• http://www.infinitepink.com Christine

    The size of your body doesn’t matter to me.

    The shape of your thighs doesn’t matter to me.

    The length of your legs doesn’t matter to me.

    The radiance that comes through your smile as you dance with lovely Leta — *that* matters to me!

    It’s good to see you enjoying your life, Heather. Keep going!

  • http://honestyrain.blogspot.com/ honestyrain

    it is a known fact that to eradicate Stupid one must first slap Stupid right upside the head and where possible give it a good swift kick in the pants as well. you have neatly achieved both and i applaud you. should Stupid remain undaunted by these efforts, which is likely as Stupid is remarkably persistent (see recent US election results), please persist in your efforts. at some point you will emerge victorious.

  • http://maryw.blogspot.com Mary

    Great pic! A most excellent expression of joy.

    The comments about thinking the thumbnail was of a rooster made me laugh. I totally thought it was a garden gnome. :)

  • http://decotera.typepad.com/the_muse_bites Jen

    Hey, is there also a little note on their mailbox that you are marching past?



  • Sarah

    You know, I wonder what your crazy, isolationist neighbors would do if some Mormons came knocking at their door?

    Do you guys get door-to-door Mormons in Utah?

  • Laurie

    According to my boyfriend, weevil or boll wevils are little bugs that can drill their way through wood and sometimes live in older house cabinets. Although he doesn’t understand how they would get into the fridge with the tupperware. :)

    I LOVE those shoes! THey look like merrell hiking shoes kinda.

  • http://www.andreaknapp.blogspot.com Andrea

    After 89 comments, don’t you feel conscious about your long legs? :)

    But I hope you piss your neighbours off mightily………

  • Jen

    When I saw the thumbnail, I thought it was a rooster. Kudos for beating the neighbors in the ornary game.
    And I agree, your legs could definitely reach China. Having barely reached five feet and staying there, I will never know what that feels like.

  • Caroline

    I notice people keep commenting on the numbers of the posts. Do they count all the posts to find these numbers (75? Who counts to post 75?), because my computer is totally not showing post numbers. I knew there was some kind of conspiracy going on. I better get some electrical tape and post some signs out front. That’s the logical thing to do.

  • http://lalawawa.blogspot.com Lauren

    Is it me or does Leta have both her socks on? How long did it last?

  • Bilge

    Nice gas guzzler.

  • http://mamajennwentzell.blogspot.com/ jennifer

    Very funny .. very very funny. Glad to see leta takes after her mom in sarcastic humour. I can’t believe I wasn’t posting sooner, I checked the site so often ahhhh, one day one day!

  • Henry

    OMGWTF what if they are planning to blow themselves up and assassinate teh president OMG!!!!!!1111oneone

    seriously, Dee, do you really wanna call the cops on these people? Yeah they’re clearly a little freaky but they were hardly threatening by what I read. But they seem strange to you so let’s harrass them! awesome!

    i am not sure america really needs an informer-state right now. maybe you disagree.

  • krissy pants

    I’ve been wondering the same thing! How do people know what number they are? I know up top it lists how many people have commented…but how do you know where a specific message falls in that number?

    Internet? Please let us know…as I’m sure you will with force.

  • henry

    krissy – uh, you add one to the number of comments? what with the number of comments going up by one everytime you post, you can prove inductively that the number of your post is the number of previous posts plus one.

    now people sometimes post in between you sampling the post count and making your post: this gives us a ‘margin of error’ that is proportional to the rate of posts which itself seems to be a function of just how cute a shot of leta is and also how many other comments have been made.

    i expect to be comment 99 or 100. Maybe 101 since I had to go to the bathroom while writing this post.

  • http://blogs.lefebvre.us/wendee wendee

    I see a number at the top of the page that tells how many post there are.

  • http://rottingrodents.blogspot.com Amanda

    Am I first? Am I first?!

  • krissy pants

    Also, I am sure Dooce is secure enough with herself to take the comments, opinions, psycho analysis and bitch-slaps we give her.

    If not, she might want to rethink the whole exposing herself to the entire world via the internet.

  • http://sknitfit.typepad.com/aint_no_answer/ Hil

    Although your Hava Nagila dance reminds me a bit of the Hava Nagila dance that my Catholic relatives did at my Jewish wedding. Fun!

  • henry

    oh…. i take that back. my browser displays numbers. i was being a smart ass about a totally different problem. oops.

  • http://taxi.bigredgiant.com/ Rachel

    Please make sure to teach Leta the Hava Nagila dance when she gets older. :)

  • http://gretchenb.tripod.com/mrbaby/ Gretchen C.

    I love me some DKNY running shoes. I have an extremely offensive yellow pair from Loehmann’s. I wear them expressly to cheese people off.

    We have neighbors who post the signs saying not to park in front of their house, and we deliberately park in front of their house, too.

  • JJ

    I so want your legs. Both of them.

    Oh and when we are going to see Leta eating the dog’s half-eaten rawhide bone? :)

  • Colleen from NJ

    holy freaky neighbor! I think that she’s definitely in need of an intervention with drugs.
    The informal litmus test to determine if a person is suffering from a mental illness as mentioned by faculty at Creighton University Medical School: can you talk about them for more than 15 minutes? Then, yes, you have probably found a truly mentally ill person.
    I have noticed this to be true in my own experience. Try to talk about some normal, healthy person for more than 15 minutes… you run out of things to say.

    So, Dooce, be careful, she’s bananas. Keep the kids AWAY.

    PS. Although she could be useful in discipline in a few years, when your once angelic baby gets that sassy tone up. Then you can say “Change that attitude, young lady, or I’m sending you to live with Crazy Cat Lady.” Sounds mean, but works better than a time out.

  • http://morici.typepad.com/bag_n_trash maryse

    did the crazy neighbors come out and scream at you?

  • http://www.livejournal.com/users/makingmywayhome Kristina

    I think the white spot is where their street number is. Am I right, dooce? Beth covers it up in her picture too. Anyway, I used to have a neighbor who put up a huge fence (6 feet) because the kids in our house “looked at their dog too much” and was causing him rage. ::Shrugs:: They let it out to bark at night, and when my mom asked them to please make it stop, the lady snapped “Your children caused Charlie’s rage, so I have to let him get it out.” They moved pretty soon after that.

    I like your shoes, too. And the thumbnail does look like a rooster.

  • mainer

    ok, I gotta say it,
    you are looking REALLY thin.
    are you taking good care of yourself?

  • Brian

    G’mornin from LI.
    wow… now that’s an amazingly awesome story…

    Im sorry that Beth got spooked out, but theres so much fun to be had with neighbors like that. Dooce seems to see it.

    Viva la revolución

  • Heather 2

    For those of you questioning the number thing…this same question came up during comments on a past picture, and apparently some people’s “browsers” actually number each post individually (in addition to it showing the total number of comments at the top). I am not lucky enough to see these additional numbers, so was confused as to why people were able to refer to a specific comment…thinking they were CRAZY to go through and count them out.

  • Helen

    First time commenting…

    I was introduced to your site a week or so ago and have been hooked ever since. I was told you would make me laugh and you do… everyday. So thanks for that.

    I love the fact that you parked there. Doing a jig and taking a picture to capture the moment is even better. My parents street is always packed with cars, making it hard to find a space sometimes. Well, some residents put out traffic cones to stop people parking outside their houses. If ever we can’t find a space I move them. It’s beyond rude for these people to do that, and I always move them while exclaiming loudly just how rude I think it is. My boyfriend sits in the car covering his face in embarrassment.

    The person who said they think Dooce looks like Uma Thurman? I see it! I’ve seen it since the day I first saw her picture. Beautiful woman.

    Um, longer first comment than I intended. Ah well.

  • http://nineminutes.blogspot.com Mel

    Mo, nice Simpson’s reference.

    Also, I stopped reading after Mo’s response, because all the comments on how cute/skinny/long-legged/tall Heather is started to sound creepy.

    What I like about the pic is the triangle of red shoe, red mailbox flag, red tail-light. That’s what I noticed first.

  • Sheryl

    You can also see the post numbers from the browsers installed on web enabled blackberries and other PDAs.

  • http://peggasus.blogspot.com Peggasus

    Looks more like a goosestep to me. Which would be appropriate, as they are Parking Nazis.

  • annakay

    i second the goose step comment. our neighbor (a nun of all things) knocked our mailbox off the house and then did a ding-dong doorbell ditch when we parked in front of her house.

  • http://www.commuterchaos.com Kieran

    Screw the neighbors its a free country…well it is Utah and that is a whole different story.

  • http://www.commuterchaos.com Kieran

    yeah and BTW that doesnt look like a Jewish dance it look more like the German Nazi High Step!

  • http://bethology.blogspot.com Beth

    Oh, people in England just don’t use the word ORNERY enough. I’d almost forgotten about that word entirely.

    I am going to make it my mission to bring ORNERY to the British. And I’ll make sure they don’t say it the way it’s spelled.

    Awwn-ree! That’s just awwnree!

  • Heather 2

    Why do dog feet always smell like Fritos?

  • Siobhan

    Wow, those are crazy neighbors. My friend Kat’s neighbors children shoot at her stepchildren with their .22. And their dad likes to climb on the other neighbors roof at night. We should make Kat’s crazy neighbors live next to Beth’s crazy neighbors and record the melt down for future generations.

  • http://poupidou.blogspot.com taryn

    I’m glad I’m not the only one who thought the thumbnail pic was of a rooster!

  • Helen

    Beth, I’ll join you on that mission. I’ll take Wales, you get England. And Scotland since you’re closer to them.

  • http://kimba-bremen.diaryland.com kim

    this is where i learn more english vocabulary every day. today’s word of the day: ornery – niedertraechtig. thank you ;o)

  • http://poupidou.blogspot.com taryn

    I saw a rooster too! Ha ha ha!

  • http://kimba-bremen.diaryland.com kim

    also – defiance = trotz. ain’t there a place in ohio called defiance? chris from ohio?

  • http://jesferris.blogspot.com jes


    I just read the post “CBS Should Make Me Apologize for this Post” written on Monday, February 23, 2004 (see “Boobs” Category).

    Dooce – I am sitting at work, trying to muffle my laughter so it appears that I am working hard, and I laughed until I nearly cried!! Is THIS what I have to look forward to?!?

  • http://gretchenb.tripod.com/mrbaby/ Gretchen C.

    Dog feet do sometimes smell like Fritos. We always said our dog’s feet smelled like basmati rice.

  • Kristine

    This reminds me of Arlo Guthries, “Alices Restuarant”
    You should just sing that in front of the house one day, Really loud.
    “You can get anything you want at Alice’s Restaurant.” and then walk away.
    If TWO people do it…

  • http://svenschindler.com Sven

    Why are those neighbors so weird? Although I hate having other people park in front of my house – when I come home from work and cannot park where I live . . . but I’ve not put out a sign yet – although I was thinking of putting nails and screws on the road . . ;D

  • http://www.5head.org schumi

    Holy shit! Suprisingly I have friends that throw a fit if you park in front of their house. Even if you are visiting THEM. Oddly, they have parking in the back of their house they could use.

    Anyway, the husband left the wife last week. I knew she was a crazy bitch.

  • http://www.digitalcatharsis.com The Mighty Jimbo

    ya know, reading your current post and all i could think of was,

    “daaaaaamn. party at the armstrong’s!”