Here in this photo she is wearing pink, so please stop sending me email telling me that I don’t dress her in pink enough

  • Fish

    Brigitte: No worries, this is definitely the place to go if you want to sound “assy.”

  • RazDreams

    *(Am I the only one having Daily Posting Withdrawals???)*

  • Jana

    Funny. I wouldn’t let anyone buy pink for my daughter when she was a baby…guess what color she ONLY has to wear now at 7! LOL!

    I also love that she has deodorant and spray in her hands. Who the heck needs toys anyway!!

  • jkegwest

    Seriously. People are mad about pink? It upsets me that something so trivial could upset so many of my fellow Dooce readers. Don’t people have more important things to worry about anymore? I mean, I know we aren’t all thinking of world hunger and global warming every minute of the day, but complaining about a lack or surplus of pink? Sad, folks…

  • Gia on Guam

    I know it was mentioned that those are recognizable Aveda Products but I’m surprised no one’s asked exactly what brand/scent. It’s funny to me how ppl want Dooce’s shoes, couch and shoes.

    Leta is gorgeous in pink and any colour. I think her hair is the perfect shade of red. It’s not in the least bit septic tank poopy red…I would think anything septic tank was more brown and black than red…waaaaait that means I have septic tank hair…. :(

  • Girl.A

    I would really like to see Leta in full-body chainmail. You are such a bad mother that you never put her in chainmail!

    Ok, maybe chainmail would be too heavy for a 10 month old, maybe it would get you arrested by the child police people. My bad.

    I guess it is a good thing you don’t really do whatever we chuckleheads tell you to.

  • Elegant Goose

    Re: Wanting to be first and the idea of vicariously being friends with Dooce.

    I’ve been having a thought about all this stuff too. I also adore this website. I check it a few times every day and post about every other day or as I get a chance (I’m kinda busy what with grad school and student teaching… so it’s not as often as I’d like.)

    Kate said “We’d all like to have a friend as cool as Heather, and we come here to live vicariously…” I don’t know about all of you, but I think we probably all DO have a real actual personal friend as cool as Heather. In fact many of US are probably as cool as Heather. We all have interesting lives, really. Everyone has a story to tell. We all have families we love but who drive us bat-shit crazy. For those with kids they are all adorable and they do ridiculously cute things. Perhaps not everyone’s spouses are as cute with toussled hair and a nice full beard :) but they do things we love and are our heros for some reason or another at some point.

    So what, then, makes this web-place so special? Sure, Dooce is a very cool person, but I’m willing to bet many of us are (we just don’t all have the photo and web skilz). The thing that makes this place interesting and unique is more than just the coolness- it’s the goddamned naked honesty. To have a woman finally say that having a kid is not always wonderful bliss. To say, hey, my body got tore to hell and back having that kid, and no, my mommy instincts don’t keep me from doing stupid shit sometimes but you know what? Despite that I’m going to do it and it’s wonderful and messy and beautiful and the messiness makes it all the more beautiful because it’s fucking real.

    That’s why I love you and your family, Heather. I don’t know you besides what you show me on this website but you share something real enough that we all keep coming back for more. It’s not a perfect neat little miracle. It’s big and boisterous and scary and beautiful. Keep up the good goddamn work.

  • Elegant Goose

    uh, sorry about the long-ass post again.

  • Amanda B.

    Girl A.- To quote Fish, “You are funny!”

    The thing I hate about the internet is that people often think they have a license to be mean or say whatever they want. It’s as if they think the people on the receiving end of the statement aren’t really people.

    Or maybe they just do it because they can.

    Anyhoo, it really chaps my hide.

  • not “metrosexual” but knows an Aveda product when he see’s o

    Shit, Goose, you made me tear up. I hate that.

  • Shiz

    Well said, Goose!

  • Girl.A

    I know this line is getting old, but it’s just so darn useful…

    Amanda B., re: chapping of your hide, I think they have a cream for that.

    Click on my name, I dare ya.

  • annie

    she has a twin

  • Amanda B.

    Oh my! #2 is my all time favorite!

  • Amanda B.

    But then wait…oh, my eyes! My eyes!

  • Girl.A

    Oui. C’est Harley-Rendezvous. Parlez-vous french?

    I think she was the belle of the “ball”. Her coozie reads: Big Momma, non?

  • Shiz

    That’s soooooooo disurbing.

  • Gia

    I kinda thought the vaccum thing was a good idea! (Does that out me in the stupid category too?)

    And I love Leta’s hair. I had mine colored just like it today! :)

  • Mari

    I can so relate to your reaction to the fleas. Our dog was recently diagnosedw with, and I quote, “a RAGING FLEA INFESTATION.” The horror! I itched for days.

  • Shiz

    Raging fleas?

  • Cate

    Dooce – I love that I can always count on you for a laugh. Chuck stories are the best. I totally want to babysit for you guys so I can experience the Chuck and Leta Circus of Cuteness for myself.

  • CA

    Now, I may be in the minority here, but I don’t find the idea of vacuuming a dog that odd. I mean, my friend’s mom does it weekly. Granted, the dog grew up with it, but hey, keeps the hair off the couch, really! Heather, you’re just more brilliant than most. Really.

  • Tracy

    After the 4th time my daughter came home with lice, I actually DID vacuum her head. Forget the sprays, lotions and potions sold at the store — they did not work. The old nozzle to the head trick was our last desperate measure. Seriously. And it appears to be the only thing that actually worked.

  • coskel

    ok, well im ALLERGIC to flea bites, and yes, fleas will bite humans (you get lovely little red dots at the ankles, unless you are ME, and then you get massive huge hives…so Dooce, dear, I not only get every flea product on the planet, the cat gets multiple baths (I have the permanent scars to prove it) and then you have to repeat every 21 days against the eggs…oh, the eggs.
    Oops, sorry, flashback. Love ya’ll, kel

  • fleas

    Most fleas in an infestation do not reside on the animal.

    A typical flea population consists of 50 percent eggs, 35 percent larvae, 10 percent pupae and 5 percent adults. Completion of the life cycle from egg to adult varies from two weeks to eight months depending on the temperature, humidity, food, and species. Normally after a blood meal, the female flea lays about 15 to 20 eggs per day up to 600 in a lifetime usually on the host.

    Adult fleas cannot survive or lay eggs without a blood meal, but may live from two months to one year without feeding. There is often a desperate need for flea control after a family has returned from a long vacation. The house has been empty with no cat or dog around for fleas to feed on. When the family and pets are gone, flea eggs hatch and larvae pupate. The adult fleas fully developed inside the pupal cocoon remains in a kind of “limbo” for a long time until a blood source is near. The family returning from vacation is immediately attacked by waiting hungry hordes of fleas. (In just 30 days, 10 female fleas under ideal conditions can multiply to over a quarter million different life stages.)

    Newly emerged adult fleas live only about one week if a blood meal is not obtained. However, completely developed adult fleas can live for several months without eating, so long as they do not emerge from their puparia.

  • Shiz


  • JP

    well said, Goose…

  • tiffi

    I once lived in a 400-square-foot apartment with three large dogs (see, dooce? you are not the only one confessing stupidity to the Internet). one week I boarded them while I was on vacation, and I returned on a Sunday night before I could pick them up. upon returning to my empty apartment, I walked over to the ancient gas heater and fumbled with it a bit as I always had to, to get it on.

    meanwhile, my ankles were itching and I kept scratching them. the itching got worse and worse. I looked down and my legs WERE COVERED WITH A FILM OF LIVING, BITING FLEAS. without my three dogs to munch on, they had resorted to attacking me.

    thank GOD I had a can of flea-bomb in the apartment and a friend’s house to spend the night at. I vowed never to slack off on flea control again. here in florida, it’s a constant battle.

  • A loyal reader

    Dear Dooce,

    Please consider screening your advertisers more thoroughly.

    After years of searching, I thought I had finally found it — right on your front page. The Best Diaper Rash! Imagine my disappointment when I discovered that Pinxav’s website does not, in fact, offer “The Best Diaper Rash,” but rather, the exact opposite: a diaper rash treatment.

    The Pinxav people should be ashamed — I hope you will take this up with them.


    A loyal reader

  • victoria

    I used to vacuum our dog all the time. She would shed heavily in the spring and I would suck up shedding fur directly from her body, instead of waiting for it to fall to the floor. She didn’t seem to mind (she got a little scratching along with the vacuuming because I would rub her with the scrubbing attachment to dislocate loose fur better).

  • acb

    I still vacuum my dog. In fact, when I vacuum, he thinks it is time for a grooming. Being vacuumed is quite possibly one of his favorite things in the world, and he does a little dance for it. Henry (the dog) also does little dances if you give him a stale bagel. He’s really quite graceful for a 70 pound bulldog. *sigh* I can’t wait to go home and see him… finals are over in four days!

  • Colleen from NJ

    Amen to Elegant Goose above.

    Not metrosexual:
    I see… kind of like me wishing I could be a High Maintenance Chick… but who has the time and the money? Not me.

    You know, vaccuums are underrated. I borrowed my dad’s Oreck XL once. I was in Vaccuum Heaven.

  • Chris

    That child prodigy is reenacting a scene from Cocktail. When she pours, she reigns!

  • George Lover

    fleas: TMI

    And. I dream of the day I can work “deconstruct” into my vocabulary.

  • George Lover

    Dyson beats Oreck hands down.

  • jessica

    about the fleas:

    you would freak if you saw the cockroaches in Texas.

  • Sue From Ohio

    I have a Dyson Animal and I’ld put money on using the mini-turbine head to clean fleas off Chuck…if that mini-scraper/suction tool doesn’t work, nothing will—hell, I’ld put money on just running over Chuck with the whole contraption as long as it didn’t harm Mr. Chuckles ;) I could do it to my mastiff but she’s about 50x’s Chuck…READ: I DO NOT WANT TO HARM CHUCK OR ANY DOG!

  • romy

    anyway, great story.
    ****GREAT**** (that’s four stars and all caps) picture.

  • leah

    my mom dressed me in sensible grey wool jumpers, red turtlenecks, kilts, and i had bowl cuts until i was 8 and i was routinely denied frilly dresses and pink clothing and i turned out ok! nearly!

  • Laura

    My dog used to be terrified of the vaccum until one day I played it up like it was the Best Thing Ever that I was about to start vaccuming. He got all excited and danced around Boxer-style.

    When I turned on the machine he started pouncing at it. Now his favorite thing is to bite the crevice tool and get his cheeks sucked in.

    And yes, I vaccum him with the brush tool. :)

  • Marti

    The horror!!
    I’d rather talk about poop than fleas.

  • Colleen from NJ

    Is this true about the Dyson?

  • Scully

    She’s pretty in pink.

    Okay, I’m sure it’s been used.

    Thank you for the flea story. You are funny.

  • Rebekah

    I have the purple Dyson Animal too and it rocks. I am now thinking of using it on my kids.

  • Anita

    The vacuum story is hysterical!

    Our cats run from it, but our dog attacks it. He’s protecting us from the evil noise.

    But if we ever tried to actually suction him!! He’s a long haired collie; it just wouldn’t be good.

  • Amanda B.

    Oh Chuck. Oh Heather. Oh CHUCK.

    Oh…dear…god. The horror.

  • Amber

    Ugh. I hate fleas. They are so horrible. But there is something WORSE than fleas, Dooce, and do you know what that is?

    Ticks. Oh gosh. Ticks.

    They are the most disgusting horrible little creatures that *shudder* grace our pets’ skin.

    The dog I used to have never had ticks (but oh the horror! He did have fleas!) but I have seen people who owned dogs with ticks. Ick. They are so nasty.

    Don’t feel bad about the vacumn. It seems like a PERFECTLY good idea to me…except, now that I think about it, it would take FOREVER to suck the little snots off of the dog.

    I don’t think you hurt Chuck. You probably just scared him.

    As for me, I used to dress my dog in pretty pink boys and he hated it. I think I mentally scarred him.

    Have fun and don’t worry, you aren’t the ONLY one who would try to vacumn your dog.

    Love in Christ,
    Amber <><

  • stella

    My roomate’s dog tries to eat the swiffer dry stick.

  • jes

    your vacuum/flea crisis induced me with a silent, body-shaking giggle. i will still be giggling tonight, as i lay in bed with my sleeping husband, and he will ask me to stop shaking the bed.

  • Laurie G.

    We just bought a little ski place, and both the dog and my husband got fleas the first time we stayed there. Oops.

    Was I wrong to laugh at a grown man getting up at 2:00 in the morning to take a flea bath?