An unfiltered fire hose of flaming condemnation

Holiday for Her, 2014

Right now this whole thing should just be a screen filled with the words “a momentary reprieve from my relentless five-year-old” and a picture of a floor where I can just lie down for a bit. Forget the terrible twos. No. Even the threes don’t compare, not with this one. I have had to explore the vast depth of my patience, and there are terrifying creatures down there that don’t even have eyes. Looking at these pretty, playful things is a welcome diversion.

1. Kardiel Swan Chair with Caramel Aniline Leather $549

2. Glass Carafe $14.95

3. Floral Gardening Gloves $19

4. Fujifilm Instax Mini Instant Film Camera $75.85

5. Fujifilm Instax Mini Instant Film $40.99

6. Tevin Jacquard Mini Dress $395

7. Gold Windrose Cuff $195

8. Woolrich Felt Mill Scuff Slippers $35.45

9. Grown Alchemist Hand Cream: Vanilla & Orange Peel $24

10. Marc by Marc Jacobs Domo Arigato Mini Packrat Backpack $178

11. Hairfinity Healthy Hair Vitamins $149.99

12. Sparkle Drop Earrings $100

13. How to Succeed in Business Without Really Crying by Carol Lefier $12.62

14. Science…For Her! by Megan Amram $15.81

15. Yes, Please by Amy Poehler $17.93

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Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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