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When I say Jesus, you say Jesus, say Jesus. JESUS!

2004/10/27

I just had an acid flashback to Vacation Bible School. Forgive me, Jesus.

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  • Sven

    This is where you get those stickers: http://www.cafepress.com/landoverbaptist/52680

  • Sven

    Ooops, sorry – I should have checked first…

  • Sven

    And did you know that GWB´s site is blocked for visitors outside the US (while Kerry´s is not)?

  • Karen Rani

    OMG I just read TLC’s, A Baby Chuck Story and I am in tears! I know that sounds corny but I’m going through PPD and on drugs and they’ve worn off for the day. We have a black lab and I fondly remember her baby days….the little yips of Baby Ruffy….sigh…

    Anyway – all this puking….is THAT why he is named Chuck? Sorry, just asking. Love ya!

  • http://www.twosittingducks.com Hannah

    Disturbing bumper sticker. Very, very disturbing.

    Btw, I don’t think that’s cheesy (woman at dog shelter) – I think she’s right!!

    Also, I hate giving unsolicited advice but I saw my specialist this morning about numerous things and one thing came up that I thought you might like to know: apparently kiwi fruit is very good at helping “keep ‘the system’ moving”. In other words, kiwi fruit helps you poop.

  • Carmalyn

    Chuckles!!!!!!!!!!! I know who I’m voting for in the 2004 elections: Senator Chuckles!!!! For president!!!! We will finally have world peace and all the potato chips and cheese we want!!!!!!!!! Viva la Chuckles!!!!

  • Kimberley

    HEY HEATHER
    what about the story of your wedding dress?? Hmm?

  • alicia

    i have a button on one of my bags that says “jesus is coming, look busy.”

    it’s my favourite.

  • http://www.edgeofbone.com/wedding Amanda B.
  • http://www.lindseyandray.com/blog.html Lindsey

    Whooo Hoooo We Won! :) Sox Rule!

  • http://www.xanga.com/heathabee heathabee

    I had a cat with 4 white paws and his name was Boots. :) So I definitely didn’t want to puke when I read that ;-)

    Heather, do you read all of these comments? How is it possible for you to not respond to all the … shall i say ‘out there’… comments? (at the risk of getting my head bit off)

    :) love the baby chuck photos

  • Autumn

    I LOVE his adoption story…it’s so sweet!

  • sivvy

    I wanna a puppy.

  • http://ximena.blog-city.com Super Turtle Girl

    I’d just like to point out that the Red Sox didn’t win until the year I was born. It might be a coincidence but I don’t think so.

  • http://manababies.blogspot.com superMANA

    *GASP* I want a dog now, in addition to a Nikon D70.

  • Laurie

    I actually have a t-shirt that I stole from an ex-boyfriend that says: Who Wants Jack Daniels? (which I find amusing, but I understand it’s not everyone’s cup of tea)

    My favorite Jesus story is from when I was teaching in Cincinnati. One of my students came in with a broken foot, and I asked him “Omar? What happened to your foot?” Well apparently during easter mass, he was standing next to a 4 ft tall Jesus statue, that for no reason tipped over and fell on his foot breaking it in 3 places. Needless to say, I had no problems with him for the rest of the school year. :)

    Go Sox! I can actually get some sleep now. :)

  • Carla Beth

    I’m a Christian. Jesus is my rock, but then there’s Buddha, Mother Theresa, Ghandi and Brad Pitt’s butt. What keeps me going.

    And I voted for Kerry. I’m a liberal.

    Christianity took me by surprise. It’s weird. I’m not in the fire and brimstone camp. I’ve just found this guy who reminds me of Khahil Gibran and others who’ve inspired me over the years. But with structure and clear guidance.

    Sometimes I feel so broken down I can’t stand it. This gives me hope. Six years ago I attempted suicide. Lesson learned: We all need something.

    The bumper sticker? Whatever.

  • http://newage.htmlplanet.com Aimee

    Martha – did you take the time to study your own Christian bible then? And find the “errors” in that.

    Logically, God cannot be all good, all powerful, and all knowing at the same time or he wouldn’t let famine and disease exist. You can’t be the powerful and all good and not do something to stop it. ;)

  • zchamu

    OK, this is totally out of line, and I am totally commenting on non-daily photo events in the daily photo comments, and I apologize in advance. But I totally have to say, that your Chuck adoption story made me cry. Totally cry, with like tears running down my cheeks. You and Chuck were, like, PREORDAINED. You made my day. Thank you.

  • zchamu

    And apologies for the, like, totally teenage vibe in that last post. I’m a little drunk. Forgive me.

  • http://www.digitalcatharsis.com The Mighty Jimbo

    bombs + jesus + volkswagens + dooce = the most wonderfully fucked up string of comments ever. or a really cool music video. whatever.

    and i thought i had nothing better to do with my day…

  • http://www.chubbypixel.com/mando/index.php Amanda

    Atleast the playto fun factory log was on the changing table…My cat came ripping through the bedroom last night because something was chasing her…it was a tird that was attatched to a piece of floss that was attatched to her ass because she’s a pig and eats anything that’s on the floor even floss and even if she can’t digest it properly and makes big scary tirds to chase her. Her name is Focker but it should be Focking retarted.

  • http://saladwhore.diaryland.com Saladwhore

    The Chuck story rocks. And baby Chuck? OMG. Now I want to eat your baby AND YOUR DOG!!! And I am 75% vegetarian, so that is quite something.

  • Josie

    My favorite Jesus bumpersticker:

    Jesus Loves You! Everyone else thinks you’re an asshole.

  • http://www.dominocat.co.uk/panic domino

    *PUPPPEEEEEEEE*

    Every time I see pictures of Chuck, I think , “damn, he couldn’t look any more puppyish” and then you post that. You guys were Meant To Be. And yes, I cried a little at the end of the story.

  • http://irkable.com/ Julia

    Ohmuguh, cutest puppy EVAR. And since I had to worry about someone booking My Cat at the shelter after I fell in love with her OVER THE INTERNET, before I’d have time to get there, I totally understand.

    While those pictures do make me want to get a puppy, they more kind of make me want to get a kitten. Which could also have something to do with the fact that The Roomie-Man said yesterday that maybe we should get a second cat.

  • http://irkable.com Julia

    Wow, that sounded way insensitive, sorry. I didn’t have time to snuggle and then have her stolen under me, so let’s say I don’t understand, I totally sympathize.

  • Sue from Ohio

    Dooce, I hope you got pictures of the fantastic eclipse with your fantastic Nikon D70 last night…my little DX6490 did a great job, I can only imagine what yours did/could do…

  • http://chickenflicken.blogspot.com Michelle

    Doo-doo log on table=good.
    Doo-doo log in tub=retching.

    I bet Leta was laughing her ass off on the inside….

    Chuck is precious.

  • jansell

    Yes!! Let’s make bracelets and necklaces and backpacks!! We’ll be rich! Jesus would want that.

  • kimberley

    I’m pretty sure Jesus would be down with that. Holmes.

  • http://www.lemonlight.org Angie

    That’s the scariest thing I’ve seen, ever. The thought processes that must have had to occur for that to be maufactured, then actually used is just plain creepy!

  • spygeek

    What’s weird is, I assume the answer is “no one”, but I’m not sure that’s what the writer intended. Hmmm.

  • dustin

    ..after hours of conversation with Ghandi and the rest of the UN, they decided on Kashmir…

    Oh, sacrilege.

  • http://veeg.blogspot.com Veeg

    Oh, I want that bumpersticker. And maybe a t-shirt, too. Fucking hilarious.

    The “Armstrong Clause” made me weepy.

  • http://www.partofthatworld.com Becca

    whoa

  • denise

    The strangest part of that photo is that it looks like someone took a BB-gun to the car and went after it.

  • http://redefining.org di

    can i get an amen?

  • http://www.dalecruse.com Dale Cruse

    In Boston, we have “What Would Johnny Damon Do” shirts.

  • http://www.ipengy.com Chris From Ohio

    As seen on the back of the car of an abortion clinic protestor…

  • http://serialblogonomy.blogspot.com Katie

    Dale Cruse, that is extremely funny.

    I may be a pinko commie America-hater (actually, I really, really dig the Bill of Rights, among other fine American institutions) but, barring the obvious answer of “nobody”, I’d have to guess that we might make the short list. Given all the sinning and all.

  • http://www.smoochdog.com Michelle

    And in Boston we also have a “Got Curt?” shirt. Not sure why we have to play a dedicated wounded pitcher off as a milk ad…any ideas any one?

  • Tracy

    France!!!!

    Blue voter in a red state…

  • Monika

    Not all abortion clinic protesters, in fact most of them, do not bomb clinics, shoot doctors, or act in any violent way. The stand or pray peacefully and some try to give the men and women going in ALL the information they need to make an informed decision, like what the abortion procedure really is, and what effect it may have on them, which abortion clinics often do not provide. They do, after all make much more money when a woman stays for an abortion, than when she leaves to keep her baby or put him/her up for adoption.

  • Jeff

    Novelty and money Michelle. Novelty and money.

    I live in New Hampshire and I saw someone with that shirt the other day. :)

  • Sarah

    Anyone who would presume to know the answer to that question is totally deluded, how the hell does anyone know who Jesus would bomb? Its like those people who pretend to know what was in Marcellus Wallace’s briefcase in Pulp Fiction.

    I have my Canadian fingers crossed for Kerry!

  • Heidi

    it’s rain drops, not bbs and i think the sticker is funny (or sad, depends on your mood), in that it makes you think of how a lot of people in American society think today…by solving a problem (perceived problem), with violence. don’t like someone or something, bomb the shit out of them. bomb them until they come around to your way of thinking.

  • Sue

    Hey…other fun Jesus stickers include: “Jesus was a liberal,” “Jesus shaves,” “I found Jesus…he was hiding behind the couch the whole time,” and “I found Jesus…now it’s my turn to hide.” All of this fun stuff comes from Northern Sun (www.northernsun.com), which features tons more political, feminist, religious, and just plain funny stickers, t-shirts, and other stuff. Enjoy surfing the site!

  • jeanne

    I think the point of the bumper sticker is, in case you missed it, the irony of the “Jesus vote” being the same as the “let’s kill them all” vote.

  • http://www.livejournal.com/users/slickgothgurl slick

    jesus would bomb crawford texas. he told me so.

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