In the South that would indicate a tornado was a comin’

  • Annejelynn

    oh~ oh~ make sure your sound volume is up, but not too loud, any co-workers within earshot will wonder what the hell yer doin’

  • Peter Hentges

    My glazed-eye co-workers are starting to look at me suspiciously. Must suppress laughter. Must not imagine how BFE was waving the A-1. Must not imagine she was intoning a Hail Mary while said waving (without hands) was going on.

  • lilyothefield

    annejelynn- Alf could have told you that cats and teriyaki go well together . . .

  • Stephen McKenna

    Are you sleeping okay at night Heather? 3:45AM seems a bit early to be posting.

  • lilyothefield

    Mrs. Striz- just one of the things my mom can’t tell me about having kids. she had to c-sections.

  • Katie

    That’s a pretty picture. I’m going skiing this weekend, but just in Michigan, so obviously it’s not a real mountain. I’d love to ski in Utah someday though.

  • Annejelynn

    CLEAN YOUR SCREEN! (this is so fuckin’ cute!)

    tah-dah! my first use of tinyurl! someone tell me if it doesn’t work!

  • Peter Hentges

    Contraction’s are ea’sy, CanadianAmy. Ju’st remember than an apo’strophe i’s there to warn you that an “s” is approaching.

  • bean

    remember, when you’re pushing out baby, endorphins are racing around your head and you’re drunk in labourland…i found the after-poop much harder than pushing out the babe. no endorphins for after-poop.

    i wish someone had prepared me for the after-poop. at least if they’d told me it would last a good 6 mos!!! how unprepared i was.

  • CanadianAmy


    gotta get a handle on those contractions.

  • Mrs.Strizzay

    Lily, there is actually a bucket at the bottom of the bed. I never even thought about it until my husband told me. Yes, A BUCKET.

    Raz, its BFE’s bottle, youll have to ask her about that one.

  • Bucky Four-Eyes

    CanAmy, I’m ashamed to say, I *was* waving an A1 bottle around.

    And I wasn’t using my hands.

    Okay, that’s a lie. I was never ashamed.

  • Katie-be-bored-at-work

    Raz, that would depend on whether the A1 bottle was open when it was placed in the rear entrance. Although I would definitely wear rubber gloves while handling the A1 bottle’s exterior.

  • Wicked H

    Spooky, yet gorgeous!

  • kat

    That’s a lot of thank yous. I’ve resorted to sending online thank you notes through Saves my hand from cramping.

  • Sharon

    Early early-it’s always good to start the work day off with some Dooce.

  • Annejelynn

    Last night I shook a bottle of Trader Joe’s very teriyaki sauce – the lid was loose and I didn’t know it…2 complete shakes later, the stuff was all over! and Who knew my kitties would like teriyaki sauce? They were scrambling for a lick here and there (everywhere) before I could thoroughly clean it all up.

  • CanadianAmy



    As long as you were’nt waving the A-1 bottle around.

  • Annejelynn

    da-da-damn, you are cute C. Metro! “Don’t forget the last step, now.” Thanks again for the tinyurl tutoring and for inducing a muscle-achin’ smile.

  • Peter Hentges

    Or end a work night with some dooce, Sharon. Either way, fun stuff!

  • Bucky Four-Eyes

    Raz — if I can keep my anus death grip on the A1 bottle, hopefully *nothing* will come out whilst I’m shakin’ it.

  • Kendra

    I think I was at this point yesterday!! I love this early posting stuff!!

  • Jason

    “Katie-be-bored-at-work said at 10:45AM, 02.23.2005:

    For some reason, I can’t imagine Leonardo DiCaprio taking a crap.”

    Oh…I so can. Thanks for that mental image.

  • Peter Hentges

    Cute? Um, gee. Thanks, niffer. You’re pretty spiff yourself!

  • lilyothefield

    Mrs. Striz- thanks. really, i always wondered about that. they say all the time that giving birth is messy, but they only mention the birthing fluids. all that talk about pushing made me wonder.

  • the niffer

    I wouldn’t worry too much BFE. UPPERCASE GOD hasn’t been watching these parts for a while. I think you’re safe.

    Peter – you’re cute. I also get bummed when I miss the poop talk of the doocelings. Bummed. Heh.

  • Sidney Ann

    Heather, you crack my shit up!

  • Julianne

    wow, beaufitul sky. i’m from tornado country too and love watching the sky turn green.

    it’s not early here – already 9am

  • RazDreams

    mrs. strizz & bfe: i wonder if any black stuff will come out of the bottle whilst shaking it at me…


  • Jennifer in Kansas City

    Yowza! Heavy sky. Kinda like my eyelids!

  • Mrs.Strizzay

    EEEW BFE, we *know* where that bottle has been.

  • Bucky Four-Eyes

    CanAmy — I’ve said my Hail Marys and Our Fathers.
    Was it wrong that I danced the Lambada while I was saying them? Do you think God will get mixed messages?
    Do you think He knows that I want to be “more than friends”?

  • Katie-be-bored-at-work

    Is the poop tea’s actual brand name “Poop Tea”? That is so awesome. While I don’t have a problem with passing stool, I would love to have that on my coffee table as a conversation starter.

  • Lisa S

    Hey Dooce, are you suffering from insomnia lately?

    And my goodness, have you seen a tornado? First hand?

  • Annejelynn

    ahhhh – thank you oh so kind and all knowing C.M. ~ wunderbar!

  • Bucky Four-Eyes

    Because if I were to make some comment about a Divine Money Shot, that would be wrong.

  • Mrs.Strizzay

    Giving birth is way better than having loose stool, although you may have that while giving birth.

    Ahh birth. Pushing feels GOOD!

  • Peter Hentges

    I was also not going there, Bucky. I don’t need to wonder about the Lord’s leather G-string or his position on A-1. That kind of smiting would leave a mark.

  • Closet Metro

    No problem, Annejelynn. Don’t forget the last step, now. It’s the most important!

  • Peter Hentges

    Oh, silly me … if I knew the Lord was a-comin’, I would bake a cake.

  • Marti

    I have to ask. What movie is that from?

  • CanadianAmy

    BFE…….so wrong!

    You say ten hail marys and ten our fathers as penance right now!

  • ashik

    Shiz – I think there being a baby at the end instead of, you know, poop, might help.

  • Bucky Four-Eyes

    I think your best bet when the Lord is a-comin’ is to put out the best china.

    Must…resist…”a-comin’” joke…or be struck…by lightning.

  • ashik

    Although, I might have never experienced the sort of pain you speak of.

  • Bucky Four-Eyes

    So, what does it indicate in Utah? The the Lord is a comin’?

  • Shiz

    Dang and Bean, Bin 941 is also very yummy.

  • Peter Hentges

    And what would one do if the Lord was a-comin’? Is the root cellar still your best option?

  • RazDreams

    smooth move tea *is* awesome, but not always as “smooth” as i’d like it. sometimes slightly cramp-inducing…

  • Peggasus

    Ah, yes, there is nothing more humbling than some little shit kid yelling ‘Get outta the way, lady!’ as he whooshes by you on the slopes.

    Except maybe being carried down a slope on one of the snowmobile-drawnsleds, with all the other skiers pointing at you as they say ‘ Look at the dork who fell and hurt herself.’