Egg Nog Latte

  • closet metrosexual

    Fish: So you’re planning to be a grandfather in sixteen years?

  • kristine

    to the parents of young children with no teeth yet-
    Make sure you brush those teefers the second they come in or you will be bending over for the dentist every month.

    Second…if your child does have teeth, keep them away from little girls named Emily.

    My daughter and Emily, the child with the thickest skull in 1st grade, collided and my 6 six year old is going to be singing, “All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth”

    Does George! have dental insurance because if he does, I WANT TO MARRY HIM!

  • Carol

    Bummer about the teeth! Were they baby ones? Or permanent?

    I don’t brush my youngest’s enough. I just gotta get him a headlock and go to it regardless of screaming and kicking.

    I’m always afraid of my kids knocking out their teeth.

  • LadyBug

    Kristine, were they baby teeth or permanent?

  • DG

    >>Does George! have dental insurance because if he does, I WANT TO MARRY HIM!

    Words Fail.

  • Fish

    Well … I mean … er … stop it!

    *pouty face*

    It’s not nice to pick on a guy who had exactly 2 hours of sleep in the past week.

    *deliberately changing subject:*

    Toad/GMM: I think I was in the top 13 today (too tired to check), and I didn’t say anything about being first, just that GEORGE looked a bit hungover. Currently, however, I think GEORGE is trying to get up the nerve the ask out the waitress.

    You go, George!

  • Yawwwwwwn

    If you think reading “I’m first” is boring, then you should know what it feels like to read about people whining about people saying “I’m first”.

    Seriously though, why should anyone set the rules on a comments list that they do not own? Why do you think your paradigm is better than theirs?

    Do you think you will be able to change the behavior of other people by making those comments? And if not, is there a point…

  • LadyBug

    Okay, I can’t resist….

    The only thing more boring than reading about people whining about people saying, “I’m first!”, is reading about how boring it is to read about people whining about people saying, “I’m first!”

    I’m pretty sure that didn’t make sense, but I’ve had exactly two more hours sleep than Fish has.

  • kristine

    baby teeth, THANK GOD. They were not ready to come out though, which sort of freaks me out. She’s loving this though. She’s got MY bed, MY tv and My remote and is in MY room yelling, “MOM, HOW MUCH YOU THINK THESE TEETH ARE GONNA GET ME!?”

    I’m so mean. Now would be the time to tell her about the tooth fairy. oh yes, i am that mean.


  • Carol

    *allowing Fish to change subject*

    George does look like he’s about to pass out into his LumberJack Breakfast Plate no matter how many lattes he’s had.

  • Jenie

    Off the first subject (which I was today…so HA!!…shush, you’re just jealous!) =o) (I’m totally just hate mail!) LOL
    Anyways…just a funny thing today, I clicked over onto blurbomat and both google ads were for colon cleansing. Somehow, I found that extremely funny!

  • LadyBug

    Kristine, my (now 6 year old) daughter busted out one of her top front teeth over a year ago. It was soooo not ready to come out…came out root-and-all; it was about an inch long! Ack! We’re still waiting on the damn permanent tooth to come in.

  • LadyBug

    Oh, and she got 20 quarters from the tooth fairy for that one. (But only ’cause she busted it out, root and all. Normal payout from the tooth fairy is 4 quarters.)

  • Sheryl

    Ladybug LMFAO.
    *So tempting. Must…resist…replication…*

    Shew…scroll, baby. We could get into a feedback loop from hell on this one that would be extremely funny to some but would piss the hell out of others.

  • Fish

    Ah yes, the lumberjack breakfast special. Does every greasy spoon have the same dish? In Wisconsin, the name is sometimes switched up with “The Northwoods,” but the concept is the same.

  • kristine

    My other daughter, going on 12, is waiting for the other front tooth to come down, the dentist said they will have to ‘manually’ pull it down. When she heard that she almost passed out. Then they showed me how much that costs…and I passed out.
    Why does dental work have to be so expensive? I would understand if my children BIT the dentist and there was a chance of the dentist catching a bit of our crazy, but they just sit there like good little girls (I typed that without laughing)

  • Sissychong

    GEORGE!!!!…….of France!

  • LadyBug

    Jenie! I saw those Google ads at Blurbomat this morning, and when I clicked over there just now, they were, “Are you clean inside?” and “What’s stuck in your gut?”
    What a scream!
    And, did anyone else see the link for Colonblow on the Dave Barry blog?

  • Kano

    Yes, I do think I can change the behavior of the people I post about.

    Usually after I post something they turn beet red……..slam the keyboard…curse me for stepping on their Utopian turf……and then the veins begin to bulge on their foreheads as they stammer around asking why does Dooce let this A**hole post things here?. So I ask you did that change them or not?

  • Todd

    “You sit around on your spotty, loathsome behinds squeezing blackheads….not caring a tinker’s cuss about the struggling artists. You excrement. You whining hypocrytical toadies with your color TV sets and your Tony Jacklin golf clubs….”

    I have no idea how I remember that from a Monty Python album…

  • LadyBug

    Yeah, Kristine, mine (giggle) just sit (chuckle) there like (snort) good little (guffaw)…shit, I can’t do it. Last time my almost-8 year old had anything done, they had to put that plastic-mouth-holder-opener in there. (I’m pretty sure that’s the technical name for it.)

  • Emily

    Todd, I thought you were talking about Kano.

  • Kano

    Hey! that was a good one Emily….I like the Kano analysis too.

  • Sheryl

    The problem with the Lumberjack Special: When you park said special it feels like you are giving anal birth to a lumberjack.

  • Carol

    Kano – Love Ya!! But I think you’re overestimating your ripple-effect on this here little pond. It’s nice to hear a dissenting opinion every now and then. But I wonder how truly dissenting you are. Because you are here.

  • Carol

    Sheryl – LOL.

  • kristine

    I like, “Mr. Feel Funny Mask” they gave my one daughter when she had her tooth worked on.

    “Mommy, can you see the monkeys?”

    It was my daughters first drug induced trip…and she was like 4 years old.

  • Fish

    MMMM. Yup. Makes me want a big plate of sausages and waffles.

    Sheryl: “park a lumberjack” is WAY better than “pinch a Smeagol.”

  • Smilliam


    Take *that*, you smug bastards at the top.

  • Kano

    No it’s true Carol…..I have this program that allows me to see the person on the other end of their monitors…using the heat source transmitted by their bodies. You should see the expressions on their faces when they read my garbage….Just kidding!
    Nah I just drop by every now and again to carpet bomb the place with a dose of reality….You need the Yin and Yang to keep a well balanced individual…you know.

  • Carol

    Yeah, both sides are good.

    BTW, did you see that really, behind my computer, I’m a huge-ass man sitting in the Fulton County Correction Facility? OK, what is the number on my shirt?

  • Fish

    Ooh, Carol, you so pretty in dat orange jumpsuit.


  • Sarah

    I, for one, do not know how I could manage without Kano’s insight.

    More inspiring than a colon-cleansing bran muffin.

  • Carol

    Come here, Fish. And be my girlfriend.

  • Fish

    Kano: “carpet bomb the throne room” is even better than “anal birth of a lumberjack.”

  • Sarah

    Carol…show me your belly button..

  • Carol

    Sarah… I already am… well, it is kind of hard to see through all my torso hair.

  • Fish


    *rapidly receding running footsteps*

  • kristine

    did any of you CLICK on that colon cleansing thing. I did. Oh dear god the pictures!! and then after it shows you the pictures of what will come out of your ass when you take their products…it says, CLICK HERE TO ORDER.

    Oh hell no! I don’t want see that come out my ass!! Leave it there, it isn’t bothering anyone.

    *heebie jeebie*

  • Carol

    You guys are crackin my shit UP!! But I can’t stand for the 3 year old to watch one more second of tv. and nap time is over. and it’s time to go to the park (Uh, I mean recreation yard) and run the monsters around for a bit.


  • Gia

    Ahhhhhhhhh the clutter!

  • Rebekah

    Carol- I AM PISSING MY PANTS LAUGHING!!! Take that one Kano–
    Oh wait, Can’t we all just get along? :-)

  • Sheryl

    The Colon Blow Project

    “Many people use laxatives to “clear themselves up” or to “stay regular” or, in extreme cases of eating disorders, chronic poopers use them to “lose weight”.

    We wanted to see what all the hype was about. Why has the world fallen in love with poo?

    Some would imply that it is a scandalous attempt by the sewage companies to brainwash us into unwittingly filling their tanks and pocket books with our love and feces.”

  • Be, Oh Be


    but f’real, what’s the deal with that shit?

  • Dr. Johnny Fever

    I want a playdate with George! Let’s go out and get shitfaced, Hor-hay!

  • kristine

    There is a such thing as a ‘love of feces’ and people love poo?

    Where have I been?

  • Girl.A

    U don wanna know

  • Joe

    *stares really hard*



  • mrs. george #2

    gimme some sugar.

    forget the t-shirt idea… george needs to have his own video game!

  • kristine

    Girl A -

    You always have the most relative links!