This morning it started to snow heavily and as I was lurching in slow motion toward the window saying, OH. MY. GOD. the power went out. Like, the lights turned off and the heat shut off and worst of all THE TELEVISION STOPPED WORKING. I immediately called Beth on the old phone in the basement [...]
I had Leta on the bed this morning, and as she was playing with toys I tried to coax her into saying, “Mama.” I sang “Mama mama mama,” over and over again, slowly mouthing MA MA with my lips wide and then together again. When I stopped to take a breath she looked at me [...]
Give me that stern, exasperated look when I lift up on the car door handle at the precise moment you try to unlock the car. I CANNOT HELP IT. IT’S A GENETIC DISORDER.
We tempted fate again last night and took Leta out to dinner with my family. It’s become a pastime of ours, torturing the public with our monster offspring. Leta ate a plate of refried beans and then threw saltine crackers at the people sitting at the table next to ours. By the end of the [...]
Last week someone in the comments on a photo said that they checked their watch, and what do you know, it’s October: time for Heather to change her hair. Indeed, it is once again that time of year, a time when I can’t stand what is on top of my head and will go to [...]
Ask me if your fart stinks as if I would actually consider understaking that investigation.
Sometimes when I’m lying in bed at night trying to go to sleep I have songs and words from the day stuck in my head that keep me awake. Last night I had a series of vowels and consonants going around and around, something that goes like, “Ahhhh ya yaaa goo goo da da da [...]