This is what happens when you have to go pee, and the baby insists upon joining you

  • Jules

    Sarah said at 07:17AM, 02.02.2005:

    What I want to know is, what did she build with all those panty liners? A hat? A plane? What?

    laugh, that reminds me, I have a planner from last year that i didn’t really use much. It’s caled the Bad girl’s date book or something. Anyway, in it, it has instructions on how to color a panty liner black and how to cut it in order to make a disguise or eyebrows, amustache and a beard so that you can spy on people. even has illustrations. I’ll scan it when ig et home from work.


  • Bec

    lol we’ve got a similar photo of one of my brothers, except he’s only got one and he’s wearring it on his head like a hat.

  • Girl.A

    Colleen, ewwwwwwwwwwwwww. I use tp.

    The cat only licks up her own “bladder water”. Off her pussy I would guess.

  • Dang cold…

    Although any bathroom with a beday is a crunchers nirvana. when I get a house I’ll put one of those into the master bathroom sure enough. I’ll take out a loan if I have to.

  • Janis

    Moxie– BTDT but a bit different.

    Hubby and I were lying in bed, cuddling and talking. Kids were up and anxious for us to get up so we could have breakfast.

    Said kids then commence to shooting us with “parachutes” in an attempt to get us moving.

    My son, now almost 20, still turns beet red when I remind him that he thought tampons were parachutes.

    He goes even redder if I bring up how he used to make roads for his hotwheels with panty liners.

    I can make him leave the room by mentioning how he once make full body armor out of them.

    Ahhhhh The joys of parental memories!

  • Jennifyr

    That made me burst out laughing. Classic picture.
    Totally worth having people know you have your camera near the toilet.

  • Jennifer in Kansas City

    She’s just helpin’! :) Did she discover the stick-side, or was she content to just sort them? “mini, medium, maxi, uh, featherbed, uh, body pillow, uh, down comforter, hm, where do we put the mattress-sized ones, mommy?”

  • Marti

    I’ve worked my whole life to be able to poop anywhere. Sometimes it’s still a struggle, but it’s worth the effort. The world is my oyster!

  • Daisy

    My precious baby loves tampons. She likes to bring them out when we have company. It’s super fun!!

  • Marti

    I am frightened by how much I feel at home here.

  • Southern Fried Girl

    OH MY GOD – BABY FEET!!!! How do you not eat them?

  • Mrs.Strizzay

    That paper is just as bad as Charmin. Squeezablely soft sure…
    but so soft it can’t possibly wipe effectivly and then it leaves behind a film. Thanks but no thanks on the TP residue.

  • Colleen from NJ

    Girl.A, would that be bladder water?

  • Dang cold….

    Laying down pipe in a public bathroom is no issue for me. My problem is places that have the single ply, chafe on contact, melt in your hand recycled cheap stuff. Its torture. I admire their vigor in saving the trees but what about my ass? Why not just put the New york times in the stall and have me use that to wipe with?!?!? Idiots!!

  • Bucky Four-Eyes

    Wet tampons stick to the ceiling????

    Wait a sec. . .

    Whoa, you’re right, Colleen! But the maintenance guys are gonna whip my ass now.

  • Cathi

    A lot of you are saying this must have been a deucer, but Dooce has always been pretty forthcoming about the poop.

    My theory is that Leta was happily occupied, so it was some time to catch up on reading.

    My problem lately hasn’t been the bathroom visitations (Kerry will pull out and put away all her tub toys, so it isn’t a problem), but the kitchen. I’ve discovered crayons in the kitchen, and now my cabinets are almost all orange. But at least I’ve gotten some work done. (And I’ll be sure to get the Janet booby cupcakes done for this weekend. Thank you Crayola!!)

  • Colleen from NJ

    Wait until she learns that soaking wet tampons stick to the ceiling.

  • Susannah

    That’s hysterical. A little gift from God! (But I don’t disagree)

  • Leta Eater interviews take place with this animal (still not sure what a groundhog is but Im guessing kinda possum/wombat like) to ask if he did indeed see his shadow??

    sorry but the Ground hog day thing still gets me, although thank you Tiff and Bucky for shedding some light…next big event is Easter and we celebrate with the Bilby, not the bunny…go figure but Im kind like that- if you’re cool with me having my bilby then bunny it up!

    LETA, I COULD EAT HER! Slather butter on those thighs, or some wing sauce and go crazy…but Dooce: whats this? *gasp* she’s sockless?? or are we over that debacle?

    Welcome to Thursday my fellow Ozzies, Im off to bed…everyone else: have a rewarding day!

  • Cristin

    heh heh heh

    you guys are cracking me up! again.

    Heather, too adorable, I need to go dig up some pics of my lil ones committing heinous crimes like stuffing the toilet with ALL of the paper on the roll, and flipping out when they realized that my tampons were not actually markers to use while coloring…..hmmm

    p.s. – HI COLLEEN

  • Moxie

    Just wait till she decides that tampons are best ejected, rocket-like, in the living room.

    While the delivery guy watches in horror.

  • LadyBug

    I’m pretty sure my mom still wipes my sister’s ass. She’s 25.

  • itsme


  • Mrs.Strizzay

    I am so glad my son wipe shis own ass. 2 down 1 to go.

  • Girl.A

    Yeah my baby insists on coming into the bathroom and licking water off my feet.

    But she’s a cat.

  • Trance

    How the hell anyone can possibly poop in a restaurant bathroom is beyond me.

    Mrs. Strizzay: Yesterday my son comes out of the bathroom and says, “Don’t you just love it when there’s no poop on your butt??”

    I’m like, “Yeah, it’s like a little gift from God.”

  • atpanda

    Adorable Leta! Soon she’s going to be old enough to actually use those. Time flies… *sigh*

  • Mrs.Strizzay

    I just hate poo that requires you to wipe until your ass is raw.

  • Amy

    I was reading ‘Leta’s Goddess of Love’ when my two year old son walked into the room and saw Leta and starting screaming gleefully. “Who dat baby?” “That’s Leta.” “Leta! Leta come play in the nowie wit me! Leta! Come wit me!” I tried to explain that Leta lives in Utah and we live in Nova Scotia but I dont think he understood as he is currently putting on his snowsuit to go play with Leta. lol

  • Susannah

    Oh don’t even get me started on the out of town pooping. Can’t do it. And so I’m miserable and to top it off…at my IN-LAWS. And there’s me. Just wanting to poop. Not my husband though, he can go ANYWHERE. Like, in a restaurant bathroom. A fast food restaurant bathroom. Makes me so green with envy. Poop envy.

  • gordon

    my cat has decided that when I am in the shower, she has decided to invite herself into the bathroom and then start meowing at the top of her lungs…scares me half to death…its almost like Pysco (yes she still has her front claws).

  • Trance

    I’m glad it’s not just me. I can’t poop unless I’m alone, and I can only poop in my own toilet.

    I envy the free poopers, man.

  • dollface

    ah yes, what my brother calls Agent of Entropy

  • http://Okie Melanie/Okie

    My mother for years has always told me if I need to get away from life go to the bathroom cry and or scream like she did when raising myself and my two other sisters. Why is it that I have a feeling she was crying and screaming because she was simply in the bathroom with no peace… My Mom needs meds badly.. I hope she doesn’t read the comments today.. Sorry Mom

  • The Wife

    I love the legs. Chubby and adorable.

  • Amy

    I just cleaned up a bunch of stuff like that from my own daughter this morning.
    Shower? by myself? unpossible.

  • kerrie

    I don’t remember what it was like to be able to pee or shower without an audience on the floor. I wonder if I could go on my own now?! Yesterday must have been something in the air, we had tears for over an hour because he didn’t want to go to sleep – and that was both of us crying. I resorted to the drive around in circles idea and he just sat there singing away quite happily and didn’t sleep a wink. What is it with these kids?

    I had a friend whose child thought that her tampax were sweeties and unwrapped one and put it in his mouth – imagine the shock when it just expanded and tasted of cotton wool!! Bet he never did that again..

  • Susannah

    Trance–you are SO not alone. I cannot poop if I even think that my own husband might be able to hear me. If he is in the bedroom and I’m in the bathroom, I’ll turn the water on. I’m sure he thinks I’m weird but it makes me feel better.

  • Pissy Britches

    The only thing that would have made this picture better would be if one of the pads was stuck to her forehead.
    Too freakin cute.

  • ricki

    I think this may have been one of those days Dooce was taking a shit.
    A pee wouldn’t have warranted so much sanitary pad chaos.

  • Amanda B.

    Mmmmm….baby toes. Kisskisskiss.

    She looks like she’s in the middle of her morning Pilates routine. Let’s see how many people say that today.

    Whoops, Matt beat me to it!

  • Trance

    My kid still paces outside of the bathroom and chats with me while I’m in there, prompting, “I AM TRYING TO USE THE BATHROOM FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY!”

    Not only that, but my cat sticks her paw under the door and bats at my foot.

    I get no peace.

    I imagine Heaven as one big beautiful bathroom with NO DOORS.

  • piousbetty

    Your house always looks really clean.

  • honestyrain

    love that flooring! love it! i am going to bookmark this photo because that flooring would be perfect for my kitchen and bathroom on the main floor.

    my 19m old daughter is still an utter pain in the ass about getting into the bathroom when ANYONE goes in there and flips out if you won’t let her in.

    it’s not over for a while, i’m saying.

  • sleepingmommy

    I had a cousin who when he was a young boy was looking for bandaids for a scrape. He found his mom’s panty liners and used one of them.

  • Bucky Four-Eyes

    Hot teabags for everyone!

    (Well, that used to go over well when I’d yell it from the stage, anyway)

  • Bucky Four-Eyes

    At least she’s not licking the toilet like my “baby” does when he visits me in the bathroom.
    Of course, my “baby” is a dog.

    Your mileage may vary.

  • Brandi K

    I always knew you had a Carefree spirit. It seems Leta does too!

  • megan

    you even bring your camera to the toilet?? impressive! LOL

  • Kenny

    Holy poop, that’s a lot of comments!