tweets

– Gritty New Cityscapes by Jeremy Mann

– Things I would wish upon my enemies

– Why do we eat, and why do we gain weight:

In one study, two groups of people were assigned to eat the same number of calories each day during a twelve-week period. One group received more of them during breakfast, and the other had more during dinner. The breakfast group lost significantly more weight.

– Dear World: Boston Marathon, survivors + responders return to the finish line

– Freaking people out with Siri

– Photos from my middle school yearbook

– Jimmy Fallon & Anne Hathaway sing broadway versions of Snoop Dogg, 50 Cent, and Kendrick Lamar

– Related: 50 Cent dubbed over Jehovah’s Witnesses trying to get deaf people to stop masturbating

– The Simpsons Letterman Couch Gag

– This is the kind of herding dog you should look into.

– Welcome to the future: Doctors implant lab-grown vagina

– My dogs are so lucky to have me.

– All 1,400,000 views of this video were by me: Game of Goats

– A Breakup Letter to Facebook from Eat24:

Your algorithm is saying most of our friends don’t care about sushi porn, that they aren’t interested in hearing our deepest thoughts about pizza toppings. Are you listening to yourself? Do you know how ridiculous that sounds? You know that all those people clicked ‘Like’ on our page because it’s full of provocatively posed burritos and cheese puns, right?

– A short stop-motion study on wood.

– What would the back side of the album cover look like?

A few of my favorite recent tweets:

Morrissey, arms folded, not clapping along to that Pharrell song.

— Tim Siedell (@badbanana) April 8, 2014

I can't be the only person who thought George Washington Carver was a very specific sculptor

— jaaaay! (@JayUhOh) February 8, 2014

Testicles are like Everlasting Gobstoppers for dogs.

— Mike Primavera (@primawesome) April 8, 2014

Gary Busey calling his toaster a "goddamn wizard" and demanding to know where the bread went when he pushed the lever.

— Bucky Isotope (@BuckyIsotope) April 10, 2014

Tape a terrible drawing of a refrigerator onto your child.

— Chris Worthington (@SomeChrisTweets) August 9, 2013

No thanks, I'll just have the regular old whore olive oil

— Gander™ (@GFGander) March 10, 2013

If you die while wearing a jean jacket you deserved it.

— zach (@zacharyflynn) April 2, 2014

*holding raccoon "This cat is mean!"

— Snorklhuahua (@weinerdog4life) April 5, 2014

A protester in Las Vegas threw a shoe at Hillary Clinton. Unfortunately it was a TOMS shoe, so some kid overseas just got hit with one too.

— Jamie Woodham (@jwoodham) April 11, 2014

Sitting in my car waiting for the meter to run out so I can drive away. They should change that law. I'm so late. I hate this.

— Levi MacDougall (@levimacdougall) April 2, 2014