Three, two, one…

There was this one time when I asked a whole bunch of people if they would help me put together a book, some of them close friends, others whose work I had admired for years, and I remember one exchange in particular when this one guy said SURE! and the excitement I experienced was not unlike what I imagine it would feel like to impregnate Angelina Jolie myself.

That book comes out today:

the book

It’s called Things I Learned About My Dad (in therapy) and it’s a collection of essays about fatherhood from the perspective of fathers, wives, daughters and sons. I’ve written two of the 17 essays, one about my father and one about Jon. A few weeks ago I gave my father an advance copy of the book with the hope that he would read what I had written, but I didn’t say anything to him other than HERE IS MY HEART AND SOUL, DO WITH IT WHAT YOU WILL. I found out a week later that he had taken it home and used it to prop up a wobbly toilet. I like to think that I improved his life by those two inches.

The other authors are Kevin Guilfoile, Matthew Baldwin, Matt LaPlante, Alice Bradley, Doug French, James Griffioen, Greg Allen, Greg Knauss, Maggie Mason, my hot geek husband Jon Armstrong, Leah Peterson, Sarah Brown, Eden Kennedy, Gail Armstrong, and my man in Houston, Bill Farrell. I am eternally indebted to these people for their hard work and cooperation and for making this book such a spectacular collection of emotion: humor, sorrow, frustration, joy, and forgiveness. I won’t say which, but one of these essays completely transformed me, and I’m a better person for having read it.

Starting today the book is available at the following retailers:

Barnes and Noble
Kensington Books

On Thursday June 5 I’m going to be doing a signing at a local bookstore called The King’s English on 15th East in Salt Lake City. I’ll be sure to post more specific details as that date draws near and would encourage everyone to come and say hello even if you don’t want to bother with the book. I haven’t ever done a local meet and greet and thought this would be the perfect occasion. But be warned, I am known to bite. And suddenly break out into song.

I don’t think the publisher is sending me anywhere to do press or signings, but I’ve had a few requests from readers who wanted to know if they could send me their copy so that I could sign it and then send it back to them. I’m more than happy to do this as long as you include return postage (please send it to the address on my contact page), and what the hell, I’ll tuck a little extra something into the envelope. I promise it won’t be gross. Maybe.

Finally, I want to thank my editor Danielle Chiotti whose name should be right next to mine on the cover of the book given how much work she did to get this thing out the door. She is a superhero, and I can’t thank her enough for hanging in there with me. Also, my agent Betsy Lerner, who has been my tireless advocate for over three years. She has suffered endlessly, and I owe her a beer.


  • Emma!

    I have pre-ordered mine from amazon, but I have to wait another 2 WEEKS for it to be released in the UK!!!!

    Congratulations Heather, looking forward to more literary wonders!

  • Petit Elefant

    That’s absolutely fantastic. Congratulations. I might have to come to the Kings English just to snatch a peek at you in the flesh. No, I didn’t mean it like that.

  • larkspur

    Hey, Heather – good work.

    I’ll get your book from my local independent bookseller (I’m lucky to have one in the neighborhood: since it showed up as “in stock or available ASAP” in their searchable database. Book Passage has stores in Corte Madera and San Francisco, and they are all about the author readings, so even if you don’t get sent on an all-expenses-paid Book Tour, I know you sometimes come to SF, so you should read aloud when you do, kthx.

    PS: I like the cover. Tasteful. Not cartooney. Refreshing.

  • Ms. Single Mama

    Congrats! I LOVE the cover and can’t wait to read it.

    Thanks to you many, many more Mommy bloggers might one day be authors. Is bacon falling from the sky yet? : )

    Ms. Single Mama

  • Nancy

    Congratulations, kiddo. You must feel like you’ve just given birth to an elephant!

  • Teri

    So now you need to push for the audio book — read by you. I want to hear your voice.

  • Rubbish Parent

    Holy cow.

    I’ve just had a huge penny drop.

    See, a while ago you posted a picture of you with Bill.

    And a little while later I was in a store, buying something for my precocious 4 year old, ably assisted by a wonderful guy who looked REALLY familiar.

    Then I checked back on his blog and the picture of his sneakers confirmed it.

    It’s a small, small world. And now I feel like I’m one person closer to stalking you. (Just kidding)

  • Christine

    Good job Heather! My copy is on its way from Amazon and I look forward to reading it. I love your site and I am a loyal dooce fan for the past 2-3 years!


  • dogfaceboy

    Congratulations! Betsy is my agent, too, and I adore her.

  • Leon

    * * * * * * * BLURBODOOCERY POPULARITY ALERT * * * * * * *

    Hearty congratulations guys. I just picked up the last 2 copies of the new read in any of the 3 Orange County CA Barnes & Noble stores. They had to actually fetch it from the back. One for me (the Blurbodoocery fan) and one for the wife (the Defective Yeti fan). Something told me we wouldn’t be able to wait for the other to finish it. We’d have purchased 100 if we could. You guys are a cause we happily support however we can.

    We wish you all (yes, even Coco) continued success. Thanks so much for all the serious funny through the years.

    One last thing. When the movie rights come through, don’t forget about all the little people.

  • RubiaLala

    Woo hoo!

  • T. McArthur

    I’m sorry to spoil all your fun, but the book looks dull and empty. Nothing to catch the reader. Maybe the author hasn’t found themself.

  • The N.

    That is awesome – I am very happy for you! I need to get a copy because I am afraid of therapy and I still have some learning to do….

  • Jamie

    Congrats! I ordered one as soon as I read this post :)

  • val cox

    I’m so proud of you, this is great! I can’t wait to buy and read this special book!

  • Jonathon Morgan

    Congratulations on all the success! Can’t wait to read the new book. Knowing what a rabid fan my fiance is, I’m actually surprised we don’t already have a copy to fight over.

  • elisabeth

    A very big CONGRATULATIONS to you! I’ll be swinging by Barnes and Noble after a visit with the family. I’m sure I’ll have trouble closing it until I’ve finished, and I CAN’T WAIT.

  • Lester

    Heather: My girl friend turned me on to your blog. I have two daughters who are now 25 & 28. Your wonderful stories about Lita take me back to the days when my girls were small. I laugh a lot and feel all warm and nostalgic. On the flip side I remember the parenting side and I admire you and John and your ability to let Lita be who she is. This is the most important part, she is lucky to have you.

    Best of luck with the book. I’m going to buy one and then drive my car over it. NO NO NO. Yust a Yoke.

    You have inspired me to start my own blog about my long and modestly successful business career. Who knows what might happen. Maybe I’ll see you in Austin or at some other awards dinner sometime. Perhaps I could hold a door open for you.


  • Bill


    This is only Book One!!!

  • SSD

    Just ordered it…arriving Monday…can’t wait!

  • Robin

    Any book with Chucks on the cover is a book I wanna read.

  • Honey

    Way to go! I can’t wait to read it!

  • girlwiththemask

    Are you going to take all of your clothes off and run through your local town square again in celebration?

  • Anonymous

    congrats heather. question: what’s up with the powell’s version of the cover showing a man’s dress show and the amazon cover, converse?

  • Katie

    Did you Dad REALLY use your book to prop up the toilet?????

  • Joanne

    Hopefully you will read down this far! You are NOW officially my hero. Not for publishing the book, but for the comment about Angelina Jolie. Holy smokes, where do you get this stuff? Congrats girl!

  • Sarah

    I actually read that your were SINGING and I took a double take .. because, I recalled how great your voice was in your little webcam video the other day!

    I’m excited to read your book ..and, may just pass it on to my husband as a father’s day gift after ward! :)

    You’re a neat person, Heather.

  • Chelsea

    Wow. Congratulations Heather!! I can’t even imagine how amazing it would feel to have the book out there in people’s homes. I’ll be buying my copy from Amazon, unless it’s going to be available in Australia?? Can’t wait to read it.

  • Ash

    I’m so excited to get my hands on this book!!

  • Trevors Mom

    I am so happy for the Armstrong Family. FINALLY some nice things are coming your way. What a beautiful family you have. I admire you and your honesty, your talent, your beauty and your ability to laugh at yourself. I am also envious of the admiration that you and your husband have for eachother. You are all so lucky to have eachother. However, your accent and pronunciation of many words is horrific and even that makes me happy because you don’t get to be perfect in every way.

    I predict huge super-stardom for you. I predicted same for J.K. Rowling WAY before anybody knew who Harry Potter was…

  • Meredith

    I’m stopping at a book store as soon as I get out of work. I’m definitely looking forward to the book! I’ll also be buying a copy for a friend . . who enjoys your blog, but doesn’t get to check in too often. Can’t wait!

  • Stephanie

    Congratulations – cannot wait to read your book! I really admire you – so glad that you do this thing you do.

  • Laura Thompson

    Congratulations on your book! This is really exciting.

  • SusannahS

    You rock! (But you already know that) I can’t wait to pick up a copy.

  • Devon

    You are such a studmuffin! Go, Heather, GO! My first stop after work today is B&N to scoop up your book. Ohhhh, the excitement! *grin* Love your site, love what you’re doing. Keep it up, dammit. =)

  • Crys

    Dear Heather,

    please come to Pheonix so that I can see you and then proceed to scream like a little school girl because OMG ITS DOOOOOOOOOCCCCEEEEEEE!!!!


    PS, once I purchase my copy of your fantabulous book I will be mailing it to you for an autograph.

  • Beth

    Congratulations – such a great accomplishment and a fab group of contributors!!

  • CJ

    I tried to count the number of times people had written ‘congrats’ or ‘congratulations’ … I got to 137 and stopped counting because my eyes were glazing over. I’ll just say I’m jealous. Very. Very. Jealous. Damn.

  • Cooble

    First of all Congratz, and now that thats out of the way I had a very hard time buying your book at my local Barnes & Noble. For full story check out my post at the post is titled “She’s worth a Dooce”

  • dee

    Kudos! Looking forward to many more books from you.

  • Kbee

    Congrats, Heather! Excited for you! This book is going to be hah-uge. Can’t wait to get my copy and devour it before the dog does. Yay!

  • Jen

    Mazel tov! I am soooo going to steal this idea but have it be about my mother (I’m sure THAT’S never been done!). Looking forward to reading it.

  • Theresa

    Congratulations! I pre-ordered a copy weeks ago, and cannot wait to read it. I’m sure I will not be disappointed.

  • Sarah

    Congratulations! Just ordered it. Can’t wait to read it.

  • Cara

    Kudos on a wonderful accomplishment! As a faithful Dooce reader and someone w/ a challenging (read: bi-polar) relationship with her father, I cannot wait to read it.

    The weather is nice in SF right now. Next time you’re here visiting friends, please consider a book signing. I’ll drag my sisters and lovely mother up for a girls day out in the city just to say hello!


  • kalia

    I find myself itching to see what you’ve been up to often … though I’ve only been peeking into your world for a few weeks. I began an “athletic mom” blog many years ago, but since discontinued it to spend more time actually writing my best friends on an individual basis (through lots of texting and emails to get my writing fix).

    Yes, I enjoy Heather, but am curious what the top reasons are … that others reach out to touch her world as well. What truly is the greatest fascination … especially as it appears she’s cut down on the tell-all real personal provocative stuff (are you listening Heather? we want dirt … just so we can know you, and consequently know ourselves better).

    Thanks for sharing. And you validate me in my desire to tap the keyboard … and the pie-in-the-sky dream of authoring a book feels more doable with your accomplishment in hand. Kudos.

  • Kelly

    AHHH! I’m so excited to read it! Congratulations…what a huge accomplishment!

  • Amy

    Congrats Heather!

  • Anne

    I picked up my own copy from the office today (stupid mailman can’t be bothered to put it into our actual mailbox) and immediately plunked down on bed and proceeded to 1) smack my boyfriends hands away so he couldn’t read it first and 2) ignored the work I was suppose to be doing. Heh. Oops.

    Must say brilliantly done! I’ve flipped through and read your essays as well as Maggie and Jon’s. I’m very excited to read through the rest of it (graduation work be damned. It’ll still be there tomorrow) and will probably get a copy for my own father to show him while I’m a pain in the ass, I still care.

    Congrats Heather and Jon and everyone! :)

  • John Walker

    So I grew up in England but left when I was 17 yrs old. I went to university over here (1993-97) in the USA (BYU, Utah) and then moved to Orange County Califonia to work – where I still reside because I like it here more than the UK. My question is this – if you dislike Mormonism why are you still living in Utah? If you were raised Catholic and didn’t want to be Catholic anymore would you go and live in the Vatican? I don’t get why you would stay in a place you don’t like and just complain – life’s too short – just move to where you are happy (away from Mormonville) and be happier with your life.