• prenault

    You have to remember there are no generalities for this kind of thing– every situation is entirely different. But, I’ll still share my experience. I was 6 years old when my sister was born, and it was one of the most exciting and wonderful events of my life. Probably because of the age difference, I’ve never felt jealous of my sister; she’s my best friend. I actually remember feeling sort of lonely as an only child, despite all the attention and despite having lots of friends.

    From a parenting perspective, my sister was much easier. My mother suffered from PPD with me, and I didn’t help it much by being a very difficult baby. My mom spent many nights pacing the floors with me, crying right along with my wailing. However, my sister turned out to be a different story– she was good-natured, and slept and ate very well.

    My sister and I both wish my parents would’ve had more kids. My mom miscarried a little boy a few years after my sister was born, and it still haunts us. I would’ve loved to have another sibling. Ideally, I look at families as teams– adding another player can be a real bonus.

    Good luck with whatever decision you make.

  • empresschrys

    I give you much credit for bravery my dear, opening this up for debate amongst the populace of the blurbodoocery universe is brave indeed! (Or incredibly stupid, not quite sure which yet)

    I have no children yet, but the husband and I decided a few weeks ago to forgo birth control and “let nature take it’s course.” I am scared shitless and totally excited all at the same time.
    Oddly enough, we have already had the “one or more?” discussion. Right now we sit at a firm two and that’s it policy, but I told him I reserved the right to ammend that if having the first one ends up being enough for me.

    I think you are smart to consider it and give the decision a great deal of thought. Whatever your decision I can honestly say I support you and Jon 100%. I think you two should do whatever you decide you want, what all of us in the blogoshpere think is irrelevant. We do not live your life, you do, so do what you want with it.

  • Heather

    Our family consists of mom, dad and two very active little boys. My husband is in the Army and consequently is gone all of the time. None of my family understands why we aren’t ‘Trying for a little girl’. I am outnumbered as it is and I totally understand why you wouldn’t want to rock the boat that your family is in right now. Do what is best for you and yours and if you are anything like me, you can still ignore family talking just like you did when you were a teenager. Good luck!

  • Etack

    My husband and I have found happiness in one child, though when we started out we thought we’d have more, but as it all progressed, we just knew one was the right number for us. I feel badly when people feel pressure to have more because I think having one is totally underrated. Of course, my sister is also a mother of twins, so this might have something to do with it!

  • schadenfreudette

    all i can say about this is that if you wait until the timing is perfect, you’ll never have another kid. b/c there is always one reason or another to put it off.

    my girls are 14 months apart, thanks to that faulty equation breastfeeding=birth control. i know it’s terrifying and overwhelming and terrifying again. but the good thing about having the 2nd one, is that the 1st one is there as a constant affirmation that you DIDN’T fuck up and that more than likely, you won’t fuck up the next one either.

    and to be honest, having 2 is not as hard as people make it sound. sure, it has its moments, but that’s what children’s nyquil is for. the other moments, when they love and dote on one another, and play with eachother, are some of the most precious seconds you’ll ever experience.

    it will only be “right” after the fact. best of luck to you in your decision.

  • lorilynn

    I have drilled every woman I see with two or more children about the difference between one child and two. They always tell me it is not twice the work–it is one hundred times the work. They tell me after two kids it doesn’t matter how many you have. I have been thinking about this since my son was born five years ago. I have all the same thoughts and questions. I also have a fear something will happen to my son and I will not be able to go on. I feel in my warped head that having another child would keep my from going crazy if I lost my son.

  • http://poisondartsofpleasure.blogspot.com poisondarts

    i really can’t believe you’re going to read ALL of these responses. you deserve an award for that alone =)

    seriously, LOOK AT THIS SUPPORT SYSTEM YOU’VE BUILT. it’s phenomenal.

  • kerry

    i know exactly what you are going through. whenever my extended family gets together, i’m always asked when hubby and i are going to have “more” because my cousin just had her 4th son this time last year.

    i have 2 sons under the age of 5 and, although i used to want 4 or 5 kids, i’m not sure my sanity could handle having any more. not at this point in my life, anyway. maybe if i had started in my early 20′s, when i had butt-loads of energy, but i’m exhausted all the time now.

    and yet, whenever i hear about one of my friends or family being pregnant, i get that itch. my other cousin’s wife is pregnant again. this will be their 2nd. part of me wants to be pregnant, too. but i don’t want to end up in a mental ward.

    it’s a tough decision. i hope you find the answers you need.

  • Meredith Seiverd

    I have a 19 month old girl… a princess of terror, if you will.

    Lately, I had been saying that I think the one is enough until last night I got to hold a friend’s 1 month old son. Suddenly, that part of my life seemed like a piece of cake compared to now. That all those hours I spend depressed or sad… thinking that a baby was soo tough… and poof! It all seemed so easy compared with our 19 month old.

    I am suddenly confident I “could” do the baby thing again. It’s just the rest of my life that I worry about.

    ;p

  • http://www.shelibells.blogspot.com shellibells

    I am having the Mama urge as well, one 8 year old is my only child…a daughter. I miss it.

    However, the only way I’m getting pregnant (single) and having any worthy opponent father my child is by chosing the blonde haired blue eyed nerd from the sperm bank…

    Being single sucks! (sometimes)

  • http://www.kempland4u.com Goooder

    If you don’t know and are unsure financially my vote is to wait. Wait until you do know one way or the other.

    You have time!

  • http://Jamie Jamie

    I have one 8 month old baby boy and I am perfectly happy to have him be my one and only. My husband really wants at least one (or two…) more. I was an only child myself and I can’t imagine having another one. I feel like I’m spread as thin as I can go already, I don’t think it’s fair to my son to have to spread myself even further. It’s a really tricky decision because it’s not one that can ever be changed. Good luck. I know you guys will do the right thing.

  • eskimo pie

    Maybe “I don’t know” is the best place for you to be. Just sit with that for now… and keep nibbling on baby heads.

  • http://www.kerrianne.org kerri

    I really can’t bring any baby-making advice to the table. I can bring the mush and say that from my vantage, you are a great mom. And any child, be it one, or two, or seven, would be lucky and blessed to have you.

  • kimbo

    I just want to say that I have a younger (18 months) brother. I remember, more or less, when he arrived on the scene, and I recall feeling resentful and disinterested. Those feelings never left me. Growing up we got along like oil and water, and a big portion of all my childhood stress and unhappiness derived from sibling-related problems. He was angry, difficult, demanding, and cranky, thus running my parents ragged and disgusting me. I preferred to read and play by myself, but my mother often forced me to play with him. This always ended in a fight between my brother and me and with my mother being angry at ME for not being a “better big sister.”

    I am 35 years old, and while my brother and I don’t fight anymore, maybe it’s because he lives on the other side of the country and we see each other every 2 or 3 years. We have never been close and probably never will be.

    So DO NOT listen to anyone who tells you that you should have a second child for Leta. This is NOT a reason to do it — you have no idea that these siblings will be close or even like each other and it places an unfair pressure on them to have the kind of relationship YOU imagine they should have, and not whatever develops naturally.

    I think if my parents had chosen to stop with me, the overall family atmosphere would have been much more pleasant and stress-free. I was a quiet and well-behaved baby who enjoyed being alone; my brother was the complete opposite and unfortunately this created discord and strife for everyone.

  • susud

    It gets easier! I have 3 children. 13, 11 and 7. The last one was an afterthought, I was 36. I wouldn’t change anything.

  • Ani

    I too went through debilitating PPD after #1. It ws a struggle to redefine who I was and what I did. It took me three years to get my courage up to try for #2. And then I had a mc. And then it took me a long time to try again.

    #2 is now 1 yr old. And though it is intensely more hectic, it is also double the rewards. Two rambunctious loving little men to hug and kiss. I was in such a different place mentally, physically, and emotionally with #2 that PPD was never an issue.

    There is never a “right” time. And with PPD, the fact that you KNOW what to expect, can make a big difference.

    Good luck with your decision, and know that some of use had it a lot better, the second time around.

  • http://hmckillip.blogspot.com Heather

    Hi Heather,

    I love this post. I never had to go through post partum, so I cannot relate completely to the devastating effects that must have had on you and your family. I have, however gone through some very difficult times after having kids and have felt like having anymore would be really hard on me, the hubby, and the kids. I have three kids, the oldest is 6, then comes a 3 year old, and then my 2 year old. I appreciated what you said about moms of three who are handling it even if they don’t think they are. I often wonder if I’m handling it. It is really hard, especially with them so close in age. I am actually relieved to think about the fact that my youngest is two, that I’m not breastfeeding anymore, that if she skips an occasional nap it won’t kill her, or me for that matter. I have actually been pregnant four times, I had a miscarriage with one. I love my family right now and kind of feel like I’m finally getting things right. The stress of another child would be tough. It is such a personal decision. For me, having a second (and subsequently third) child had a huge impact on me. It opened my eyes to the fact that my oldest was not screwed up and difficult because of me (or at least not completely!) but that he was hardwired that way. My daughters showed me that not every child will throw a tantrum when you leave the park after 3 hours of playing.

    I’m not sure where I’m going with all this. I guess just know that another child, while amazingly difficult and tiring while an infant, is such a blessing for the whole family. As crazy as my kids make me when they are bickering and fighting, they equally fill me with pride and joy when I see them stick up for one another or share with each other. Do what is right for you and your family, but don’t think that you can’t handle another child. You are an amazing mom with so muchlove to give. (The baby I miscarried and my third were “surprises”, but I wouldn’t trade them for the world!)

    Thanks for your entertaining and honest blog.

  • http://cowtowngal.blogspot.com Fruit Loop

    You have to cover the cost of your delivery. That is crazy! You’d think they want you to reproduce seeing as though you’d have to pay extra premiums for each child!!!

  • http://www.vegasandvenice.com vegasandvenice

    I understand both your desire and your fear and that is all that I can say about this. The rest is yours.

  • heathero

    How funny to see this posted here. We just found out at Easter that we are pregnant with the 3rd wonderful person.

    My oldest is 11.5 and our first one together is 3.5. Life deals you cards and they say god never gives us more than we can handle.

    Damn wish he didn’t trust us so much.

    There is no easy answer and natch this is a decision that only you and Jon can decide together.

  • http://justlinda.net JustLinda

    I’ll tell you what…

    I’d be willing to do something for you. Only for you, though (or for anyone else). You could take a few of MINE for a month or two, just to try it out and see.

    A week?

    A day?

    OK, an hour. You’d do it for an hour, right?

  • Lotorq

    Duh………this is a no brainer. Just become a Scientologist. Everything can be regulated by vitamins and excercise :)

  • http://shoeism.blogspot.com Thérèse

    Err… that’s “no” not “not.”

    Stupid letter t.

  • semantique

    My husband has been reading you for years. I only fell in love with your site recently. I have a 2.5 year old boy and laugh hysterically at your site.

    I didn’t suffer PPD, but I think that was mainly because I was on Zoloft throughout my pregnancy and for 11 months after. I am ready for a 2nd baby. NOW, I wonder, HEY should I get back on the magic pills so that I can pre-emptively avoid any PPD or you know…that whole faling apart crying at every freakin’ thing?

    Zoloft is the only SSRI pill that was tested throughout pregnancy and breastfeeding. I had no issues with being on it and found it safe.

    Whatever you decide – it will be the right one :)

  • CharlotteRose

    I truly believe that when your first baby is difficult/a screamer, your second will be easy/a quiet one! This belief is what enabled me to have a second baby. My first screamed for hours day after day for MONTHS. She was so hard. My second was a boy, and couldn’t have been an easier baby. I swear he practically never cried! It was so much better the second time around. I also had PPD with the first, but not the second. I often wonder if the lack of screaming the second time around, plus the “knowing what to do with a baby” factor helped. This too could happen to you!

  • http://myflux.blogspot.com Huts

    There are 318 comments here and I didn’t read them all. I repeat what others have said, just ignore me. As a father of 2 (and someday 3), I just have to say, it does get easier with the second because you already know what you are doing. The second will be different than the first in every aspect. Good or bad, in the end its always worth another nibble on your own newborn’s baby noggin.

  • http://pickyeater.blogspot.com RDZ

    Good for you for actually giving it some honest thought before letting the hormones or whatever get the best of you.

    In response to those who are asking if you can really plan a pregnancy, I would say yes and no. I’m starting my 7th month right now and although we’d planned to have this baby, we didn’t plan to get pregnant 3 weeks after we started trying. I guess we’re just very efficient. My holidays were totally ruined. It was the first time in nearly 20 years that I didn’t start the new year with a hangover.

    We are still gestating our first and the husband is talking about getting a vasectomy to rule out others. But what if we have such a great time with this one that we want fifteen more?

    As hard as it is to decide to have one or more, I’m thinking it’s just as difficult to decide NOT to do it.

    Good luck Heather & Jon, whatever you decide to do. Maybe you should start with a second dog and see how that goes. ;-)

  • Luv2Ballrm

    Heather-
    Wow. You sound like me when I get that baby itch and start sticking my nose in any infants neck just to get a big ole’ whif of that clean baby smell.

    I KNOW we should wait…and we will…unless the birth control fails…then we’ll just deal with it. I figure we’ve got about 2 years before we can mulitpy…if all goes well.

    Of course, it doesn’t help my situation that we’re still considered “newlyweds” and people feel like “married: check, ok, when are you having kids….” UGH…I’ve gotten to the point where I just say “when we’re ready” Doesn’t satisfy most, but I love the look it forces them to have (that look that says…she’s not telling me what I want to hear but she gave me a good enough answer that I can’t press her on it!)

    Best wishes to you and Jon in making this decision.

  • Katie

    Okay, nobody’s raised the most important question, that being: WWCD (What would Chuck do?)

    Seriously though, you DO have the new sewer pipe to handle anything two children might eventually flush…

    Okay, no really–good luck with whatever you decide.

  • http://nbernico@sbcglobal.net NikkiB

    If I’ve learned anything in life, it’s to not live in the “what if…”. I’d rather go for it and know the outcome (good, bad or otherwise) and know I listened to my heart and went after what I wanted. Listen to your heart and you can’t go wrong.
    Also, I have two beautiful diva-girls and my second labor when 100 times better than the first (4 hrs compared to 25+).
    Good luck no matter what decision you make, as long as it comes from your heart, it won’t be wrong! ;-)

  • http://www.baketown.blogspot.com Bake Town

    I know exactly how you feel. I only have one child and he’s now 16. I wish I had done things differently.

  • 6degrees

    I’m not going to bother reading the other 300+ comments to see if I am being redundant or not. I am just going to speak.

    I met my wife who has two boys from her first marriage (he decided to spawn another kid behind her back, fyi) and when we got together, it was an adjustment for me, since I was never previously married, nor had kids. Things were going well for about two years, until we fell into the 1.3% group where birth control fails. Our life was turned on it’s head, since we were not at all prepared for a third child financially or logistically. We just bought (or mortgaged our life away on) a house, and a second much needed car (never buy Ford/ Mercury!!). Needless to say, we were kind of in a pickle. It has been a rough road for us, and still, after 6+ years, our house is in an utter state of chaos. Our oldest is now 17, the next 12, and our daughter 6.5. Hell at it’s finest. Remember that balance is a good thing, for yourself and especially your kids! We try our best to keep up, but we are still always a step behind. Perhaps we just suck at being the best parents in the world, but at least we are trying to be the best parents we can be, even if it isn’t up to our own standards, since we are so buried in everything (physically, emotionally, financially). Be careful what you ask for!!!! Warning!!!

    *off soap box*

  • Jennifer

    First, I love your honesty! I am 32 and have three kids (7,5,2). The first two are both girls, born 21 months apart. I handled them fine. The last was a boy and he was born while my husband was deployed to Afghanistan (he’s active duty army). I was alone for the birth and the first 8 months, my husband visited, and then left again for 6 more months. I thought I handled it well too, but after my husband got back I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety. The pills help a lot.

    I know for a fact that I am done having kids. I love my kids, but I’m pretty stretched. I understand your hesitancy because of your medical stuff, but please know that just because it happened once doesn’t mean it will happen again. Just thank your lucky stars that you understand the warning signs and are not ashamed to get help.

    Leta would be blessed to grow up with a sibling, but just be confident and trust your decision, whatever it may be.

  • http://www.thequeenmama.blogspot.com The Queen Mama

    What’s the deal with people thinking your family size is their business? Don’t you sometimes wanna smack ‘em?!

    Unfortunately, I think it’s universal. I get it all the time from my husband’s family, and we already have THREE BOYS, ages 5, 3, and 1. The last two were both born 5 weeks prematurely, and the birth of the last one sent me closer to post-partum depression than I ever cared to get. I’ve gotten pretty good at saying, “You mean three’s not enough?” with what I hope isn’t too tight a smile. Even my OB said something about “trying for a girl” in the middle of my last exam. What a great time that would have been for that odd leg tic of mine to kick in…

    I have never claimed to know what I am doing in this job, and don’t know if I ever will. Every day is kinda like skydiving without checking the parachute first…but I mean that in the best way possible. I love my boys, tell them so often, and try to keep the chaos and blood loss to a minimum. That’s about the best I can do.

    Even given the insanity of my day-to-day life, I still am sometimes completely clotheslined by my response to a newborn. Heart melts. Eyes water. Arms itch. Ovaries spew. All this, while knowing that another pregnancy is about the most ill-advised thing for my body at this point. I can’t explain it, either. Nor do I know what to do with it at times. You’re not alone.

  • http://anniewaits.livejournal.com anniewaits

    Leta is incredibly lucky to have such wonderful parents. You have an amazing, loving family.

    I’m getting married later this year and we’ve had a lot of talk lately about starting a family – when, how many, and so on. As an 11-year member of the Anti-Depressants club, I am very worried about the effect pregnancy will have on me, my husband, my family. I sympathize, and I wish your family the best.

    It’s a decision that only you and Jon can make. If you choose not to have another child, don’t let anyone tell you it’s the wrong decision. How can anyone say that? It’s YOUR family.

  • jessica

    i would vote adoption if postpartum depression is a significant fear in the process and if your current insurance doesn’t pay for the delivery and all that anyway… plus there are so many kids out there that need parents… no fear of accidentally adopting two or eight children either :)

    good luck w/ whatever you and your family decides!

  • http://shoeism.blogspot.com Thérèse

    You know… there’s not wrong answer to that question, Heather.

    Things happen in life or they don’t, and all we can really do is chase after happiness, whatever that means to each of us. You’ve been through a lot in your life. You can weather whatever comes next, whatever you decide, whenever you decide it. I hope that’s something you know, remember, and take comfort in. It’s obvious from how you write about your family that you love them. To me, that says that anything you do will be out of love.

    Two cents. From one perfect stranger to another. :)

  • http://peytonsplace.diaryland.com Erika

    I’m an only child and my mother is an only child, and I’ll offer this word, my mom is now taking care of my grandmother by herself. My grandmother has had cereberal degeneration since I can remember, and now it has progressed to brain atrophy. I’m a state away and can’t help out as much as I want too. It’s a heavy burden for my mom to bear alone. And when my parents age, I will be the only one responsible for them. I’ll gladly do it, but it would be nice to have a sibling to bounce ideas off of. All that being said, my two are 4 and 1 and we are definitely done. I always wanted 3, but now the idea of being outnumbered terrifies me. ha So, anyway, whether you decide to hold off, or jump in now, I’m sure you’ll be just as great the second time around. oh, and my second child . . . sooooo much quieter than my first!

  • http://www.chaithere.blogspot.com AndreaBT

    This is definitely a question only you can answer for yourself. I had a similar experience: high-need screaming baby plus post-partum depression. I decided at a certain point that I thought I was ready, but God apparently thought otherwise, because I conceived four times in a 14-month-period, and miscarried them all. Finally, when my daughter was almost four, I got pregnant again and it stuck. Easy baby. And the MOMENT I felt myself falling into that abyss of depression again, I just went straight on the meds. That’s the good thing about the second time around, you’ll know what to watch for.

    And I truly must be crazy, because I’m now pregnant with our third, due in January. Baby lust is a powerful, powerful thing.

  • fishonlegs

    Dooce – tell anyone who asks you to sod off. It’s nobody’s business but yours and Jon’s. And that’s that.

  • kathrynaz

    amen, sistah. I have a 13 mo. old, and I have just begun fielding that question. Motherhood, especially for “working” moms, is such a fine balance. It takes a HUGE leap of faith to bring in ANY new variable (never mind a screaming, pooping, real live variable) into the family. Right now simply contemplating ditching our couch for a sectional sends me in paroxysms of doubt and anxiety. Change is SCARY.

    But they are so cute and wonderful… hmmmm…. ack!!

  • http://www.redsroom.com RandiRed

    It is amazing how nature works. It seems to make you forget the difficult times and gives you the itch when it comes to children.

    I am somewhat in the same position as you these days. My husband has been bugging me to have another baby since my first one was born. I have held off and showed him how wonderful it is to be ablle to concentrate and really explore life with one. I have been questioning if my family is complete or not. Am I just comfortable? Do I really want to go through the sleepless nights, the spit-up, the poopie diaper changes almost every hour. My problem isnt the infant stage, because I do feel I can handle that, but how do I do that with a very highly spirited toddler?

    I have been thinking about this for weeks if not months and I still cant come up with an answer. Everyday I ask myself if we are ready as a family to expand or are we good just the way we are.

  • Jonniker

    Gah, really, I’d love to say something more substantial, but I’m too busy reeling from the staggering amount of people who actually take the time to comment, not to express support or just a simple, “this is my experience, take it or leave it,” but who actually are taking the time to *tell you what to do* and using words like, “people like your sister,” and “morbid” and “this is what you need to do.” Naturally, some of them are prefaced with the words, “No offense,” which generally means they are about to say something offensive.

    It really boggles my mind that any of us can assume what it’s like to be another person, and actually offer such harsh, completely unsolicited advice. Who, exactly, do any of these people think they are? I tell you, I’m boggled. BOGGLED.

    All I can say is that I’m pretty sure no matter what you decide to do, that you will be able to handle it, and it will be the right choice for you, because I don’t think there *is* a right answer. And you are a capable, smart, thoughtful person, and it all will work out.

    Much love to you.

  • Elaine Benes

    My daughter is an only child and is staying that way. It’s an OK choice to make.

  • zitsmom

    #1 was adopted so no PPD, no stretch marks, got the call on Monday, picked him up on Thursday and I was a mom. #2 was the baby from hell from 20 weeks of pregnancy till the birth. Had PPD-(had NO idea what it was and was scared shitless to tell anyone my morose, dark thoughts). We made it through and had an uh-oh#3. ALL THREE OF THEM are amazing young men and I can’t imagine my life without all the craziness that kids bring.Sure there were times I wanted to jump from the roof but those were less frequent than the times I just watched them sleep and said a quiet thankyou for those amazing creatures. Leta would be a GREAT big sis…I imagine her pushing you out of the way to take care of the baby herself. Don’t worry, go with the flow and the right thing will happen. Chris

  • diane

    Hi Heather,
    Just another one of many many thoughts for you to weed through…
    As a sufferer for many years from depression, and with friends who have more severe mental health issues, I understand your concerns. Additionally I grew up with a mom who suffered from depression & at times it was very hard to have a mother who locked herself in her room all day on the weekends to cry. But, I also turned out okay.
    I think the depression piece is much more important than the house/insurance/money piece, because if everyone waited until life was “just so” no one would ever have children!
    Finally, I grew up as an only child and I can tell you first hand that a day never went by that I didn’t wish for a sibling. Someone to play games with, someone to run around outside with, someone to tell secrets to, and best of all someone to blame stuff on! My mother couldn’t have anymore children, and in fact it was a small miracle that I even made it. Now that I’m an adult I’ve suplemented with close girl friends, but I will always wonder what it would have been like to have a brother or sister.
    Ultimately, as someone else pointed out, you can only listen to your heart & Jon’s and make the best decision. You are in a different place than you were before, and much wiser. But if you choose to give Leta all of your love you’ll know if that was the right thing to do and everyone will understand. Or at least they should. Otherwise they can just bugger right off.

  • 3togetready

    It’s a big decision. And I can’t address the PPD issue, which is obviously a huge, very valid concern.

    As far as shaking up the status quo, we had 2 kids and were trying to decide if we wanted 3 when the decision was made for us accidentally. I cried for a week when I found out I was pregnant with #3.

    After she came we had 3 kids in one room and we had to buy a new car because 3 car seats wouldn’t fit across our back seat. And now? Not one of us could live without her.

    It’s exactly the same feeling as you posted about here:
    http://www.dooce.com/archives/nubbin/04_27_2006.html.

    People always ask me if it was hard having children 2 and 3. To them I say both were NOWHERE NEAR as hard as going from 0 to 1. Economies of scale and all that. Oh yeah, and my husband got a vasectomy about a week after #3 was born. I’m not completely insane.

  • deannie

    I have always longed for another child and feel pretty lucky to even have the one I have.

    You are asking all the right questions…Ultimately you and your husband will come to the answers in the most natural way, don’t feel like you have to rush this decision. There is always tomorrow.

    Best wishes,

  • MommyofOne

    Heather,

    Our original intentions were to have two children (girls), two years apart. Our intentions were smashed when we had our first girl, who will be four years old in three months. I honestly don’t know how people can parent more than one child. They must have an exceptional amount of patience and energy because this parenting thing is much more difficult than I ever imagined. We’ve enjoyed her so much and have only had minimal urges to have another one. Our life is so comfy right now and I don’t want to go through it all again (PPD is one of many reasons). We’re so comfy that my hubby has a vasectomy scheduled next month. I never knew we would choose this road, until we walked down it.

    To each his own. Whatever you decide will be the perfect choice for your family. Just like you can’t imagine life without Leta, you would get to a point where you couldn’t imagine life without any subsequent children. The financial stuff will take care of itself eventually.