• Kellie

    No.

  • http://www.postednote.com eddo

    Heather you are so thin and taller than I thought- tall is good. Loved the dance…
    you look quite happy. :)

  • http://occupant.org/anna anna

    No, I’m last!

    For a few minutes, anyway; it’s sweet, *sweet* while it lasts.

  • TheGoat

    I’m last! said TheGoat, at least for the moment

  • Cori Skinner

    Hey Heather, just wanted to say hello from one of your old fellow panther alumni! Glad to hear you are doing well, you look great, take care of yourself!

  • http://soulsolid.com soulsolid

    Thats ridiculous! We have crazy parking Nazi’s here who leave notes on peoples cars, tryin’ to cock block all the time. 1) Public street, 2) unless you plan on gettin’ your natural ass whooped, don’t leave notes on other peoples rides (or anywhere else for that matter!) 3) Public street (dag! I said that already!)

  • Carol

    #182 (Human Writes for those who have no numbers) – Hilarious!!!

    I lost my hair, too, after babies. My youngest is one and a half and I finally had to cut bangs on myself to cover up the beautiful face-framing curly-cues.

  • Flossy

    Very scared by crazy neighbours!

  • Cate

    No, it’s me! *I’m* last, dangit!

    Yep, Salt Lake’s streets are beautifully organized. And then there’s the mountains (Oh, lovely, beautimous mounntains) so you always know what direction you’re headed. Unlike Mesa, Arizona, where the streets are on a lovely grid, but they all have names instead of numbers and there’s no mountains for the land-nav-challenged to orient themselves by. Darn Mesa.

  • krissy pants

    You were last

  • debbie

    i like how you can tell by the curve of her cheeck that little leta is smiling and laughing, too!

  • http://sadandbeautiful.typepad.com Sarah

    How in the HELL can anyone tell what Leta is doing…laughing, smiling, crying, she could be doing anything? Are you using a magnifying glass to look at this picture?
    Or are we projecting???? Hmmm?

    I want to think she’s laughing, too. I do, and I’m sure she probably is, because what baby would NOT be laughing if their mama was doing a silly dance up and down the sidewalk while holding her?

  • http://sadandbeautiful.typepad.com Sarah

    I don’t think I used enough question marks in that last comment of mine.

    What do you think?

    That was like an ‘of France’ with ???? instead of !!!!

    Oy Vay.

  • Danika

    Beth has to close HER blindds because the OTHER people want privacy. Unreal! Beth should say we don’t close our blinds because our KIDS need to be able to see out and have fresh air coming in. If they like privacy that much they can close their own blinds and too bad for the cats. Please continue to park there and piss them off. They deserve it!

    Love the pic! Want more pictures of you smiling!

  • STLBeth

    oh my goodness. same thing happened with some people that live across the street from my parents. nutshell: a year of calls to police and threats sprinklers turned on open Jeeps and demanding that there be a “parking schedule calendar” culminated with one last act of insanity by crazy neighbor and my sister inches away from whupping the crap out of the woman in the snow in the middle of the street. The lady ended up crying and apologizing and eventually got some happy drugs for her postpartum depression. We still call it Christmas Brawl 2002.

  • wheezer345

    Oh yeah, I’m first. Wait a minute! Oh yeah, the picture. RIGHT ON!!! You tell that lady!!!

  • For Real

    No, we’re not for real. We are people that Heather makes up in mind. She’s just sitting here all day putting in new comments. I’m her 27th personality. *rolling eyes*
    Yeah, people like her hair, her shoes and her damn hot husband.
    Is it a sin to admit it? if it is,…to quote her 57th personality that sits here and posts too…..”Party at the Armstrongs!”

    I’m in love with her camera.

  • DoulaBrooke

    Cate-
    I live in Mesa, AZ too and I always used the Superstition Mts. to navigate by when I first moved here, find them and I knew I was goin’ east!

  • jgs

    I like the irony that this woman is so concerned with her privacy – yet here we all are discussing her! If she found out about this website she’d be mortified!

  • TheGoat

    “The last post of the day #1053″ advised TheGoat.

    Seeya all tomorrow in Dooceland.

  • http://www.sugarpants.net Candice

    Since I own my own pair of red, “rocket”-like tennis shoes, I can concur that they are KICK-ASS shoes to own. You can’t go wrong with red shoes. I’m wearing them now.

    Haters, step off.

    —C.

  • http://www.luckyhazel.com wixlet

    ok, beth’s story creeped me the fuck out. why doesn’t psychonaut move to #@!&$ sandy???

  • Colleen from NJ

    Super Turtle Girl-
    Glad you like the gossip’s definition. Works like a charm and is fun to do.

    And anyone who dresses their offspring as Frieda is OK in my book.

  • Kelli

    What I want to know is – is Leta wearing her Robeez frog shoes yet? I know you said she screamed when you tried to put them on her before, but her feet are green in this pic, so I’m just wonderin’…they are so cute and she is a frog baby after all.

  • Taylor

    Yeah Asscrack, and you’re totally and the “dooce loves you” list now.

    Btw, Dooce-I. love. your. shoes.

  • http://chickenflicken.blogspot.com Michelle

    Do you really read all this crap?

  • http://chickenflicken.blogspot.com Michelle

    For those who have commented on how happy Leta looks and how much fun she seems to be having….how can you tell by THE BACK OF HER HEAD?

  • Cate

    Actually, I don’t live in Mesa. I’m here in Salt Lake. Sandy, actually. 10 miles south of Salt Lake City proper. But it’s all just one big city, the whole valley. But I visit family in Mesa just often enough that whenever I’m there I get terribly turned around and confused because I think I remember where things are but I really don’t have a clue.

    Crazy neighbor woman needs to move to some place where the nearest neighbor is a few hundred miles away. I hear Alaska is nice like that.

  • http://www.xanga.com/hardtoplease Hardtoplease

    My husband calls my loud and obnoxious socks, “Circus socks.”

    You have just shown me the perfect circus shoes to compliment my circus socks.

  • http://users.110.net/~brucesiart/watt/index.htm Bruce

    Yeah, I was wondering what kind of shoes Leta was wearing to, *really* I was. Y’know, frog-baby n’all.

    Ok, no I wasn’t.

  • http://www.dooce.com dooce

    yes, in fact, i DO read all this crap, all this wonderful, lovely, insane crap. i love crap.

    leta was having a kick ass time, and when we got into the car she said, “Show’d them sunzabitches!”

  • Sheryl

    Cate, my sentiments exactly
    “Crazy neighbor woman needs to move to some place where the nearest neighbor is a few hundred miles away.”

    Beth’s story reminds me never to move to the rural areas even tho my vote will count more, because the rural areas contain more people who want to be alone and who have guns.

    I admire it when the crazy people who know they probably shouldn’t be allowed around other people actually go far enough away to eliminate the clear and present danger. Those types probably wouldn’t live very long in Boston. Either they would just die of hot boiling diarrhea blow-outs caused by the anxiety overload or they would mouth off and some other crazy mutha would pop a cap in dey asses (ala Amanda B.)

    My BF’s stepdad comes to visit from upstate NY where he hunts non-stop, probably because he likes trudging round the woods for days without seeing other humans. When he comes to visit, he brings four hand guns to which I am violently opposed, as security blankets. I make BF lock them in a safe. Stepdad’s fear of traffic and paranoia about people who are not white-skinned is insane, and makes him constantly mutter about “When I get out my 45, that’ll take care of him!” Because of the stress of being in the city, Stepdad has to wear a “sleep mask” in the car so he can’t see the carnage around us as we drive him round the rotaries at 60 mph, and we all suffer from his massive bowel attacks (Read: we invested in an air filtration system and my BF has to clean the bathroom when they visit).

    [Sorry so long-winded. Testing code for 3 days and I am b.o.r.e.d.]

  • Sheryl

    DOOCE!
    Your post just made me spit hot boiling…
    LATTE on my beautiful flat screen, and my cashmere sweater.

    Off to the dry cleaners… *I love you for this* excuse to 1. take off my corp suit and put my jeans on early and 2. take a break!

  • IHateToast

    1) you have the longest legs i have ever seen…. grrrr, lucky wench

    2) i have 2 orange peelers. one from the melbourne show and the other from the ekka in brisbane. i paid for both ( they’re great! not as great as my apple peeler/corer, but it’s hard to compete against that.

    3) i had thought i was nuts thinking that my dog’s and cats’ paws smelled like corn chips. you’ve admitted they do online. although this is not peer-reviewed, i’ll take it as evidence that i’m not nuts! thank you!

  • http://www.ladygypsy.net Kimberly

    I love that bat-poop crazy smile you have going.

    And cats do get wiggy about being able to look outside. Back in the miniblind days, mine would stick their heads through the slats just to see out. I have shades now.

  • http://photographerlori.my-expressions.com/index.html Photographer Lori

    You know I love you…BUT….what if she really is crazy and needs meds and knows something is wrong with her and can’t help herself. What if she really does have a mental condition…Now if she’s just a nasty old crow, then she’s not crazy and doesn’t have a mental condition and you’re giving the real crazy people a bad name. If that is the case, then just call her a nasty bitch. If she IS crazy, maybe you could make her some cookies with some of your meds in them and see if that helps her. :)

    I’m just saying is all…. :)

  • LisaC

    A Very Dooce Christmas

    by Chuck
    (with apologies to, uh, whoever wrote that partridge in a pear tree song)

    Six weeks before Christmas
    My true loves shook at me
    Seven sleeping aids
    Aaaan-TI Psychotics
    Four antidepressants
    Three anti-anxieties
    Two anti-seizures
    And a great big jar of stool softener!

  • http://www.psychiatrictimes.com/p000425.html Master of the Obvious

    Cats like looking outside.

    The more cats you have the more blinds have to be open to the outside world.

    Crazy people like the blinds closed and are made crazier by any evidence of the outside world.

    Crazy people love cats, lots of cats. Hoarding cats. Reading the minds of cats.

    Cats like to observe.

    Crazy people think they are being watched.

    God is torturing crazy people by making them love cats.

  • Amanda B.

    I’m actually kind of jealous of Beth. I wish we had crazy yellin’ in the yard neighbors.

    In my single days I had a neighbor who got drunk and fell down the stairs of the appartment complex once or twice a week. The bottom of the stairs ended at my front door. So every Thursday or so I’d hear, “And another gd thing woman! You’d better be here when I get back!” Door slams, mutter mutter…then blam blam blam, “oh shit!” blam blam blam, “my shoe!” blam blam blam blam. Silence.

    So I’d walk out and Mikey would be there in a pile on the cement. He’d get up, call the stairs a bastard and stumble off down the road.

    Our neighbors now are all nice and quiet and keep to themselves. Boooring.

    P.S. I complement Dooce because she is secretly the third Hilton sister. One day she will reward my loyalty with many, many dollars and power…hahahaha…POW-AH!

  • http://www.kristenhavens.blogspot.com Kristen

    I did the same thing (minus the jig) when some people in my old neighborhood in L.A. put signs on my windshield, and then cones in the space. EVERYONE in that ‘hood had street parking. Anytime anyone tries to claim possession of public land, that person deserves a major spanking and a whole lot of applied annoyance. Good for you.

  • http://photographerlori.my-expressions.com/index.html Photographer Lori

    Hey, wait a second…I love cats…and come to think of it, I do keep windowns open for them to peer outside.

    My husband always says if I didn’t meet him, I’d be the crazy lady in the neighborhood with 50 cats…hmmm, what do you think that means?

    “Damn you for not closing your blinds! My cats! My cats! They need to look out the window! We need our Privacy! You people. You people that should be living in Sandy!” AAAAAUUUURRRRGGGGHHHHHHH CATS, WINDOWS, PRIVATE, CATS, BLINDS, AAAAAUUUURRRGGGHHHHH!!!

  • http://www.muworld.blogspot.com Moon

    i like the red shoes.
    cute.

  • Amanda B.

    Sheryl- your BF’s father sounds like a really “special” guy. I’ve got one of those in my family too.
    Can’t name-names though cause “they” are *always watching me*.

    :)

  • Suzy

    When I was a kid, my best friend’s next door neighbor put a big chain up in front of her house (on a public street) to deter people from parking there. My friends went to the store and bought 10 pairs of the largest, frilliest, pinkest underwear they could find, and neatly pinned a pair to her chain. Each day, they watched from inside their house, giggling as she came out, made a disgusted face and took the pretty undies down. It took only 6 days for her to remove that chain!

  • http://randomandodd.blogspot.com Kristine

    My neighbors called the cops because the hedges in front of my front window were too tall according to the codes. I said, “alright if you want your kids watching me iron my shirt in my bra while they walk to school, keep on calling.” They haven’t called since. They call about me forgetting to take my garbage to the curb on Wednesdays though. They called the cops once because the lady two houses down had a pool put in and the installers using the backho got the ground dirty.
    I live in yuppie hell.
    I dare not go into the endless phone calls about my little dog that barks when she wants in the house after going pee.
    Any idea’s for revenge on this guy?

  • http://floatingflotsam.blogspot.com kai

    Anyone can be first. It’s far harder to be last. Nothing’s more annoying to an ornery grumpy person than a happy person dancing in front of their window. With a baby no less.

  • TheGoat

    Okay, Post #1500

    The last one for today folks!

    And to all a good-nite

  • http://www.wellinked.com Anna

    I did the same thing a few years back when a man put up no parking signs in front of his house on a PUBLIC STREET. I parked my ass there and when he came out of the house hollering at me, I kept walking. He called the police, they came, they took down his signs. Crazy bastard!

  • GRAYGIRL

    We have very “Christian” neighbors across the street -church all the time, home schooled kids, etc. When our kids were little they wouldn’t let their’s play with ours because we were heathen non-believers (I guess). We took great pleasure (and still do) standing in the driveway in only bathrobes, in the middle of the day, wine glass in hand, toasting them while fondling eachother!!!!!

  • http://papernapkin.typepad.com Sheryl (98/306)

    You have to stop bagging on poor Dave, he’s going to get a complex!