View from Danger Park

  • BabyM

    Well, excuse my poor spelling, and my inability to read all 1,000 posts before I posted this morning. Just goes to show, great minds think alike.

  • just wanted to share

    so i work for a sorority – not a member, just an employee – and i’m looking through the magazine of another sorority. on the cover it says “how you look is important.” this is their feature article. Some gems from the feature:

    “If you don’t look great every day, it means that on the day you did look great it was an accident.”


    “A quick look at you can tell an observer if you are classy or common…poor, rich, or somewhere in between…smart, not-so-smart, or without a clue.”

    Huh? Wha…?

    that’s crap, right? tell me i’m not the only one who thinks that is crap.

  • Melanie S

    Kisses, and maybe a little tongue, for:

    Johnny Fever, Closet Metro and my favorite Fish!

    Heather, you’re pictures just scream “home” to me. I envy your happiness and your charming family/home.

  • Carol

    Cm – right on brothah!! I love this place! I can’t tell you what (and all the comments and offshoots) has done for my vocabulary alone! Although I don’t get as much done as I used to.

  • Carol

    just wanted… that is indeed a load of crap.

  • closet metro

    Melanie – Kisses with a little tongue? Wow, thanks, but gimme a minute – I haven’t brushed my teeth yet.

  • Girl.A

    Whew! I’m winded!

    Did someone say “Load of crap??”

  • A

    I always thought that I lived in a pretty clean, unpolluted area and then Dooce posts all of these brilliant blue Utah skies and now I spend my days feeling my lungs blackening.

    p.s. Elegant Goose, sorry, but the Mitten State is definitely in the Midwest. Fish is correct.

  • just wanted to share…MORE

    and there’s this one: “…total lack of beauty aids sends the same message: low self-esteem or ignorance about what is appropriate.” AND a whole section on “Tattoo’s Deadly Little Secret.” Overall message: don’t get one. Hahahha.

    i should quit my job.

    okay, that’s all. i’ll stop with the unrequested, irrelevant information now.

  • Amanda B.

    Metro- you tell em. Some of us can go for 15-20 minutes without checking

    So there.

  • Megan

    Seriously, is this view practically your backyard? Maybe someone’s already asked that, but I’m too lazy to look.

  • Kittie







    SING IT!!!!


  • Fish

    Golly, Melanie … gee whiz.

    *fish blushes*

  • Kristen from MA

    just wanted to share:

    sororities are CULTS! not unlike the mormons…

  • Girl.A

    Ok, who here can “go” for 15-20 minutes?

  • cat

    Ooooh, perty…

  • Weez

    Zwieback, dog biscuit, what’s the difference? Have you tasted those things? THe dog biscuit might even feel good on Let’s gums. Go for it!

  • Kittie

    I belonged to a Sorority in College…I quit after a year of gossip, cat fights and a lot of bumping kitties (if you know what i mean ;-)

  • Kittie

    GIRL.A 15-20 minutes of what?

  • mrs. george #2

    I hate sorostitutes. Whores.

  • Fish

    I once ran in place for fifteen or twenty minutes.

    Mebee that’s what Girl.A means

    Or houla hoops. Maybe that’s it.

  • Carol

    I was in a sorority and loved every minute of it. Maybe it wasn’t the typical experience, but where I went to college, we were friends with whomever we wanted to be friends with, regardless of sorority or not. Just sayin’.

    Melanie – I want a tongue kiss.

  • Cristin

    just wanted…..

    could it be possible that the magazine is a leftover prop from *The Stepford Wives* movie? please? I can’t believe that is a real magazine otherwise. Aren’t college students supposed to be smart? self-aware? or at least aiming themselves in the right direction?


  • Amanda B.

    Girl A.- let’s try 11.5 minutes…ready and wait…

    There is a sorority around here (will not name names) and in order to join the pledges have to march around campus and spank themselves with homemade paddles. It’s super duper.

    Ok- GO!

  • victoria

    “Bumping kitties”??? There’s nothing like the dooce comments page for making me feel clueless.

  • Girl.A

    Ow, my bum is already tired. Wait, what does “go” mean?

  • Kittie

    If you didnt bump kitties in college then you werent in a sorority.

    Bumping kitties = rubbing the clams together = kissing the man in the canoe

  • jes

    “Thinking” never ceases to cause me to chuckle.

  • mrs. george #2

    Ok, I can’t “go” anymore….

    KITTIE! You’re cracking my shit up!

  • just wanted to share

    cristin – i WISH it was a prop from the stepford wives. sheesh. i’m going to take it home and share it with others. and by “share” i mean that i’ll make fun of it in the company of others who can appreciate the humorous, albeit sad, very sad, nature of it.

  • Melanie S

    Boys, you’re welcome for the kisses. Me likey the kisses!

    Girl A., my husband can go all night. Not that that has anything to do with Dooce.

    I can go at least 10 minutes without reading Dooce, sometimes.

  • Amanda B.

    Um, I dunno about that “kittie”. I new plenty of gals in college who had never even ummmm…double clicked their mouse. I doubt that they were involved in a lesbian love fest.

  • Melanie S

    Tongue AND a spanking for Carol!


  • Carol

    OHhhh! Thanks. : )

  • Fish

    Amanda, from what I hear, it takes a lot more clicks than two to access the metadata.

  • Kittie

    The Kitties always came out with my man Jack Daniels came to visit. That stuff is dangerous!

    This one time at band camp….

  • Girl.A

    Yeah, don’t piss Carol off generalizing about sorority girls. There’s always an exception to every rule.

    Even the one that says you must eat pussy. The South is old school – those Cotillions are not Cooter Communions.

  • mrs. holmes

    Did you know when packages get lost in Fedex, they’re sent to Salt Lake City?

  • mrs. george #2

    I’m from the South. And yes, they are.

    But Carol, I’m sure your sorority was full of nice, purehearted girls who were in NO WAY lesbians or sluts. And they probably didn’t wear mini skirts to their 8:00 classes in 50 degree weather, either.

  • Circus Kelli

    When I woke up this morning, I realized I may be reading Dooce too much lately.

    Last night, I had a dream about Heather doing some sort of television commercial advertisement for (of all things!) Hewlett Packard. I also dreamed I was on some sort of “insiders” tour of the whole Blurbodoocery, which was some sort of really large warehouse.

    My first thought, AFTER this ephiphany was “I need to stop by Dooce and post about that…”

    Closet Metro: Me thinks there is a fine line between “community” and “cult”. (of which I am gladly a member!)

  • Fish

    MG2: you make me get all nostalgic and misty eyed. Hardly anyone dresses like that in court.

  • mrs. george #2

    (50 degree weather translates to BUTT FUCKING COLD here in the South)

  • Fish

    The Long Gisland girls who lived in private residence halls and took cabs to class used to dress like that in January in Madison. They were popular.

  • Mrs.Strizzay

    My Gram has a light that looks just like that thing that is sticking up there.

  • Girl.A

    Yeah 50 degrees is not butt fucking weather. Muscles tend to tense up when you’re shivering. Unless you’re into that kind of thing.

  • Carol

    My sorority was not homogeneous. Some were girlie, some not. Some pretty, some not. Half southern, half northern. Mixed races. We were the “cool” sorority and did not play by the rules. There were some lesbians, but no bumping kitties in general. Basically, we didn’t give a fuck what people (other sororities) thought about us. I had the best time there.

  • Carol

    And if we were there right now, I’d rush all of you really hard! : )

  • Amanda B.

    I’m not sure that occasional drunken carpet munching qualifies one as a lesbian.

  • victoria

    Y’all ever read “In The Cut,” by Susannah Moore? Very, very good book — smart, beautifully written, suspenseful (MUCH MUCH better than the flick).

    Anyway, the lead character in “In The Cut” is a professor who’s compiling a dictionary of urban slang.

    Kittie, you’ve missed your calling. “rubbing the clams together,” “kissing the man in the canoe” — I’ve never heard these phrases until your comments and really, had no idea how impoverished my life was without them.

  • just wanted…

    carol –

    do you mind me asking which sorority you belonged to? i’m flipping through all these sorority magazines and am curious to know…or, what’s the name of your sorority magazine?