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Second Cousins

Thinking

The child has taken to eating toilet paper. Now tell me again, why are we wasting money on food?

Another futile attempt to adorn the child in headwear

Sister Susie sitting on a thistle

Leta has been uncharacteristically pleasant this week, calm and even enjoyable to be around. She no longer has a cold, and she’s sleeping peacefully and smiling at every opportunity. Several times this week I have thought to myself, “This, THIS is why people have babies.” This morning she woke up her usual cranky, why did [...]

Splenda!

Thinking

That A+ I was working on in sanity is now looking more like a C-. I have never even made lower than a B+ on anything IN MY LIFE.

Jilted

Chuck has a bad habit of hiding the ends of his rawhide bones underneath the couch or the coffee table. I don’t know if it’s a game that he likes to play with himself or maybe just an instinct to hide the remains of his prey. He often goes back to the couch or the [...]

How long can he hold in the smoke?

Feeling Guilty

For coaxing the dog into smelling a Sharpie marker so much that he started barking in soprano and licking the walls.

How to Annoy Me

Walk in the door after a playdate with your Goddess of Love, Emily, and give me a look that says, “You are not HER, and YOU’LL NEVER BE HER.” And then sulk into the basement for the rest of the day. I’ve got news for you, little buddy: I PAY YOUR BILLS.