That’s a photo in a scrapbook of my baby pictures that I made for my mother in 1998. Stars, and circles, and cutouts, oh my!
Posted in Daily Photo
Just read this article:
Do you ACTUALLY get 40,000 hits a day? If you had a hit counter, it’d look like the Griswold’s electric meter at Christmas!
heather, can you please write a book already? how much longer are you gonna make us wait for a WHOLE BOOK of stories just like the “Cautionary Tale”?? and please make sure they ship to germany..
I love that one of the google ads is for a “Padded Butt Panty”.
Panty. Definitely panty. Almost as good as the word ointment. (a friend of mine from college loves the word ointment. I think it is the oinky sound at the beginning that is so appealing)
I am entirely happy that there is a Google Ad up for “Padded Butt Panties”. That just made my morning.
I don’t know, maybe it’s me but if you’re (meaning Google) going to advertise something called a ‘Sissy Panty’ you would think they would at least provide pictures…GEESH!
*Sarah–We like you. We REALLY like you! hehe
*Master OTO–hmmm, maybe a sitz bath in mayo. Isn’t that the Old Wives cure for blisters….mmmm, that makes me think of BLT’s. Not the sitz just the mayo….
So, afters I eats the spicy buffalos wings, and I finds blisters on me ass, you wants me to sitz in the mayo?
Ooh Sheryl- saucy! Touche my witty friend.
Fish- don’t sell yourself short, you were pretty damn funny today.
Aye, aye – Fish, your posts are stuffed to the gills… you been schoolin us
btw – Tracy
Screaming Sphincter Garlic Hot Sauce
Screaming Sphincter Chili Recipe
Heather- next time tell the barista,
“Ghost of Christmas future, baby.”
I thought that thumbnail was Leta — she does look more and more like you every day =) (PS — loved the cheddar fish story)
Love the Alphalfa look.
Did I spell that right?
Library Nat, I don’t know how to make internet jesus fish, but I can do this: :> and I think that should count for something.
GirlA this is for you:
You be my hero, girl(A).
You be makin’ my heart glow
Like some hot boiling diarrhea
Comin’ out yo ass.
Blistering sphincters aint got shit
On yo fine ass self.
George gonna be my baby daddy
and dooce be a fly ass mamma
GirlA, she be lovin’ that bling
That ice, those rocks
Shining from my grill
Like scaly internet jesus fish.
I’ve had many, many days like that. The worst was when after a day at the beach, I was dragging my two, very defiant toddlers, our sand toys, diaper bag, towels, etc. across the sand to the parking lot. Totally struggling. I saw up ahead a large group of typical Orange County teenagers who were all just watching me approach them like I was some sort of freak. I couldn’t avoid walking past them and as I did, I mumbled something like, “enjoy your youth.” Of course, they were all silent. I think one girl sort of smiled, but I think it was out of pity. I wanted to scream, “I used to be just like you! It wasn’t that long ago! You just wait! Etc. etc. etc.”
Hey dooce, have you seen this? http://www.jenmagazine.com/modest-clothes/modest-fashion.asp
Leta looks like you. My brother and I looked exactly the same as babies, and we’re 13.5 years apart.
From now on whenever I think about eating wings (and I eat them ALL THE TIME), I will forever visualize hot, boiling diarrhea. But my image will include blue cheese dressing. Cheesy, hot, boilin’ diarrhea.
Aw geez. I was gonna buy you Robeez, darn it all to heck.
The tales (and vivid descriptions) of hot boiling diarrhea are, um, interesting and all; but my favorite word from today’s comments is *perambulating*. Say it with me now…perrrrammmmmbuuuulaaaatiiing. There now…isn’t that nice?
It brings tears to my eyes that “hot boiling diarrhea” means as much to all of you as it does to me. I heart you all…sniff.
Hot boiling diarrhea brings tears to all our eyes
I like how your small world/sock finder person used a hyphenated ‘y’ twice to turn nouns into adjectives. Just wanted to mention that.
ps. Where is Amber and her internet Jesus fish? <> Amber, can we be internet buddies?
re “cautionary tale,” I think you might have coined a new stage direction: “stage leta”
re: “Hot boiling diarrhea brings tears to all our eyes”
‘Tis rare that I visit this late at night, but GOOD GOD, Sheryl, you are f-ing hilarious. By the way, it was English Literature grad school at Fordham, but I majored in philosophy in undergrad.
Tracy: “Screaming Sphincter” will be tomorrow’s phrase that I’ll try to use in every conversation.
At least you didn’t spill coffee on yourself.
On the subject of poop: I once had a male roommate who drank draft beer, despite the raging ring of fire he would endure after a night of such, so he put a roll of toilet paper in the freezer for the morning after…..therefore, you can still eat hot wings! It just takes a bit of foresight.
On the trip to Starbucks with Leta – I get it. I totally get it. I never thought I’d be that woman either. My 4 month old Thomas is the male version of Leta – he rarely naps because I haven’t discovered the art of precise napping that you speak of. He screams – ALOT with a capital fucking A. Thank God for Paxil.
Very cute baby pic!
20 buffalo wings… Who would have thought the cure for constipation was THAT SIMPLE?
If 20 Buffalo Wings is the cure for constipation, what’s the cure for ass-blisters?
wow never knew those Robeez exsisted very cool shoes just ordered a pair hehe u should get a commision
Yes, what IS prolly?
Love the Starbucks story. That’s happened to me about twice a week for the past 3 years. And now I have TWO. It just gets worse. And better.
Dooce, you’re a great writer.
Ladies, R U kidding?
Prolly = Probably
Leta TOTALLLY looks like you!
That’s Leta’s Mommy for SURE
The only thing worse than calling it “The Costco” is calling it “Costco’s.” It seems to be a Brooklyn/Queens/Jersey thing, and I HATE IT.
No, I sold out after a year of grad school and became a *gasp* lawyer.
LOL I was going to add “(feigning surprise)” on my last post.
Let me guess, philosophy… or ummm, philosophy of science. Or was it rhetoric.
Screaming sphincter, Fish is a shark!
OMG Tracy – I almost fell off my chair when I refreshed, laughing so hard. The file cabinet broke my fall – painful!
Fish, partnership is easier to get than tenure some say. From my pov it’s a toss-up.
The best thing about wings (besides the taste) is the throat-searing, eyeglass-fogging buffalo wing burps they empower. I’ve had a many an instance when the burps were so raw and fiery that I threw up in my mouth. Even Tivo can’t beat that.
I just now read yesterday’s post about Leta and the goldfish. If there are goldfish crackers within a 20 foot radius of my daughter, she knows, and she.must.have.them. Period. They are crack for babies.
Better then looking like Neil Armstrong I guess…
So we now know how to spell diarrhea, but what is prolly?
I’ll say it again…people are attracted to themselves (people who like them)
The sock – how cool is the sock story – I love the Internet!
Anyone else sitting here thinking about what a shark looks like, comparing to a lawyer, comparing to Neil Armstrong in a spacesuit?
Took me a while – but Yes, I am Master of the Obvious
Fran, Mebbe you are taking TV *and* spelling too seriously. Reed it owtlowd fer chrisssake
Yah for the SB. I want to see more. Are you a 2Ps girl?
Fish, I have a vivid imagination. I’ve never compared hot boiling diarrhea with anything before …
Though once I did eat 2 tablespoons of wasabi on a bet. And that was a scary-ass experience the next day. Felt like my “bottom system” shed it’s internal lining – much like the roof of your mouth after you drink scalding coffee, or like a Python turning itself inside out to molt. But the guy who ate 5 tablespoons of wasabi spent the night in the emergency room.
For a developing example of Schizophrenia and the Internet, see the comments section at dooce.com.
Hey Dooce — What happened to DJ Blurb?
Mihow: not schizoprenia, post-structuralism, silly.
We’ll hang ourselves tomorrow … unless Godot comes.
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