A list of sorts

1. Several people have written to express their frustration over the fee to get into SXSW to see my panel next week (I totally understand), so right now I’m trying to arrange a meet-up somewhere in downtown Austin, probably at a coffee shop, for Saturday morning (March 8th). Once I know the specific details I let you know the when and the where.

2. Coco pooped in the car yesterday. In the car. While we were driving.

3. I have a manuscript due in about a week. There’s this quote I heard once, I don’t remember who said it, but it was a writer, and when asked about her favorite part of writing a book she said something like, “When it was over.” THOSE ARE THE TRUEST WORDS EVER UTTERED.

4. It’s a little late in the month to address the masthead at the top of the page, but I feel I need to calm any lingering fears over whether or not Chuck is dead. He is not. He is alive and moody. The masthead was designed to celebrate the 7th birthday of this website, and that cursive font was a bad choice because some people thought it said ADIEU when in fact it says BODIED, and when set against Chuck’s head it looked very much like a tombstone, or at least I was told so. Sorry for the confusion, I’ll try harder next time to be clearer about my message. Also, yes, I know you’re not supposed to give grapes to dogs, I promise he didn’t eat any, although he wasn’t interested in them anyway as they weren’t made out of cow.

5. It’s a tradition around here to open comments on the birthday of the website, so I thought I’d mix things up a bit this year and turn it into a contest. What should my March tagline be? Winner, as chosen by the official panel of judges (me), gets a $50 iTunes gift card.


  • http://www.luckymagpie.com magpie

    Dooce: No room for me, no fun for you.

    Dunno why, other than I’m listening to David Bowie right now and it seemed appropriate. Love you by the way. Heaps!

  • Stephanie

    Dooce: corrupting the minds of children (and some small animals too)

  • http://chaellyboo.blogspot.com/ Michaela

    Dooce: Flirting with the edge of sanity since 2001.
    (and maybe a picture of chuck with a birthday hat tipped off to the side of his head, like a crazy man…)

    Happy 7th!!!

  • Jerri

    Tagline: Free to run and scratch.

    This is written on the box of cage free eggs we buy. Makes us laugh every time we see it. In fact my husband has adopted it as his personal motto.

  • Katrina

    How about

    Old and moldy, but still worth the read.

    Not to suggest that you or anyone in your family is old or moldly, but merely that 7 is a long ass time for a website to be around :P

  • http://kyanandaspen.blogspot.com Kandace

    Marinating in the Bathtub

  • http://www.flickr.com/photos/leeputmanjr/ Mr. Oblivios

    MARCH! (Not quite as shitty as Feburary)

  • Aron

    Coco Go Bragh (means Coco Forever)

  • http://www.aimstarr.net/blog/ aimee in va

    Everyone poops

  • http://worldsareforming.blogs.com Josh

    No great tag lines for you, but a few great Austin coffee shops for you…

    Little City
    Dominican Joe’s

    Hope SXSW goes well!

  • Angelina

    Dooce < Coco = poop
    ’cause some of us feel like a poop and some of us don’t…

  • Heather

    Beware the ides of Chuck

    …with a picture of Chuck wearing a toga.

  • JA

    March tag line…

    “Dooce.com: nothing but the straight poop” (use of Coco imagery in some manner or fashion in the masthead).

    Thank you.

  • Meredith

    My Lab puked up a wad of grass in my car once, while I was moving. I also had a cat puke remnants of a mouse on my shoe, in a jeep, while it was moving. I feel your pain.

  • Anonymous

    Dooce: With a hint of “eau de dog poo” scent

  • Ryan

    “Dooce: It beats having shit in your backseat.”

  • LB

    one more:

    “I don’t give a shit.”

  • Miranda

    Here’s a tag line, hope I’m not repeating anyone else:

    Dooce: Some of us have more trouble pooping than others.

  • http://zazamataz.com Zazzy

    Congratulations on 7 years of blogging. Well over 1000 comments? You’ll never make it this far down the list. At least I wouldn’t.

    As for tag lines – spring is almost here, the book is almost done, Jon’s mystery illness is hopefully better, maybe it’s time for the sun to shine and happiness to permeate the Armstrong household.

    From Freedom – “now I’m gonna get myself happy”

  • http://perfectlyshelly.blogspot.com Shelly


  • cranky kat

    mine is: “cranky for a reason”

    but ‘puppy-whipped’ is truly awesome.

  • Suzy

    “Still trying to remove head from ass, one day at a time…just like Britney!”

    Love your blog! Been a reader for over 2 years!!

  • Lisa

    Hey! Love your site……Read it daily.

    You could do a version of the March of the Penguins with Coco and have chuck somewhat under her(like her little baby) since she is so into him! Ane the fact that she is black and white really lends itself to the Penguin theme.


    “March Madness? with a play on the basketball theme…….you could have poop(pieces of chocolate/coco) as the basketballs.

  • chaz

    “Don’t you people ever go on the Internet??” or some such derivation.

  • c3str

    “From constipation to perpetual puppy pooping with regular stops in between.”

    “Poop: from one extreme, to the other.”

    Or something even more witty that bridges the gap between chronic constipation and perpetual puppy pooping.

  • http://allhailsuburbia.thewanderingwolf.biz kate

    These suggestions of a tagline have me in absolute tears of laughter.

    My first thought was: “Dooce: Stepping in our own poop since 2008″

  • http://www.gracielouwho.com gracielou

    “you’re right, the puppy must be autistic.”

  • http://www.actualblue.com David

    “Haters Can Go Fly a Kite” Because isn’t March the best month for flying kites? I seem to recall from my childhood.

  • http://burnettadventures.blogspot.com Christina

    “Poopy puppy power!”

  • Anonymous

    Green With Anticipation

  • slate

    “Dooce: Celebrating 7 years of self-esteem hinging on the fleeting ethereal comments of total strangers”

  • Ana C.

    They say the truth is always best so why not:

    “It’s my site and I can bitch if I want to”

  • Lisa

    How about “Coco Poops–Not Just for Breakfast Anymore”

  • stephaniec

    “Like a panty-less romp through the snow”

  • http://trishsdiary.wordpress.com trish

    The Writer’s Block, and Chuck should be balancing a big block on his head.

  • Angela

    Can spring be far behind?

  • Erin

    “Stop! …Oh oh oh ooooooh ooooooooh ow ow ow oh stop oh stop oooooh owwwww uhhhhh owww uhhhh I can’t breathe! Since 1991.”

  • http://www.jillshalvis.com/blog Jill S.

    I’m a writer too, with my own deadline next week, and my favorite part of my job is typing in THE END.

  • Auntie P

    The Hounds of March: Et Tu Coco.

  • Michael M/

    Its probably a little too passe to have it be FIRST! LOLZ!

    so I’m going with “Four out of five of us dont shit on the floor”–or some permutation


    “Dooce: Best dressed Disney Princess since Hocas Pontas”. WITH a requisite picture of Chuck ‘balancing’ a tiara on his head.

  • Anonymous

    Dooce: The quicker picker upper.
    Dooce: Wife, Mother, Blogger, Dog Whisperer
    Dooce: The 7 year itch

  • http://insearchofbeing.wordpress.com/ r-dean

    Delurking to vote for these, cause i can’t think for myself ;-)
    I’ve been reading since 2001 and have never been bored. Thanks!

    #13 Jordan: Ignoring your unsolicited advice since 2001
    #53 Courtney: The American Dream: Princesses, Prozac and poop.

    And what are Candadians? I hope that wasn’t a dig at Canadians, cause we ROCK ;-)

    #86 Irritating the humorless masses since 2001″

    #93 Shea: Talking dirty to Mormans since 2001.

    #179 Boat sailor: – Coco-Chucks ~ No milk required…

    #201 Patty: “Dooce: The FUN in dysFUNctional”

  • Lisa

    Just one more: Since 2001: A Poop Odyssey

    Works on a number of levels, don’t you think?

  • J

    Brain full of skittles

  • Anonymous

    “it sucked and then i cried. the end.”

    no line you’ve written has been more perfect than that.

  • anonymous

    You’re (sic) misplaced apostrophes make me twitch. And not in the good, bacony way.

  • Erin

    Oopsies, I meant 2001.

  • Wynema

    “I used to care, but now I take a pill for that”…I actually have that saying in my cubicle at work.

  • Aimee

    Now with double the doggie flavor.

  • Nicole

    “America’s newest snack idea!”