This is what happens when you have to go pee, and the baby insists upon joining you

  • Fish

    She either tore that stuff out in record time, or you reaaaaaally had to take a leak, cause that’s a big old mess.

  • Bucky Four-Eyes

    This is better than reading tea leaves!

  • Circus Kelli

    These stories are great!

    Kids and pets — God’s remedy for seriousness.

    When Punkin got into the box of ‘liners, she would pull one out of the box, stare at it for a moment, then slowly pull another one out of the box. I used a very serious voice and told her “those are feminine hygiene products”. She looked up at me with a wonderous expression and said “Oooooo” before going back to her reverent inspection of said items.

  • Girl.A

    Did someone say teabag??

  • red

    PANTY LINERS! oh the joy!!

  • Marti

    Imagine what I poo on a bad day.

  • Chris

    Leta, you’ll see enough of those in the future!

  • Beth

    Oh my GOD, how funny! Great shot!

  • Dang cold…


    When I was a wee lad I found my mothers dispenser which she used to apply spermicidal foam. I was pretending it was a ray gun when she caught me with it.

    Have a nice day all!!

  • closet metro

    Marti – did you poo a smiley face?

  • WIcked H

    Jeez, don’t let that designer from Trading Spaces see this picture. Otherwise she may use panty liners in her next design…

    Curious Leta sure looks happy :-)

  • Marti

    You should always look before you flush; you need to know what kind of day you’ll have.
    I’m having a great day.

  • Goose

    Maybe she’s ready to move on from diapers.

    Everyone’s already said it, so this is kinda redundant, but you do have the most adorable frog in the world.

  • jules

    lol Aussie, that rawks! i wish they showed cool ads here, but god forbid we friggin offend anyone in the least bit!

  • *AGK*

    Just wait until she comes out when you have company wearing one on her head, or when she puts one on as a band-aid. Or decorates the bathroom with them and you don’t know and then you have guests! Good times…

  • Trance

    Am I the only person who totally can’t poop with ANYONE in the room, even my own flesh and blood?

    I feel like such a dick for confessing this, but I have locked my own child out of the bathroom in order to poop.

    *shame shield*

  • Dea

    Yeah, my daughter calls those things Mama’s diapers. Little does she know what I used one dark night when my supply of “diapers” ran out and hers were so handy…

  • Charlotte

    My husband can schedule his poops. He just decides when it’s convenient for him in his day, and, boom there you go.

    Me, when I need to poo, I have to go NOW. There is no forewarning, just instant urgency. I’m very jealous of hubby’s ability to schedule.

  • Cheryl

    What a natural woman!! That is the first thing that I look for when I enter a bathroom… Leta is a girl after my own heart!

  • yvonne

    that totally reminds me… I’m out of pads.

  • andrea

    Reminds me of a time I was making out with my BF (I was still living at home) … I heard my dog going on a rampage in the living room. After awhile I got up to see what was going on. He pulled a HUGE box of pads out from underneath the bathroom sink and had completely shredded it.

    Pads, more dead than alive, were scattered all over the house. I was mortified, to say the least. My boyfriend was speechless.

    Ah, to be a teenager again.

  • Mrs.Strizzay

    I feed bad for Heather not being able to poo and all. I have had a LOT of the disappearing poo happening to me. Its starting to freak me out, I need to see the evidence that I went.

  • alyssa

    Just wait until she actually needs to use one of those!

  • closet metro

    All these people asking if Dooce was pooping. Don’t they know that the queen doesn’t poop more than a few times a month? It’s only the 2nd of February, she may not drop one ’til Valentine’s Day.

  • AgMommy

    Ahhhhh, remnants of pregnancy

  • Evil Stepmother

    My HUSBAND, while we were engaged and I was taking a bath, came in to talk to me. He put a tampon in the water to see what it would do and was amazed. He asked if it really got that big, so I explained to him that the anatomy does restrict expansion to a degree, and that if it had to absorb that much volume, I’d be dead.

    Wasn’t a child, unless you’re counting mental age. He may like the body armor idea.

    Of course, by that point, the mystery’s gone and the farting and burping may commence.

    Dooce, did she discover the sticky end? Because I will pay you a dollar for a shot of one of those stuck to Chuck by Miss Leta.

  • The Wife

    At least she’s getting used to them now. She’ll hate them later. Next time you put her in the tub give her a few of them. The float like a boat! Use tampons for torpedos.

  • Mrs.Strizzay

    Thanks, that was the abridged version. LMAO

  • Shailyn

    I dont really have much to say other than the obvious… Leta is adorable, and I have NEER been this high on the comments before SWEEEET!!!! Now I must go Nanny another adorable child….. Good luck with the sleep thing Dooce!!!

  • Annejelynn

    upon closer inspection, I use the very same panty liners –

  • Stephen McKenna

    How ‘carefree’.

  • CanadianAmy

    And Strizz, I just read your blog about your son’s birth. Awesome.

  • cee

    heee heeee! Ah the fun days of “nothing stays in its place anymore….”

  • Aussie

    That photo is just divine!!

    One of Jules’ comments reminded me of a tampon add we had in Australia recently: A woman is going through her purses and drawers and cupboards looking for something, and when she finally gives up and is about to go to the shops, she walks into the living room. There, she finds the cat surrounded by tampons with her boyfriend/husband dangling another in front of its face saying “Here kitty! Mousey mousey!”

    classic :o )

  • Jeni Reno

    Now, that’s goooooood stuff!

  • ricki

    All that during a pee?
    You sure you weren’t taking a shit?

  • Alexandrialeigh

    Wow, Heather — Her hair is SO RED in that picture!

    I am so jealous. I always wanted red hair.

  • Fish

    The urinal here at work is one of those with a flushing mechanism. There are persons here who, when using said urinal, feel the need to flush “mid-stream,” so to speak.

    Yeah, “shitmist” is bad, but “pissmist” is a close second.

  • sweetney

    this photo looks as though you caught her in the middle of performing a show-stopping musical number entitled “that not-so-fresh-feeling.”

  • Mrs.Strizzay

    I don’t know how people can even wear pads, other than a pantyliner to catch a srip or two.

    Those things suck bad. Ugh. Might as well strap a stinky wet pillow to your crotch and waddle around.

  • beachgal

    Man, she’s anxious to learn about periods, isn’t she? What great toys those must have made. Did she get upset when you cleaned up the mess?

  • CanadianAmy

    I agree, Strizz. Pads are like torture.

  • maria

    oh so cute! thanks for the laugh!

  • the niffer

    Heh. You said fecal.

    I’ve been waiting for someone to hijack L7′s song “Shit List” and turn it into Shitmist. Any takers?

  • jules

    you mean everyone doesn’t take their d70 peeing? I do.


  • Ricki

    am i first?

    you are so cool

  • Matt in London

    Looks like she’s practising gymnastics…..’and stretch…’ etc etc

  • closet metro

    Niffer, I wish it was me that you were missing, not the shitmist.

    “You complete me” should not be said to fecal particles.

  • melantha

    You are so going to pin that to your wall when she’s 13 and wants to bring boys over to the house.

  • Libraryhill

    Girl.A and Fish – you’re killing me (whiping tears).