinks someone had too much cornbread stuffing and passed out

Behold The Festive Ceramic Pig, Gatekeeper at the Doors of Hell

The Kids

Happy Thanksgiving, may you all be well

Under the moon shone a bottle of laxatives

1961

I’ll get this whole thing into my mouth so help me God

Perspective of the lonely abandoned toy

I should have put the camera down to help her up, but, um, I didn’t

Moments before I swallowed her cheeks whole

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One night last week the Spotify algorithm served u

One night last week the Spotify algorithm served up a song I’d never heard during my 1AM insomnia bath — stick with me. I promise. It gets so much worse from here.

CUTE DETAIL AHOY: Insomnia is one of the most common symptoms of peri menopause. Last week I didn’t sleep a wink three out of six nights. It’s horrifying, and this leads me to The Fuck Buttons.

Is this where I’m going? I’ve been known to!

I paused Spotify — OH! Brain fog is another fun thing about La Sorcière Périménopause. I didn’t add the song to my library.

Normally you’d listen to that song while high on enough cocaine to kill Jabba the Hutt, but I fell asleep in four seconds. An hour later I woke up and couldn’t find it on the mobile app.

YES, WRAPPING IT UP, FUNYUN: Took me an hour to find it on my desktop app. Couldn’t fall back asleep so I wrote an electronic opera in my head with that song playing in my ears.

An hour after that I texted @blurb and asked him for keyboard recommendations. One, for my my late night insomniac, menopausal voyages. Two, a certain someone regularly beatboxes with their head and mouth without knowing they are doing it.

Hooked up the keyboard a day ago. They walked up to it and this is what they did.

My instinct was right. Thank you, Jon and Mom, for helping me make this happen.

Also, the smile at the end is going to kill you so have enough money in the bank to pay for your funeral.

🎹🎶🥁

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