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Here’s a blurry shot of me kissing my lovely daughter so that you will forgive me for the rest of it

Today Beth and I went on a walk and because both of her boys were in preschool she offered, “I can hold your dog for you.” And then she paused for a moment and continued, “I guess that sounded kind of dirty, didn’t it?” I only realized a couple days ago that the Jack in [...]


What the hell am I doing? What is that smell? How did that get on her face? Am I losing my mind? Why are there cheddar cheese goldfish in my panties? What the HELL am I doing? Oh my god, you didn’t just put that in your mouth, did you? What would it be like [...]

This is what happens when you have to go pee, and the baby insists upon joining you