The dude with the glasses ripped it on the slopes

  • Mrs.Strizzay

    My baby likes to play with socks.

  • Michelle Brady

    Wow, top 100! AND I’m late today? What did everybody else say? I want to be part of the conversation!

  • Ern

    re: Trance awhile back–I don’t usually save my poop up, but occasionally I don’t go on vacation. But when I come back, I just have a normal sized poop. It isn’t like 4 days’ worth at all. WHERE DID MY POOPIE GO? Is that why I gain weight on vacations? Is THAT what’s in my saddlebags? Poopy saddlebags?

  • the niffer

    that Andrea – If we do it nekkid I might get an iPod from Closet Metro. Do you want me to negotiate one for you, too?

  • Evil Stepmother

    Hey, no fair on the super-early! Not that I’m ever first, but at least today I can blame it on Dooce.

    So Eugene Levy-looking guy really showed off, huh? Who’da thunk it?

  • cathi

    To all autism trolls: there’s a special on NBC right now (eastern/central) on it.

  • that-andrea

    My cat’s breath smells like cat food.

  • smacks

    He sure looks like he could rip it. As in Faaaaarrrrrt!

  • Annejelynn

    it’s allLLL about the poop

  • that-andrea

    Well YEAH! Nekkid is the greatest!

  • Laurie

    I have somehow developed a milk allergy in the past couple of months, yet I’m still envious of gallons of milk for 2.50.

  • cathi

    Mamaramma – I missed that smurfs, and never watched Fraggle Rock (it came after my formative years).

    Ern – there’s a joke about a man who buys a parrot and gets so annoyed with its mimicking him that he flushes it down the toilet. The “I see your heiny” song is what he hears when he goes to the bathroom.

  • Mrs.Strizzay

    My dog has diarreah

  • Katie-be-bored-at-work

    Woah, it must have been one sleepless night for Dooce. The first post was at 3:17! When I read the title for the photo, I thought it meant that that old guy ripped a huge fart out on the slopes. I was trying to figure out how Dooce heard him let one rip. I guess I am not up with the Cali/Utah cool-speak.

    Bucky, I personally had a thing for Cap’n Crunch.

  • Ern

    Mamarama–does the song start, “Fifty nifty United States…?” I learned that too. I have nightmares about it, but I can list all 50 states in my sleep!

    While we are on the pooping/public bathroom subject (kbbaw, awhile back), this is my favorite Dooce public bathroom story:

  • Mrs.Strizzay

    I want an Ipod. and not a Shuffle either

  • Bucky Four-Eyes

    I dunno, Scott. I’m still waiting for everyone else to admit they had childhood fantasies of Count Chocula, Frankenberry, and Boo-Berry in a naked rasslin’ match.

    Come clean, people. You’ll feel so much better.

  • Mamaramma

    Ern – From his messed up family. There’s also one about a titty twister, which I have also forbid in our lives. On a more positive note, he knows a song that lists the 50 states in alphabetical order, and now we’re trying to teach that to our daughter for some future stupid human trick appearance.

  • ashik

    CM is giving out IPods for… services?

    (throaty) *hi CM*

  • Danielle

    Of course, he ripped it on the slopes.
    Dontcha know? All the cool kids wear glasses.


  • Ern

    Mamarama–where did your husband learn those songs!? Not your typical, “Deck the halls with vaseline…”

  • the niffer

    Well, let’s see what kind of deal we can finagle, striz.

  • Danielle

    Mmmmm…. Lucky Charms. I loved those little marshmallows.

    and no, for those of you who ‘know’ my chocolate addiction, I didn’t eat chocolate cereal.

    (I just drank hot chocolate everyday)

  • cathi

    Mamaramma – Your child may grow up to think it perfectly normal to bite other people’s asses. Now that’s a party trick! Screw butterfly kisses!

  • that-andrea

    Hot peppers taste like burning.

  • LadyBug

    Cool pic.

    But I sincerely hope you were not up with a sick and/or cranky baby at 3:00 AM.

  • Ern

    You know what I love about Doocelings?

    The subjects here range far and wide, but once the chat turns to poop, everyone develops a poop fixation. I can leave the computer for hours at a time and when I return–POOP EVERLASTING!

  • Girl.A

    Cutting the cheese?
    Is that cottage cheese?
    Or cheezwhiz??

    Gives this a whole new spin:
    wet got it goin like a turbo jet

  • LadyBug

    Oh, and if you WERE up with a sick/cranky baby at 3:00 AM, you totally should’ve called me, ’cause I was too.

  • Mamaramma

    cathi – did you ever see that episode of the Smurfs where Gargamel poisoned them, and they turned another color, went around grunting, “G-NAT, G-NAT!” while chomping on each other’s butts? That freaked me out as a kid – that and Fraggle Rock

  • the niffer

    iPods for nekkid everyone! Hope you have a big bank account CM.

    Ok, back to work. See you nekkids later.

  • Scott

    If you are goth for eating Count Chocula, what exactly are you if you eat Frankenberry or Boo Berry?

  • Trance

    Katie, LMFAO.

    “ghostly ass vibes”

  • saralynnmo

    NO WAY! You mean it’s not the same time everywhere? Holy crap, I’ve got to sit down and think about this one. Thanks for changing my life, Jason.

  • honey bunny


    did you know that one of the ways you can tell if your kid/friend/neighbor/ favorite blogger is a GOTH? yep…if she eats count chocula cereal! seriously. the religious right has passed out pamphlets stating it so! also, people who complain of boredom, insist on spending time with friends while unaccompanied by an adult, and worst of all, watch cable television or any other corrupted media sources ARE GOTH!


    it’s ok. i’m “goth” too ;)

  • Mamaramma

    Cathi – “I see your heiny, all bright and shiny. You better hide it, or else I’ll bite it.” My husband sings that all the time to our baby. I’ll have to tell him about your story. I finally got him to stop singing something he grew up with: something about an old man who comes to the door with no pants on and wants a glass of beer.

  • Eclair

    Cheeze Whiz? Man, that’s cold. She’s worth Stilton at least. This is Dooce – we gots to act classy an’ shit.

  • the niffer

    I love the international flavour we’re getting this morning thanks to the ‘early’ posting. Makes the world feel so small.

  • U.B.

    Wow, yet another busy day at Dooce.

    I haven’t read all 559 comments, but had an ass episode myself yesterday. Took the kiddies to the movies since they were off yesterday. Apparently, I haven’t been properly monitoring my ass girth because I *barely* fit in the #$@*ing theatre seat. It was really depressing…but I was able to overcome and still schnarf down the mondo tub of popcorn with butter-like grease all over it.

    Also, I want to know what kind of dog that is of Metro’s?? It sort of looks like a brindle dane, but has it’s tail bobbed — which I’ve never seen.

  • Circus Kelli

    Ladybug: Can we please, please start talking about farts again?
    We don’t have to talk about them… just inhale deeply.

    Sorry, I couldn’t help myself.

    “Better out, than in” as my Grandma always says…

  • meREDith

    East Caosters that check DOOCE each morning have a chance to get in before 100 comments now too!!!
    Rain+fog-no snow= blah!!!

  • Katie-be-bored-at-work

    That poem, Cathi, sounds a little bit perverted for a child’s ears. “You better hide it, or else I’ll bite it”? I would have been frightened by that, too!

  • ashik

    So, CM, I was wondering (twirls hair)… how did your dog become so good looking..?

  • Mamaramma

    The dude with the glasses looks like Stephen Merchant’s (from “The Office”) dad who makes cameos as a janitor on the show. Maybe you had a very very minor celebrity run in!

  • Trance

    Heather probably can clog quite a toilet herself.

    Those of us who don’t go for long periods of time?

    We *save up*.

    Let’s just say I can work a plunger like nobody’s business.

  • tIffany

    A shaming statement? Dude, trained monkeys are AWESOME. There is absolutely no shame in treating your child like a trained monkey. Right now I’m treating mine like a wild monkey and letting him eat/throw dry cereal and play with a mylar balloon so I don’t have to actually like, DO anything today. Teaching butterfly kisses involves a lot more interaction than I’m providing at the moment. Go Heather.

  • Cheryl

    HHAHAHAH When I read “ripped it” I immediately thought of farting… and now I can’t stop laughing!

  • Bucky Four-Eyes

    Katie-BBAW: “I can almost feel their ass cheeks on my own.”

    So vivid. So poetic.

    Really? You can feel the ghostly ass cheeks? Have you considered using this gift to benefit humanity?

  • Mrs.Strizzay

    Cheese is only good sometimes.

    half crusty american that never got covered before it went inot the fridge…nasty

    mozz cheese wrapped around some mini pretzels…mmmmm

  • Melanie S.

    You’re out there skiing and having fun, meanwhile, GEORGE and all of us Texans are stuck here in 80 degrees of poo…until today. It will be 70, then tomorrow, 50!

    My head is going to explode!