When I say Jesus, you say Jesus, say Jesus. JESUS!

I just had an acid flashback to Vacation Bible School. Forgive me, Jesus.

  • http://www.lompyville.blogspot.com marsha

    Oh and the person who thinks our country sucks and the pres doesn’t matter? Go to iraq and say that to them. Or the Sudan. Or a kajillion other places where the water will kill you and most of the population sleeps on the ground. Spoiled brat.

  • http://www.pattisunshine.blogspot.com patti

    I love how your website addresses the issues that no one else dares to go near. That is why I check your site every day, it’s like the intrigue of a car wreck. Too bad it is at your expense though,like what the occasional In France-type person has done to you!
    I also feel your pain. My neighborhood is a microcosm of Utah. All of the front yards have Bush signs, and here we are with a NOBUSH.COM sticker on our son’s Little Tykes station wagon! hahhahahahahaaaaaaaa (my mom was appalled)

  • http://www.drjames.blogspot.com james

    Also have to go with Brooke on this one. Yes, not all Christians are voting for Bush. I stand as one among them.

    voting for justice.

  • http://fridayfilms.diaryland.com Friday

    Well Dee, it seems your comment was just a passive-agressive vehicle for calling women who have abortions “selfish stupid people.” I hope the child you so desperately want will grow up to have a more tolerant attitude towards those who exercise their right to choose.

  • http://nowhere.com moose

    >>it’s like the intrigue of a car wreck


    that’s the absolute truth.

  • http://www.tonguetyed.blogspot.com Ty

    Just another little ray of hope about my Red Texas…in my neighborhood there are several houses with Bush-Cheney signs in the yard, but for about every 2 Bush signs there is a Kerry sign. And the best one of all is the 6′x6′ sign on stilts with balloons for Kerry-Edwards!! It gives me a little hope to see that. Not EVERY SINGLE PERSON in Texas is a republican.

  • Other Dee

    Um, I think that Jesus just bombed Ashlee Simpson’s career. And if that don’t make you a True Believer, I’ll be damned if I know what will.

  • http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=2026&ncid=2026&e=3&u=/latimests/20041027/ts_latimes/conflictedevangelicalscouldcostbushvotes Tracy

    From a Yahoo story on Evangelicals struggling over the vote (for the whole story, click on my name):

    Others are like Joe Urcavich, pastor of the nondenominational evangelical Green Bay Community Church, where more than 2,000 people worship each Sunday. He is undecided, troubled by the bloodshed in the Middle East.

    “It’s hard for me to say that Christians should be marching against abortion and carrying signs, and then turn around and giving a pep rally for the war in Iraq without even contemplating that hundreds and hundreds of people are being killed on a regular basis over there,” Urcavich said.

    “I’m very antiabortion, but the reality is the right to life encompasses a much broader field than just abortion,” he added. “If I’m a proponent of life, I have to think about the consequences of not providing prescription drugs to seniors or sending young men off to war.”

  • Christi

    I am in a ‘not yet decided what color we’re going to be’ state aka Florida, yes the hanging chad state! Now we’re computerized, oh the trouble we’re in for. We even have early voting, so not only are we waiting in long lines for flu shots we’re also waiting in long lines for that 89 year-old retiree to figure out how to work the touch screen voting machine. What has the world come to. My street is mostly made up of Kerry signs oh and Bubba for Sherrif signs, haha Bubba The Love Sponge that is, google the name, you’ll see what I am talking about. Ok, I have to get back to watching Ellen!

  • Tracy

    “Um, I think that Jesus just bombed Ashlee Simpson’s career. And if that don’t make you a True Believer, I’ll be damned if I know what will.”

    Praise the Lord! Let us pray that He moves on to Brittney next…

  • http://www.dooce.com/archives/daily_photo/10_27_2004.html Anne

    Fer cry ay ay … each day the comment section turns into “Adult Sandbox.”

    I only discovered dooce.com a week ago and the comment section is already boring. Love the Dooce-generated/centered part of the website, though.

  • http://nathanlogan.com Nathan Logan

    K, I’m voting for Bush, but patti, that is hilarious.

    I would die laughing to see your boy putting around in that thing. Pictures welcome.

  • Emma

    I’m pretty darn sure that that bumper sticker is saying “Who Would Jesus Bomb- get it? GET IT? Jesus wouldn’t bomb ANYONE, you jackasses! And it pisses him off when you kill people in his name! Now excuse me while I go buy some new socks.”

    Okay, maybe not the socks part.

    Maybe I’m insane, of course. But I think not, in this case. I’m a smidge dismayed by the irony-free zone above. :(

  • http://nathanlogan.com Nathan Logan

    (patti in comment 73, that is)

  • http://nathanlogan.com Nathan Logan

    I wasn’t going to say anything about who Jesus would bomb until I read Emma’s comment. But check this out:


    No socks, but “the rest were killed with the sword which came from the mouth of Him who sat on the horse [JESUS], and all the birds were filled with their flesh.”

    No bombs, but a lot of death.

  • Kyllikki

    i agree–it’s a silly question. i’m with Amanda B on this one. we take the ultimate hippy full of love and turn him into the masthead of clusterfuck. king missile had it right–jesus was way cool (i love the delicious cake bit)


  • http://www.dooce.com/archives/daily_photo/10_27_2004.html Yas

    I think that it should be either:

    “Whom would Jesus bomb?”
    “Who would bomb Jesus?”

    Which one you are discussing here?
    Is this a trick question?
    I am confused.

    (I am not native English speaker, so helpe me please.)

  • http://www.ipengy.com Chris From Ohio

    Someone asked a while ago who started the abortion line of conversation… ::Waives a guilty hand above his head::

    For the record, I just have a sense of humor.

  • LadyBug

    >>”Who would bomb Jesus?”

    Oh, Lordy…that’s hilarious, no matter which side of the political fence you’re on!

  • Jason

    For all you people worried about the number of deaths from war and abortion: In 2003, 42,643 were killed in car accidents in the US alone (http://www-fars.nhtsa.dot.gov/). Maybe you should spend your time lobbying for stricter licensing requirements (instead of handing out licenses to illegal immigrants – I’m from Cali).
    Granted, traffic accidents don’t incite the moral outrage of abortion or war, but MANY more people are being killed and injured. Yet war and abortion generate the fear and discussion – I can understand war, but abortion? How does that even affect you if you aren’t the person getting the abortion? Moral and values should guide you in living YOUR life – they don’t license you to go around judging everyone else’s choices or give you a right to tell them how to live. Live your own life and try not to be a hypocrite (like the guy with the Honk if you love Jesus sticker who is flipping off people who honk at him).

    And calm down about the firggin’ jokes – they can be funny even if you disagree with the point of view.

    OK, that concludes my morning rant (thanks, Heather, for the opportunity).

  • http://deann.blogspot.com DeAnn

    You don’t have to know a lot about Jesus to feel confident saying he would bomb NO ONE.

    And, also, why do such bitchy people e-mail you? I kind of hate that lady who called your hair a bitch.

    Although I totally love the Armstrong clause. That is fabulous!

  • http://www.livejournal.com/users/littlehoney Aimee

    The car accident effect: I don’t want to see it – but I can’t help looking. How appropriate.

    I have found Jesus to have an excellent sense of humor. And excellent fashion sense.


  • http://www.bandick.blogspot.com bandick

    I feel quite certain that the emailer mistyped. She meant ‘i am from LA’ bitchIN blonde.

    And if she thinks that there are only two issues of concern in this election, she has been spending too much time watching Fox News.

  • lily

    LOL ewww you watched u’re baby poopy! eww eww ewww i gotta get that image outta my head!

  • …of france lady

    geez, you write a drunken email to a girl you think rocks (except for her presidential choice) and suddenly you’re the DEVIL. really folks, i’m a very level-headed open-minded person. i just don’t like john kerry. that’s all. i LIKE dooce’s hair color, I even said so. i just got a little overzealous in my opinions.really, i didn’t even think she’d read it. it’s weird that all this reaction is coming from my little email. honestly, did NOT mean to put out so much negativity. so, um… sorry. peace.

  • http://wouldacouldashoulda.blogspot.com/ Mir

    I’m pretty sure Jesus would bomb… FRANCE!!!

    Sorry to hear about the Playdoh-factory naked poop. BUT. Be on the lookout for Leta’s attempt to join that most elite of all baby/toddler society groups, the Poop In The Tub Club. They get bonus points for being frightened of their own turd (as if it was some alien swamp monster coming to attack), by the way.

  • http://agearp.blogspot.com Dee

    You know Marsha, most of the population in Iraq may sleep on the ground as you claim becuase of tyrans ruling. I didn’t say I am for their way of living. But this country is not much farther behind … some of us may have our own beds and jobs but do open arounds alnd look around at those who don’t. I see it everyday which does not makes me spoiled. Those who don’t see it need to call themselves spoiled brats.

    Look around you and tell me the last time you got on the road without someone cursing at you or worse you cursing at someone else. We have all these roads and all these cars and we forget others who don’t – that live in this country too — I am looking at the big picture – you look at your miniscule segment of life.

    I am not trying to put you down here, just to tell you that there are things, many things that suck in the USA and unfortunately the Presidency cannot fix those.

  • http://agearp.blogspot.com Dee


    You misundertood my post. I actually said the opposite – that although I may not agree with it it is a free country and people have the right to choose.

  • http://agearp.blogspot.com Dee


    I have to say that unfortunately because of our diversity some people do care about what others do with their bodies and their babies. To me adoption is not a hot topic since I believe in a woman’s right to choose. However, it is an incredibly hot topic with a parent in my DDs dance class. The woman does not move on and the other day she was given a big shock by two parents that brought in very graphical pictures and articles about rape and badly deformed children. She was also given a story from a mother who was anti-abortion and whose DD was raped and ended up pregnant. The woman has not been back that I saw this past week but I would love to find out how she handled it.

    I think a lot of times we take sides with something we believe in whether or not it affects us directly.

    I’ve lost six babies (not to abortion) and can find a place to believe in women’s rigth to choose – I have no right to judge as I am not God or Jesus.

    Sad to say, abortion, war, all the bad stuff in the world in so many ways springs out of religion taken to the extreme – this in itself explains why so many people take these topics to heart

  • http://www.debutaunt.com debutaunt

    I’m sure Jesus would bomb these children …


    No. Wait. *We* were the ones that blew that kid’s head to bits like a smashed pumpkin.

    I voted today. My blue vote in this red red state. That sticker is brilliant.

  • jen

    One of my neighbors has this on a bumper sticker (paraphrased):

    When Jesus said, “Love thy neighbor,” he probably meant “Don’t Kill Them.”

    Oh, and Leta clearly has her father’s bottom system.

  • http://agearp.blogspot.com Dee

    Debutant – I add this one http://www.robert-fisk.com

    sorry dooce — I am hogging up your space today — I have a day off work and cannot stay away from the computer — I’ll be back at work tomorrow though ;-)

  • rlk

    it takes a brave women to bring up Politcs and Jesus, will the comments ever end?

  • introverted

    Please stop saying “Cali”. Nobody who’s really from California says “I’m from Cali”. You’re an import. We don’t say “Cali”.

  • http://agearp.blogspot.com Dee

    lol introverted, you must really be Arnold

  • http://www.dooce.com/archives/daily_photo/10_27_2004.html Anne

    Oh Leta. I can’t wait until you get potty-trained. I hope your mama (that’s right, “MAMA”) still has her website because I will be endlessly entertained by your mama’s (there it is again, “MAMA”) recounts of your attempts to master the toilet.

    From She Who Is Currently Stuck In Toilet Training Hell Herself

  • bunny

    Do most of you, honestly, care what Jesus says about anything?

    Yeah, that is what i thought.

    Let’s leave Him out of our petty politics.

  • Graygirl

    I am continually amazed at the subjects that generate so many comments…..politics, poop and now Jesus!

  • Guy Slade
  • Sue from Ohio

    Too many great ideas for a website name….

    who would Jesus get ‘bombed’ with?

  • Sue from Ohio

    and would he get bombed on French Champagne?

  • …of france lady

    G. McFuzz- thanks for the link. i did, in fact, look it up and read every word. it’s a complicated election. i hope whoever is best for our country wins. god, i hope so.

  • Dee

    ok ready, here I go again – this one is for Guy –

    I believe that the President is a person like everyone else. I believe the President has his own views and ideals and he believes he is right just like the rest of us. I believe the President did the best he could with what he was given and within the constraints of his personal views and the views of the rich. I believe that regarless of who gets to be the next President, he is a person. I believe that not everyone will agree with everything either of the presidential candidates will do in the next four years. I believe that no one person will satify 100% of the population now will his views match those of any individual 100% of the time

    I believe Iraq, Iran, Cuba, Afghanistan, Vietnam, Germany, and the US are in the same Planet. I believe in equal rights. I belive in the power of people. I belive that people can be the best they can be if they pull together for a common cause.

    I believe that the differences in people and their believes are what makes the world unique, good, and bad. I believe that its up to the people to make this country and the Planet better and the President can’t control the outcome of the masses pulling together for what they believe in.

    I believe I will never agree with anything I currently disagree with unless something that affects me personaly smacks me in the face. I believe I cannot convince anyone else to be like me because they are not me.

    Most of all I believe war can be avoided if people believe in themselves and pull together in passive ways. I believe I support Our Troops because it is my duty to do so…but I also believe that war is never an answer. I believe that people need to learn that we are in a shared world and no one nation has a right to a bigger piece of the pie.

    I believe in jokes, funnies, and ha ha’s. I believe in mischief. I believe in Halloween, Christmas, and I believe in Fairies.

  • http://wreckingball.org/art steven

    thank you, yas. because the first thing i thought was “whom! whom would jesus bomb, goddammit!”

  • Graygirl

    OH….and while we are on the subject of abortion and bumber stickers:


  • Darcie

    Re: Play-do doo on the changing table.

    If it’s a mighty, mighty mess, at my house that’s what we call a “pootastrophy.” (We don’t say shit so as not to teach the baby cursewords.) You have my permission to use the term yourownself.

    Girl, you give way too much airtime to the nasty hate mongers–those who are just jell-azz of you (cute baby, cute hairs, funny blog) and want to bring you down. There are many, many more of us who think you are phenoma-mama and wish you nothing but lightness of heart. So there.

  • Amanda B.

    LL Cool J soooo said “Cali”.

    It’s extremism that freaks me out. I was raised in southern Mississippi as a NON-CHRISTIAN. So, I’ve had my share of flayings from fundementalists. I do however believe in God and have been kicked in the teeth by many an Aetheist.

    I don’t mean to go all Oprah here, but I really think everbody has the right to find their own path. And your path doesn’t have to intersect mine in order for me to respect you.

    I’ve found that adopting an “i don’t give a fuck what you think about my beliefs” attitude has been very helpful. It doesn’t always work, because people really go for the jugular sometimes. Most of the time I can just say, “I understand that you feel that way.” and walk off.

    I swear though, if one more person tells me i’m “going to hell” or makes fun of my “imaginary friend”, my zen is going to turn straight into a can of ass whoop.

  • http://www.debutaunt.com debutaunt

    Can we mix poop and politics? I think that would be funnier. No wait. Poop = politics. Maybe that’s why this site exists? :)

    BTW, In my house, a loaded diaper was called a full metal jacket.

  • katie

    whoa.. current google ad: PARTIAL BIRTH ABORTION. hahaha.

  • nameless

    There is no one righteous, not even one. romans 3:10

    I think Jesus said some pretty important things. Doesn’t anyone care anymore?

    “But now they have seen these miracles, and yet they have hated both me and my Father. 25But this is to fulfill what is written in their Law: ‘They hated me without reason.’” John 15:25

    16″For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son,[6] that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. 17For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. 18Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because he has not believed in the name of God’s one and only Son.[7] 19This is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but men loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil. 20Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that his deeds will be exposed. 21But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what he has done has been done through God.”[