He could hear the mailman walking over from next door which means TREAT IS WALKING OVER TO OUR HOUSE. TREAT. TREAT. JUST GIVE ME THE FUCKING TREAT.

  • Zach

    You see, there in lies the bitch about google ads. You bring up “Jesus”, “Mormon”, or fucking the “Mother Marry” and BAM! A big fucking advertisement for LDSPLANET.COM is on your site.

  • Nathan Logan

    Oh yeah, and my blog is mentioned BEFORE YOURS in the story! EAT IT!


  • Mrs.Strizzay

    The sad thing is by the time I look back at my “word” I forgot what the hell it even says.

  • Dr. Johnny Fever

    Don’t listen to those dipshit Biritsh journalists, Heather. They all have bad teeth and drink warm beer.

  • Nathan Logan

    Sheesh, this place is hopping these days. I guess that’s what happens when you’re a good writer with an astute sense of humor…

    Anyway, I thought you may want to see another article regarding your site…

    I pointed the writer in your direction and he really likes your site now. It paid off for me because he also mentioned my blog in there (traffic has increased .002%). The beauty of the article? It’s NOT ABOUT YOU LOSING YOUR JOB _and_ it mentions you being a SAHM. Not bad.

    By the way, although I coded the backend of that site, I take ZERO responsibility for its design.

  • chahn

    Heh. Chuck has the same look that my dogs had last night when a bit of birthday cake hit the kitchen floor. They aren’t allowed in the kitchen so they just sat there staring at it until the cat waltzed in and ate it.

  • andreabt

    I can see pictures again! Whatever you did to change it, THANK YOU!!!

  • Mrs.Strizzay

    Listen Metro, YMBPGATBTIEWIS MMkay

    Yes Fish you got that right. My poor poor husband. *smirk*

  • eddo

    Heather, I love chuckles so much I want to steal him! However, I am also in LOVE with your Fireplace, if you could take a series of fireplace pictures from different angles, and lighting- with fire, w/o fire etc. Then I would really appreciate it. I have one picture of chuckles in lights and the fireplace is in teh background and I LOVE IT!!! I would have bought your house just for the Fireplace.

    Sorry to hear that you are dead.

  • moose

    I never realized Chuck’s neck was so loooong. Chuck’s cousin:

  • leslie in pa

    Same here with the images alison! I am so happy I no longer have to shut my Norton’s firewall off to view the images!

    Makes me want to hump my monitor!!

    Thanks Dooce!

  • L’aura

    Let’s just say….it’s a bong ~Jerri Blank

  • Alison

    As a Limey, the British press I wouldn’t say over the top, unless its the tabloids or people who obviously don’t know the meaning of words. Have you ever read the Times? The Telegraph? Believe me, there’s nothing melodramatic about extensions of the establishment.

    Anyway, am so so so sooooo happy! It seems that I can finally access the pictures on here again, after a long hiatus. No viewing to be had in Firefox or IE. What did you do? Whatever, the pictures are back! In celebration, I’ve just gone through the archives. Overall impression: CUTE!

  • Gooooder

    dooce is everywhere

  • Cristin

    The Author, Metro, GirlA and Mrs.s, you guys cracked me up today.

    Thanks. I needed that.

  • Courtney

    I would say you are less of a disease and more of a rapidly speading new drug. It’s great all the good feelings and none of the smack kick backs.

  • moose

    WTF Are You Two Talking About?

    Six Undereducated Wiseacres Undulating Assininely Simply Love Never Giving Thought?

  • kat
  • kim

    The mailman gives him treats EVERY DAY? I can’t help but wonder if he didn’t have a horrible dog experience at some point, so he bribes them all to behave or something.

    My parents’ dog doesn’t react to the mailman. However, he does get all excited at the bank (which always gives dog treats) and the drive-thru Starbucks (who does give dog treats, although not every time). I’m sure that he thinks that this is actually the point of such windows, to spoil him repeatedly, as many times as a human is willing to drive him around.

  • The Monkey

    Nine Monkeys Itching Friends’ Inner Orifices

  • Jaime

    At first when I read the google ad for Mormon such and such…I read “An open forum for Mormons seeking LSD”
    I giggled and reread the sentence, and it wasn’t nearly as funny. :(

  • Gooooder

    GirlA -

    Dooce A.D.

    so clever, i laughed out loud.

    woot to chuck friday

  • closet metro

    Wow, Uppercase GOD, speaking directly to me. I feel so, well, hungry, actually, since I haven’t eaten anything yet today. But also renewed in my faith and all of that crap too. Thanks Uppercase GOD.

  • closet metro

    Strizz – what is NMIFIO?
    need more insurance for incriminating oral?

    now my inner foot itches owie?

  • GOD’s PR flack

    GOD’s been updating his customer service department to give better, individualized customer service during this lenten season.

    No one really liked the celestial voice mail, anyway

  • brit

    Well, you maybe dead, but your still fucking funny.

  • Mrs.Strizzay

    Metro did you not see my NMIFIO reply? Helloooooo

  • The Author f/k/a Fish

    Strizz: NYMPHO response?

  • Uppercase GOD




  • closet metro

    TUCGICF – Thank Upper Case God It’s Chuck Friday.

  • Mrs.Strizzay

    Yea Heather, you have a LOT of wood in your house. Very Amish-esque. Kinda scary.

  • Mrs.Strizzay


  • carolina

    Chuck is awesome! btw, your bookcases are great!

  • moose

    Metro, Striz: WTFAYTTAA?

  • Mrs.Strizzay

    Metro: NMIFIO

  • anonymous

    He looks like he’s stuffed:).

  • Carrie

    Oh how I love Chuck Fridays! WOOF!!

  • Girl.A

    DOOCE A.D.
    (after demise)

  • Mrs.Strizzay

    Metro : WTFDUJATM?

  • Alena

    Wow.. I can’t get over that super-intense stare of Chuck’s. I can practically feel him quivering from here. Just look at how wide his eyes are!

    And mailmen give treats? Really? Is this everywhere, or just in more rural/suburban areas?

  • Mary

    I was thinking the same thing as shellibells (waaay up there somewhere): Your mailman gives TREATS?? My mailman folds things in half that say “DO NOT BEND” and tosses my packages up the stairs at me. Which, unfortunately, is an improvement on my last mail carrier, who once decided I had moved (not sure why, she just decided) and returned all my mail to senders. So really: Lucky, lucky you. And LUCKY CHUCK!! RUFF!

  • RazDreams
  • Evil Stepmother

    Dooce: Killed for this Website in 2002

    Dooce: From the GRAVE

    Dooce: Highly contagious, may cause itching and burning

    Happy Chuck Friday! Does the mailman bring a treat, or is he the treat? Or are you a bad Dog Mama who lets her dog, like, eat junk mail and the Dog Protective Services should take him ASAP because you are selfish and only have a dog to have anecdotes for your website?

  • Andrea in Canada

    Now THAT’S a dog who is on the ball!:)And a handsome one at that…look at that stature!

    Happy Chuck Friday Armstrongs and everyone.

  • closet metro

    Strizzay – TUCGICF

  • Dr. Laura’s Worst Nightmare

    Like Torie of the 8:15am post, I too am viewing your page on my laptop without messing with Norton. Es milagro!

    I will, however, miss messing around with Norton, that sexy thing.

    Heather, now that you’re dead, I plan to channel your spirit via Ouija Board at our next Purse Party. We’ll present your ghost with the fake Marc Jacobs ‘Stella’ bag.

  • mg2

    J.B. gives good B.J. Signed, J.B. -Jerri Blank

  • SpuriousPlum

    Bug eyes…Dialated pupils… Yep, there’s definitely food involved.

    What a handsome Chuck-a-luck.

  • Girl.A

    The british press is famously over-the-top melodramatic about everything.

    Except, perhaps for The Economist.

  • Sarah

    I’m definitely feeling burning sensations and am extremely uncomfortable.
    It must be spreading!

    Be afraid…be very afraid…doocilitis is coming!