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the smell of my desperation has become a stench
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the smell of my desperation has become a stench

Family

I have a family here on Earth, they are so good to me

Who’s ready for more drunk blogging? ARE YOU READY? YEAH? YEAH!

The point at which all phone conversations resemble a drop in cell phone coverage

Another dispatch from the Chronicles of Aunt Lola

Millions of women across America have seen MILLIONS of years erased, MILLIONS, MILLIONS!

Mancunian Candidate

File under: Not for kids, a continuing series in which my family realizes JUST HOW FAR GONE SHE IS

I cannot wait to tell my therapist

I don’t need to hear you say that if we weren’t so alike you’d like me a whole lot more

Waiting for someone to sing me his song

Family first

A Day in the Life of BYU College Student George Boone

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    One night last week the Spotify algorithm served u One night last week the Spotify algorithm served up a song I’d never heard during my 1AM insomnia bath — stick with me. I promise. It gets so much worse from here.

CUTE DETAIL AHOY: Insomnia is one of the most common symptoms of peri menopause. Last week I didn’t sleep a wink three out of six nights. It’s horrifying, and this leads me to The Fuck Buttons.

Is this where I’m going? I’ve been known to!

I paused Spotify — OH! Brain fog is another fun thing about La Sorcière Périménopause. I didn’t add the song to my library. 

Normally you’d listen to that song while high on enough cocaine to kill Jabba the Hutt, but I fell asleep in four seconds. An hour later I woke up and couldn’t find it on the mobile app.

YES, WRAPPING IT UP, FUNYUN: Took me an hour to find it on my desktop app. Couldn’t fall back asleep so I wrote an electronic opera in my head with that song playing in my ears.

An hour after that I texted @blurb and asked him for keyboard recommendations. One, for my my late night insomniac, menopausal voyages. Two, a certain someone regularly beatboxes with their head and mouth without knowing they are doing it.

Hooked up the keyboard a day ago. They walked up to it and this is what they did.

My instinct was right. Thank you, Jon and Mom, for helping me make this happen.

Also, the smile at the end is going to kill you so have enough money in the bank to pay for your funeral.

🎹🎶🥁

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