Please be patient with me
Another busy week here at the Blurbodoocery involving doctors appointments, travel, vet visits, and a multitude of concerts. Tonight we’re attending the sold out Wilco concert where Fleet Foxes will be opening, and it’s at my favorite outdoor venue in the city. If you’re not familiar with either band, here’s an introduction to Fleet Foxes:
“White Winter Hymnal”
And here’s Jeff Tweedy from Wilco playing an acoustic version of the soundtrack to my marriage to Jon:
This weekend we’re headed to San Francisco to Outside Lands Festival, a three-day music event at Golden Gate Park. While I’m there I’ll be posting photos and whatnot here and there. Friday night I will get to see Radiohead for the tenth time, and maybe I will finally get the nerve to throw my panties at guitarist Ed O’Brien who happens to be number two on my Five Fame Fuckers list.
Let me just take a moment to explain this list for those of you who don’t already have one: if you’re in a committed relationship, you’re allowed to compile a list of five people you’d like to sleep with. The people on the list not only have to be celebrities, they also have to be celebrities you don’t know or wouldn’t ever happen to bump into, even in the most remote social situation. To make things fair, the person you’re in the committed relationship with gets to compile his/her own list.
Interestingly, recent international events have brought to my attention a certain special someone who has so stolen my heart that he has knocked off two of the previous men on my list and now occupies both of those positions. So my list now looks like this:
1. Chris Martin
2. Ed O’Brien
3. Brad Pitt
4. Michael Phelps
5. Michael Phelps
I brought up this development the other night with a group of friends, and the men in the group were all, “But his ears! And that underbite!” Which of course was exactly how I expected them to respond because all of their lists are comprised entirely of supermodels.
I think his ears are adorable, and I am in love with his mouth, but my list really has very little to do with appearance and everything to do with the overall package. Are they driven? Do they care about people? What is their take on certain issues? Do they know their multiplication tables? Also, good hair helps. And yes, I will be honest and say that the way Michael Phelps fits into a wetsuit is very pleasing to look upon with my eyes.
Don’t worry, Jon has his own list. And if we were at a concert where Renee Russo was playing the guitar, I would take off Jon’s briefs and throw them at her head for him. That was written into our vows.
EDITED TO ADD: My best friend during elementary school was a fresh-faced freckled blonde named Christy Martin. Her father Fred had played professional football for the NY Jets before joining the United States Marines, and the family relocated to Okinawa, Japan when I was ten years old. That happened to be the same year my parents got divorced and her absence nearly destroyed me.
ALSO EDITED TO ADD: I had to remove Chris Martin from my list because he is a friend of a friend, and I could potentially bump into him in real life. This means that Ed O’Brien now occupies the top spot followed by Brad Pitt. Michael Phelps fell off of the list entirely, and slots three, four, and five are now occupied by Ryan Gosling.