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Samson, shorn

2005/03/06



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  • http://eyesaverted.blogspot.com/ Wicked H

    Looks like maybe Jon is now scrumptious but sans beard…

  • Tom Jones

    Why, why, why, Delilah?

    My, my, my, Delilah!

  • http://www.panamenya.blogspot.com Monique

    SweetSue #112: I think I did inhale for two reasons.

    1. My lungs burned and I coughed like crazy the first fifteen times I tried smoking before eating the brownies,

    and

    2. After eating the brownies, I did try smoking again and it worked immediately. Same technique, same coughing thing.

    I’m thinking maybe it didn’t work because my brain didn’t know what “high” was supposed to feel like. I could be wrong about this.

    Personally I prefer eating. Doesn’t hurt.

  • http://fancythat.squarespace.com Toryssa

    I’ve always thought that eating it was such a waste.

  • http://www.veryzen.blogspot.com Amanda B.

    Kendra in T-bay- wow, you are awesome. Can I come hang out with
    you? That sounds like my dream job. Seriously.

    *throws bra at Tom Jones*

  • Tom Jones

    Thank you, Amanda, love.

    Anything else for me?

    Or do you have a request?

  • Tom Jones

    I can’t hold it back any longer:

    What’s new pussycat? Whooaa, whooaa, whooaa

    What’s new pussycat? Whooaa-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh!

    Pussycat, pussycat, I love you, yes I do . . .

  • avey

    Things I’ve Done that You Probably Haven’t Done

    1. Sex on the steps of the Philadelphia Art Museum (where the Rocky footprints are) over looking the city at night.

    2. Pumped Ally Sheedy’s gas.

    3. Labor to birth less than 6 hours, first baby.

    4. Lost my front tooth a total of four times! (working on five times)

    5. Declined a job designing cartoon movie characters for MTV.

  • avey

    Ally Sheedy…
    from the Breakfast Club.

    I thought I would just say it now before I get asked.

  • http://www.panamenya.blogspot.com Monique

    Avey:

    Regarding your front tooth, I haven’t gone through that, but you’re lucky you keep getting it back. What’s your secret?

  • http://thefathousewife.blogspot.com/ Mrs.Strizzay

    Avey, I have delivered all 3 of my children in 4 1/2 hours or less.

    HA!

    lol

  • http://diversionmary.com Eric Bostrom

    hey dooce, cnn just ran their “blog/fired oh noes!” article. are there any news organizations that haven’t run this story yet?

  • avey

    MONIQUE: The secret is money and an unwillingness to be seen in public sans front tooth.

    MRS. STRIZZAY: Ahh, I was sure someone had me beat! I just put it in there because lots of people seem pretty amazed with that amount of time. I was told that they are suppose to come faster each time – that scares me! What if one is stuck in traffic while in fast labor?

  • http://www.krankipantzen.blogspot.com Frauline Von Krankipantzen

    What a great topic. Inspired me to de-lurk again. I love reading stuff like this! Here is my not so exciting list.

    1.Was asked by Tommy Lee (Motley Crue) about my hair colour. He had his hair dyed the same shade the following day.

    2.Fell out of Richard Thomas’ movie set trailer. He used to play John-Boy Walton.

    3.Had to get an AVM (think Nate in Six Feet Under) removed from my jugular vein.

    4.Backpacked in Jamaica and hiked through the mountainous coffee plantations – while seriously caffeinated!

    5.Diagnosed with Breast Cancer at age 35. Sadly, this makes me very unusual.

  • http://thefathousewife.blogspot.com/ Mrs.Strizzay

    Avey, my first came on her own in 4 hours and 21 minutes, my son had to be induced and he came in 3 and a half, my last one came by herself, with a bit of pitocin, in about 4 hours. She would have probably been the longest had that not given me that VILE EVIL FUCKING LIQUID!!

  • avey

    MRS. STRIZZAY:

    How much more painful does the pitocin make everything?

  • squish

    Wow. That’s a lot of hair to clean up.

  • http://thefathousewife.blogspot.com/ Mrs.Strizzay

    Pitocin sucks.

    I think it makes them come stronger and faster, making it more difficult to cope with.

    My natural labor I was able to kind of detatch myself from the pain and go inward.

    With pitocin I was very AWARE of the pain the pain the pain.

    I think doctors are quick to use it personally. The last time my husband said my midwife (who we loved) must have wanted to get back to the pffice by noon.

  • http://uhohnowlook.blogspot.com Susie

    1. Had sex with John-Boy Walton on the steps of the Philadelphia Art Museum

    2. Smelled Ally Sheedy’s gas

    3. Had wisdom teeth removed by a cartoon character

    4. Tom Jones through his Speedo at me

    5. Wore two left shoes and served marijuana brownies at my swearing in ceremony when I was elected mayor of Ferry, Michigan

  • http://uhohnowlook.blogspot.com Susie

    Oops. Tom THREW the Speedo. The “through,” well, that was something else with Tom, never mind that story . . .

  • http://thefathousewife.blogspot.com/ Mrs.Strizzay

    Susie your dog looks soft and fluffy

  • http://uhohnowlook.blogspot.com Susie

    Soft and fluffy and VERY BAD

  • http://bucky4eyes.blogspot.com Bucky Four-Eyes

    Susie, LMFAO! Tell us all about Ally Sheedy’s gas!

  • http://honeyofthehumansoul.blogspot.com SueFromOhio

    I know Dooce isn’t ‘pornish’ so I must be a real sicko for imagining what the thumbnail was going to expand to…..

  • k ( a pseudonym to…well, you know already

    avey – I turned down a job to design the mtv logo intros that used to be animated in 1986- does that count? I also worked on the only animated cartoon of David Letterman. oh, i miss the days of real animation (sans computers)

    i want to know what was being done to you that you fell out of the trailer (we all knew John-Boy was a bad bay at heart)

  • http://roomwithaboom.blogspot.com boomboombecca

    Off Topic:

    Have you seen this?

    Shoot…I don’t know how to post a link inside comments. Fox News has a webstream called “Dooced” talking about blogs and people getting fired. At one point in the discussion they say they don’t even know where the term “Dooced” originated.
    Effing idiots. As much as it pains me to say check the website, check the website. Blech.

  • http://uhohnowlook.blogspot.com Susie

    Ally Sheedy’s gas is powerful. It has been bottled and combined with Jamaican coffee as part of a drug that has been used to dramatically accelerate the labor and birthing process, as an alternative to pitocin. Side effects are mild; just that the baby comes out resembling Tommy Lee and barking like a carnie.

    That is all.

  • k ( a pseudo – oh screw it)

    i need entertainment – i am slogging through the most BORING documentation about dermatology imagineable right now. MORE 10 things lists NOW!! :)

  • Dooce Help Desk
  • http://www.oipom.com Meggan

    Five things I’ve done that you probably haven’t, that are all very boring because I haven’t been alive for very long:

    1. Read the fifth Harry Potter book at a rate of about 100 pages an hour.

    2. Took gymnastics for seven years.

    3. Eaten Moroccan food in a restaurant for Thanksgiving instead of the traditional turkey dinner.

    4. In 6th grade, won my elementary school’s spelling bee, as well as my district’s, and my county’s.

    5. Met the guitarist and drummer from Type O Negative, the drummer from Chimaera and the vocalist from Nile, all on separate occasions.

  • http://spuriousplum.blogspot.com/ Spurious Plum

    Things I’ve Done that You Probably Haven’t Done…Maybe.

    1. Dreamt of getting sacrificed to a Native American volcano god, but refused and told him to ‘suck it’. Too much Dooce?

    2. Had (good!) sex in a Millers Outpost dressing room.

    3. Had a kidney specialist in Japan give me a suppository for my infected tonsils. Didn’t take it, and got mad-ass hallucinations.

    4. Got shot at in a restaurant, and didn’t drop my hot chocolate.

    5. Remained drunk for my entire junior year of high school, with my teachers permission.

  • Jess

    Hey, my parents just ordered Photoshop Elements for me for school. Anyone know if I can do the dotty thing with it – or do I need the full version? Thanks!

  • http://www.krankipantzen.blogspot.com Frauline Von Krankipantzen

    Weeeelllll, if you MUST know.

    I was a costumer on a film featuring John Boy. As I was exiting his trailer after clearing out his costumes I tripped in the top stair and fell to the pavement below – completely missing every stair in between. The best part is I landed holding his costume over my head so it wouldn’t get dirty or torn. We only had a single of this costume and it had to be protected at all costs. The crew cheered.

    While I do have a few kink-o-liscious celebrity stories none directly include me. I was always too busy washing actor underthings to partake.

  • k – damn it all tired of typing

    Frau-

    Bitte, mein Frau, wir muss sprechen!!
    I was a costumer for 16 years!!

    I have a cut myself and bled everywhere EXCEPT on the costume story.

  • http://www.krankipantzen.blogspot.com Frauline Von Krankipantzen

    Ah Yes! K

    Then you KNOW!

  • http://www.livejournal.com/users/burdanilex Burdanilex

    Sounds like you’ve had an interesting life Spurious Plum!

    Am totally curious who’s hair that is. Also curious why there hasn’t been a post since Friday.

  • Tara

    mmmm loving how on the weekends the comments decrease from 1500 to 150.
    i miss you doocelings!

  • http://www.panamenya.blogspot.com Monique

    Susie # 156, you crack me up. :)

  • amy

    I’m hoping that is Jons beard?

  • http://www.laurenstranahan.com Lauren Stranahan

    My five things I’ve done that you probably have not …

    1. Delivered my last 2 babies alone in my bathroom.

    2. Worked as a Professional Dominatrix.

    3. Have a big ass tattoo of my husband on my arm.

    4. Put up a website exposing my deadbeat dad.

    5. Had sex with my boss in a bathroom, while his live-in girlfriend (um, my other boss) was 15 feet away. (I’m not proud of this, but I bet you haven’t done it.. )

    Dooce.com – the facilitator of weird conversation.

  • Michelle Brady

    My Five Things?

    1) Got married in my mother’s den by a Justice of the Peace, while my mother sat in the kitchen in her house shoes and ate Rice Krispies Treats with the rest of my family.

    2) Went suicidal when (the man I thought was) my soul mate called me on the phone from college to tell me he was gay.

    3) Labored for a total of 3 days with my first child (2 days of worsening contractions followed by 23 hours and 53 mins of active labor).

    4) Rescued a chick from my high-school biology class and raised him into a rooster I named Oscar.

    5) Had my mother chase me around the house, screaming, “I’ll beat the fucking Devil out of you!” while my dad physically held her back.

  • http://ryanharne.com RyanH

    Woah. I’d never before taken the downward spiral to this point on the Daily Photo page. I had no idea that it was this easy to comment (I was expecting a form to fill out with a password etc.).

    I have missed too much already ::sigh::

  • http://maddenvision.typepad.com/maddenroundtheland/ cathi

    Damn, Michelle. Did your mother not like the Rice Krispie treats?

  • hkhkh

    1. Asked Kid Rock if he needed any assistance finding a DVD in a Best Buy that I didn’t work in

    2. Sat next to women who gave bj’s in exchange for beverages at a Van Halen concert

    3. Actually said “beggars can’t be choosers” to a hobo who heckled my then boyfriend for understandably refusing to give the bum twenty bucks

    4. Vomited squid into a toilet in the men’s bathroom of the Montreal forum
    (I’m female)

    5. Cut school to see Princess Di

  • http://www.pissybritches.blogspot.com Pissy Britches

    Ummm..who’s freakin hair is that. You are scaring us!

  • koof

    allright…
    1. walked in on my (now ex) boyfriend sleeping with another woman. told him i wanted to punch him, and he said “not in the face, i don’t want to lose a contact”
    2. had a spinal tap and thought during it “these go to eleven.”
    3. skipped 54 days of my senior year and still graduated(and wondered if they could take my diploma away once they gave it to me)
    4. didn’t see star wars until 2004 ( i know i’m not the only one, but i’m one of the few)
    5. uhhh…slept with your mom

    alright, so maybe i’ve only done 4 things you probably haven’t done…

  • http://lawbrat.com lawbrat

    5 things….

    1. Competed and won 3rd best brief in an national international law competition

    2. In the time span of one term (15 weeks) accumulated 475.00 worth of parking tickets

    3. Had sex with then husband in the womens bathroom of Northwestern University in Chicago, with someone in the bathroom, and neither of us ever attended the university

    4. Told one of my law professors that he would get diahrea from eating the sugar free candy…hes not diabetic

    5. Married a man (now divorced for 4 years) with a tiny cock

  • annie

    um, i’m so confused about the five things, but heather…. um, your hair must be GONE. i’m a bit concerned. please post pics. i’m sure it’s great, but that is a lot of f’n hair. unless it’s leta’s.

    here’s my one thing:
    1. didn’t have hair until i was three. please don’t cut leta’s hair – it’s basically a 51(a).

  • http://thefathousewife.blogspot.com/ Mrs.Strizzay

    don’t want no short short man

  • procrastinator

    1. Moved 17 times my junior year of high school. Thanks, Mom!

    2. Rode on an airplane from Colorado to California sitting with the Denver Broncos.

    3. Was in 3 of my mom’s 5 weddings.

    4. Had sex 15 times on my 3-day honeymoon.

    5. Haven’t spoken to my mom in 6 years.

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