They’re letting anyone write a children’s book these days

I found these books in a toy store up the street yesterday and took pictures with Jon’s cameraphone. Then I saw this board game:

And turned it over to find this on the back of the box:

  • Rosie Smosie

    I don’t beileve you…those are crazy!!! It made me laugh though which is great since I am sick right now!!

    I love reading your blog I wish i could do as well as you. I have been trying to work from home sice my first child was born now she is 4.

  • Maiken

    What??!! Oh, no was this an early April Fools gag? I fell hook, line, and sinker! Thanks for the laughs, Heather.

  • Karen Rani

    Okay I took a closer look. I’m a tool. Photoshop City.

  • ErinMqt

    Some other classics from an old email forward (when forwards were still good):

    “Pop Goes the Hamster and Other Microwave Games”


    “Daddy Left Because You’re Bad”

  • Sonnet Blanton

    Heather’s hair = hotness.

  • tksinclair

    Your hair is amazing! It looks just like that model – Sienna Miller (I think?!?!). It’s fresh, youthful and incredibly sexy!

  • kerri

    Yeah, me, too! Have to get in on all of this hair complimenting. It’s adorable! And Jon’s t-shirt is awesome. I remember laughing when I saw that t-shirt featured on Preshrunk awhile back.

  • nicolelise

    hair is beautiful!
    i feel a little sketchy noticing this, but…is that st. ives apricot scrub i see in your shower? is jon exfoliating now?

  • susan @ yow

    Those are hysterical! Thanks for the laugh.

  • Holy Schmidt! – Melanie

    Holy shit, I needed that! Thank you for keeping me insane.

  • veg4me

    If a book was written about my neighbors it would be called The Runaway Bunny left home because a Very Hungry Caterpillar crawled into his father’s head and made him demented enough to spend their earnings on strippers at his lunch hour playing Pat the Bunny.

    maybe the new hairdo is photoshop trickery as well…

  • cali


  • RzDrms

    are you blonde again?! last time you went away from blonde, you said it was the last picture we’d ever see of you blonde. i hope you’re blonde again though. you look SO PRETTY that way (but, of course, gorgeous with darker hair too, but the blonde…H-O-T!). :)

  • wealhtheow

    LOVE the hair! Also, I would dearly love to send some of those books to some of the more neurotic mothers I know, especially I Lost My Dad to Syphilis.

  • Jason

    Brilliant! Wish they were real, I’d love to get some and leave them places…like at the doctors office :P

  • joy

    finally, a book i can use to speak to my child about gender confusion….

  • m@

    hmm, i guess ‘You’re Weird’ had its cover changed since I sent it from the publisher — it was supposed to be a book about politics. psh, crazed children’s publishers wastin’ my flavah….

  • schloobie

    Preetttty sneaky, sis! (To quote an old Connect Four commercial). Good Photoshopping.

  • LJH

    Heather, I just wanted to say I absolutely LOVE your new haircut. You are just one of those women who look good no matter what their hair length!!

  • Erik

    wow, i’m an idiot. i sent that to all my friends saying, “i can’t believe this!!!”

    they were all like, “erik, it’s photoshopped.”

  • trevordlb

    Okay, I rarely every say this, but I feel it’s worthy: OMG!!!

  • Heather

    Those are HILARIOUS!! Thanks for the laugh, I needed it today!!

  • Cindy

    My first thought was “Boy, am I out of the loop of childrens book nowadays…”

    My second thought, after the lightbulb went off in my head was, “Boy, I wish I could photoshop like Heather!” :-)

    Thanks for the laughs today (and always)! Happy April Fool’s!


  • Snickrsnack Katie

    Oh my GOD. I totally was sitting here, mouth gaping open, in complete and utter shock as to why I had never found these awesome books! And then I realized. This HAS to be April Fool’s Day two days early. My GOD Heather. You have MAD photoshop skills! Either that, or the bookstores in Salt Lake City are WAY different that the ones in Houston. I figured the only books you could find around there were the Book of Mormon and, well, the Book of Mormon.

    Thanks for the laugh!

  • katiemagic

    Your hair looks awesome.

  • The Mighty Jimbo

    there could be a spot for you on the daily show.

  • Zea

    Is this a good spot to confess I actually bought my 9 y.o. son a copy of “The Day My Butt Went Psycho”?

    He, however, is a graduate of Capt. Underpants University. I have a feeling Leta is going to loooove Dav Pilkey (and don’t forget to check out “The Dumb Bunnies”).

  • Carli

    I want to order them all and give them as inappropriate gifts to children at their birthday parties. Maybe then I won’t be invited anymore. Soo funny, happy good morning to me!

  • Teachbroeck

    I FREAKED OUT! I love the book What Color is Your Underwear! Thought I was buying inappropriate literature. YOU GOT ME!

  • Strizz

    Love the new hair. And the blurry neck nuzzle. Dead szexy.

  • Jennifer

    Good Lord. That’s freaking hilarious.

  • eddeaux

    Oh my word. Those were classick.

  • Heather

    Okay, I know this off-topic but… has anyone ever told Jon that he bears a striking resemblance to former matchbox twenty guitarist, Adam Gaynor????

  • Shelli

    I WANT THEM ALL!!!!!! :)

  • Wicked H

    Loving the new hair Dooce. Looks great!

  • Amanda B.

    I am hot in the pants for your new hair style.

    That is all.

  • iamchanelle

    *wipes away tear*

  • Huts

    They get progressively worse as the post continues! All of this should be banned! Banned I say! Oh, wait, that makes me sound like a close-minded bigotted jerk! Guess they can stay on the shelves.

    Strange indeed!