• http://vividblurry.com Toby

    My God. I’m high and totally digging your new layout. Oh man. It’s like grandma’s house!

  • ~Britt~

    Did you ever see Sixteen Candles w. Molly Ringwald?
    The above artwork, I keep thinking of that line when the older sister is whacked out on valium b/c she got her period on her wedding day, and she’s walking down the aisle and almost collapses on this old lady and she says “love the tea pot”

  • http://footinmouthdisease.blogspot.com Naaman

    I swear, each time my wife drags me into Ross, I want to put a paper bag over my head and grab my wooby.

  • allisonic

    What about chenille?

  • http://convivial.blogspot.com Heather #2

    Dude. Britney is totally going to crawl out of the computer and lick my face.

    Dooce, were you coming onto me with the whole adorable toes thing? ‘Cause, like, that’d be ok.

  • Thomas

    Hey, Broch. Here’s a big “Up yours!” from everyone in Memphis.

  • http://www.jeanettecline.com Jeanette

    Wow. You have a lot of issues! LOL! Good thing you have this site to work them all out in front of the world! :0)

  • http://www.swirlspice.com Irk

    From my list:
    -walking on not-carpeted surfaces in bare feet
    -walking on carpeted surfaces in bare feet and encountering clipped nails

  • http://shyeyes.org shy

    i’m terrfied of websites constructed in frontpage… and people who take ‘married by america’ seriously.

  • http://kiwi-kath.diaryland.com kath

    A grown man typing “wooby”.
    Wood spiders, which you can’t kill without smashing them because they can live underwater, but they’d prefer to live with you.
    Beer bellies not quite covered by tight buttoned shirts.
    I don’t see what could possibly be necessary about flying cockroaches– Every summer they stalk me and attack me when I least expect it. Once I was driving my dh’s old pickup with very balky transmission, so I was trying to get through a crowded street without stalling, and one of those damn things flew in the window and attacked me. I almost took out a storefront..This was totally unnecessary.
    Your graphics look just like the house where my father-in-law grew up, which he had to sell after his older brother died and left all his worldly belongings, which consisted of 4 million cassette tapes, in boxes all over the living room and dining room floor of the place.

  • Sheila

    Funtime Ben: that stuff is farina. Quite harmless.

    I get freaked, at night, looking out windows into the darkness beyond…. don’t know what’s out there….until it moves closer and it’s beady (sometimes glowing) eyes are staring right at you!!

    Similarly, the scene in Twilight Zone when William Shatner sees the gremlin outside his window. :/

  • http://www.brochspot.com/blog Broch

    Thomas, didn’t mean to offend. I actually love the hell out of Memphis man, and I used to live in the big “D.”

  • http://omnivore.com omnician

    I think you’re more prone to being scared shitless when you’re shaken from the midst of one of life’s pet pleasures. When I was a kid, I pulled a fresh load of clothes out of the drier. Mmmm…want to rub them on my cheek. But, suddenly, a quite heated-up roach scampers from the folds of the clothes and proceeds to circumnavigate my head and neck. I’ve never been the same.

    Also, growing up in New Orleans I became accustomed to flying roaches and could cope as long as I knew they had an aversion to light. Along came an uber strain (kind of like the African Killer Bees) that were attracted to light! Monstrous…

    Sorry for the long post, but it took me ages to read through the entire archive. Now I feel like I’ve earned the right to make my first post. tip of the hat to you, Dooce.

  • aria

    aww, now i like ross. i go there to buy big ass sweaters so i can unravel them and then get pretty yarn for cheeeaaaap. and i buy high quality b-day presents there, too. cheeeaaaap.

    cockroaches. and sometimes i get scared of people for no apparent reason.

  • Michele

    Me: blimps, ants, throwing up, old men with long fingernails, denture breath, dracula hair styles and tornados. Sorry Heather,I work in a medical office so I have to apologize for my drawer of gigantic white undies!

  • burnik

    mj scares me out

  • http://minn.livejournal.com Minnie

    - Butterflies
    - Camels
    - Monkeys and geese.

  • http://www.idiofunctional.blogspot.com Don

    Our government’s rhetoric.

  • Igor

    Pamela Anderson’s breasts are hardly the stuff of nightmares :-) I’d like to take a closer look, actually ;-) .
    I don’t scare shitless easily but I definitely don’t enjoy being in a situation where I am powerless to act, either through lack of resources, strength, intelligence, by sheer physics or just because there is nothing anyone can do at all. Having said that, flying roaches seem suitably disgusting. Don’t these critters have natural enemies ? Isn’t fondling Pamela Anderson’s mammary glands an unadulterated joy by comparison ? And by the way, isn’t this page a work of art, a thing of beauty ? It’s so homely.

    Who agrees with me that Dooce ought to procreate and put a clubhouse of little Dooces on the planet ? There aren’t nearly enough of her. And she has a big, hairy, cuddly teddybear of a man to do that very thing with to boot.