• http://willthink4wine.blogspot.com WillThink4Wine

    She’s coo-coo for Coco Puffs ;-)

    Just got my new Chuckles 2008… awesome!!

  • http://www.curlysu.com curly su

    Okay, so I was just studying for a horrible history exam and am SO glad I stopped to read your blog. You made me laugh when I was about to scream.

    Oh, and my dad used to make me cry when we played Monopoly. Slightly different situation, but same concept…

  • Kelly


    *so* needed that today….thank you for sharing! :)

  • Kate

    What does “Honk Shu” mean? The mind reels…..

  • http://melinor.blogspot.com Melanie

    I used to own a dog that, every time my husband had a cold, would chase after what he coughed up and spit into the backyard.

    I used to think I was a dog person, until I saw the absolute joy with which she romped after my husband’s… effluvia.

    We won’t even talk about how funny he found the whole thing, including my retching and hollering at him to “Do that in the bathroom, ferchrissakes!”

  • sue

    You do have a way with words, I can just picture it! Sorry for the stress, but thanks for the laugh!

  • kim

    ROFLMFAO…my dog eats other dogs shit…classy.

  • http://cursingmama.blogspot.com Cursingmama

    You wore the clogs?

  • Mommy_of_Madi

    This story is really all about BITS isn’t it? Killer story!

  • eka

    Thanks for a tuesday laugh. It’s ok if your dog eats poop, honestly she sniffs the butts of other dogs with that nose so it’s not a big step down to poop eating.

  • kim

    your invites are gorgeous, that shot of the two dogs in the snow with the mountains in the back ground is amazing…and Leta has lashes to die for.

  • Becky

    A post such as this is precisely why I read dooce…to find comfort in the fact I am not the only one who finds themselves in crazy predicaments involving nudity, swearing, poop, dogs, husbands, and small children. Thanks for the dose of reality.

  • Anonymous

    When we lived in NYC, we got used to our dog trying to eat horse poop, etc., but the day he ate homeless person poop was just…UGH. My husband reached in his mouth to pull it out before he realized what it was and – ew, ew, EW – we could NOT get rid of the smell. We’re planning on getting another dog soon and just remembering that day may have delayed the process by another few months!

  • Christina

    I can’t stop laughing! I’m going to be in trouble because my cubicle is not sound proof and I am laughing/snorting very loudly.

  • http://leadballoon.wordpress.com Lauri


    I love it. But I, too, was waiting for the dinner guests to arrive to 1) see your lovely dinner dress and 2) settle the Mario Galaxy dispute between Jon and Leta. LOL!

  • http://www.lilja.no Stellare

    Yeah, I see the problem…

  • http://www.fredericksburglightworks.com Anonymous

    Yeah, this was a pretty good post but you’ll have to go a bit to beat the first one of yours I read which was the one about you and “Clogsquatch” farting in harmony at the fitness center.

    I would advise caution using MSG on the dog poop though. Neighbors may wonder why you are tenderizing it for the dog.

    We had many dogs and found that in winter the best pooper scooper was a 9 iron. Just undercut that bad boy and chip it over the fence where the dog can’t get to it. Bishops

  • Anu

    Holy Shit! I just fell over laughing :-) I’m sorry but that as just too funny. Hope you didn’t catch a cold after all the ‘crap’ you put up with.

  • http://blueeyezz.livejournal.com Mel

    I needed a good laugh. Thank you! :)

    I hope your feet are safe.

  • Meghan

    With the week I am having, I really needed the good laugh this gave me. Thank you.

    p.s. This also reminds me how THANKFUL I am that our pup is now a year and a half. Memory is so forgiving.

  • Jeff

    John, here’s a tip:

    Get a Classic Controller that can attach to the Wiimote. Let Leta play with that and have her shake it when it’s time for you to do some shaking with the Wiimote (like traveling through the star warp things or whatever). She’ll NEVER touch your controller again. I’ve got a 5-year-old and a 2-year-old and a controller for each of them and that’s what they use when I play.

  • http://www.wandderlustig.com/blog Jen

    Omg, what a scene! Sorry for the stressing but it’s also hilarious at the same time :-) The crap-eating dog scenario happened to my mom more than a decade ago, but yours is more funny because Mom was at least dressed.

  • Heather

    Ok, I know everyone hates Crocs, but mine are MEDICALLY recommended! I had some crazy cancer surgeries on my tibia, down by my ankle and now my left foot swells up to crazy sizes, and Crocs are the only shoes that will fit that foot. Surely my fat cancer foot qualifies me for a free shitty clog pass! Until I can find a better pair of shoes that will fit my giant foot as well as plastic clogs do, I say fie.

  • http://www.sueandcharlotte.blogspot.com Charlotte

    You really ARE living the dream.

    Apparently when dogs eat their own feces, it’s because they eat too quickly and the food doesn’t totally digest… therefore it still smells (and tastes) like fresh food to them. So maybe you could feed her more often, but less at each time? Just a thought.

    Of course, she could just be a crazy, shit-eating dog. It’s hard to say.

    Also… do you think that people who do competitive eating have this issue?

  • Sharon

    Oh My God! We’re on our third dog that does that!! So instead of just letting her out, we have to go out and wait for her to go and then clean it up immediately. It is the worst. The children don’t even need that much supervision! We’ve tried MSG, tabasco sauce, some horrible spray that is used to get dogs to stop chewing the furniture and I think it was just enhancement for the poop. Makes me crazy.

  • http://www.pollycolephotography.com Polly

    hello from los angeles. yes, i made the mistake of putting on a long sleeved shirt this morning. by the time i came home from running errands with the windows rolled down and music blasting (tori amos, it was that kind of day), the sweat had pooled under my arms, darkening the green of my shirt in little ovals. and although my husband and i are about to buried by our mortgage – we are indeed very warm.

  • http://www.threeseven.ca Shannon


  • red

    hilarious. thanks for the afternoon giggle…

  • Peg

    I can’t believe you wore the clogs.

  • http://studentloanadvice.blogspot.com 529

    I say you should have let Coco lick Jon’s face to console him over his lost Star Bits.

  • http://howeveralthough.typepad.com Mandy

    Poop eating is all too common with a dominant female so watch out – there will be other issues – and I’ve never been able to completely break a dog that has this nasty habit…
    A vet told me about this powder once and said, “Put this on her food and it will make her poop taste bad.” Really? It’s not bad enough as is?
    What was Chuck doing? Can’t he hold down the fort for you?

  • http://seehearspeaknoevil.com jess

    duuuuuude. LMAO.

    this is life at my house. honestly, i’m just grateful to hear that my dog, the shih tzu (should be spelled shit zoo), isn’t the ONLY dog who eats her own shit like it’s dinner.

    our boxer also eats poo, but never her own. she prefers the chicken poo, but enjoys a tasty snack of cat turds every now and then. yum.

  • http://mypieceoftheworld.blogspot.com Mary

    LAUGHING MY ASS OFF OUT LOUD AT WORK…getting strange looks from my boss!

  • http://www.hopesmommy.blogspot.com Melissa

    I’m so glad to know I’m not the only one that has crazy shit like that happen. Did Coco get to gargle with some Scope or did you give her a little brusha brusha?

  • http://mette.ca kristin

    i haven’t even finished reading – - too funny – - tears in my eyes – - still thinking of the ‘glitter in your veins’ – - and i can’t believe you wore the clogs!

  • dewi

    Dogs that eat their poop are either bored, or have a vitamin deficiency.
    Coco does not sound bored!

  • Lue

    Two very good reasons why I do not have children or pets. I hope there’s enough bourbon around for you to recover sufficiently. :-)

  • wendy

    My puppy is a shit-eater too. Except it was my four years, left in the potty chair, and evidently too delicious to leave. I gagged, and my kid laughed. Why? Does Cesar know the answer to this?

  • http://alivicwil.livejournal.com alivicwil

    I know it’s counter-intuitive, but if you’re trying to catch your dog, running away from her is supposed to cause her to chase you… right into the house.

    Thankfully, I’ve never seen my dogs eat poop. Vomit? Well that’s a whole ‘nother story.

  • http://kathy-p.blogspot.com/ Kathy

    That’s too funny. (And I’m kind of glad my only example of animal picas comes courtesy of a friend: “Um gross. A cat just threw up and the dog is eating it.”)

  • Debbie

    Oh, Heather and this is just the beginning! I have a McNab, which is a variation of a Border Collie. Belle is 10 years old and still has boundless energy in terms of sheer never wanting to stop! So when it comes to these herding type of dogs, it is a huge challenge to give them enough exercise and activities to keep them happy. Belle and I have gone through Agility and Flyball and every other type of dog sport out there. If I had been the athlete that she is — and I’m just the opposite — and not have to work full time, we would have made quite the team; but since I’m not, she’s had to settle for tennis ball and frisbee for hours on end every single day for the last 9 years and 10 months. Good luck with your little monster herder!

  • http://hmft.blogspot.com HMFT

    I just thought of you and Jon’s clogs.

    Nab yourself a pair of these:


    I trudge outside in mine all the time. Well, not through mud and tons of snow. But an inch or two of snow.

  • J. D.

    I so understand Britney Spears better now, gettin’ snapped without her panties.

  • Roberto Boone

    Not the Star Bits!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    I know how Jon feels. It takes a long time to aquire those bitches and they can be wasted away so quickly!

  • Heidi

    Wow! That was hysterical.

  • http://www.idolreview.net laura

    Man, I wish your neighbors had a blog…I’d love to hear this story from their perspective!!! :)

  • Krissa

    Heather, Heather, Heather…I am going to suggest you get away for a while. Dare I say it? Southern California is a good vacation spot…

  • http://www.lifeisnuts.blogspot.com Nytro

    oh. my. god. becky.

    that sounds pretty much like the time i chased a rat out of my house in the snow… fresh out of a shower… no shoes… just a bathrobe.

    minus the feces.

  • Sarah Burbridge

    Oh my gosh. I laughed till it hurt. I have a 9 month old fox hound who has been the most challenging dog I have ever had. She is also the smartest, but she uses her intellect for EVIL!! Thank you sooooo much. It is nice to know I am not the only one who has been bested in the backyard by a puppy.

  • http://www.eatersregret.wordpress.com Eater’s Regret

    Aww poor Dooce, I really sympathise. So many times I have donned the overcoat to do some dog wrangling – can be extremely drafty! Recently I heard my dogs barking outside and a man shouting – so I ran outside without thinking (to protect them from some crazy bastard of course) – I was in my teeny pink Winnie the pooh nightdress and no shoes. Did I mention it was raining and the man was my neighbour!