• http://ameliasprout.blogspot.com Amelia Sprout

    I really don’t understand people who don’t have dog and kids at the same time (you know, not themselves, like adopt the kid or something). I can’t imagine having to clean up all of the little crumbs. I would go insane.

  • Erin

    I would not live life without a dog-buster. They make food throwing acceptable to deal with.

  • Alexis

    I, too, desperately want to know why you go upstairs to your kitchen. I’m sure you can find a crafty way to share this information without getting too personal, right?

    Because I enjoy insanity as much as the next dog lover, we are welcoming a puppy in May that will surely challenge our German Shepherd when it comes to receiving the blessings-from-heaven that my 6 month-old, 5 year-old, and 7 year-old bestow upon my wood floors. I can’t wait!

  • http://www.andyjessaddison.blogspot.com Jessica

    Our sad little cat has caught on to what a food gold mine the kiddo is. I catch our CAT eating blueberries, wheat thins, pasta, corn. It’s amazing…but the floor is still filthy.

  • http://www.somethingstephanie.blogspot.com Stephanie

    I just adore your blog. Thanks for being a bright spot in my day.

    I can perfectly picture our dog, Missy doing the exact same thing once we have kids. Right now all she has to look forward to is my horribly messy cooking abilities :)

  • Christina

    Pets are a riot. I miss having them. We’re working ourselves up to a rabbit, maybe. This is really making me want a dog though. Especially considering the fact that I have to mop under my table every day due to my three messy eaters. The time I could save…

  • http://believeintheflowers.blogspot.com KAS

    That dog really will fucking die when The Next Kid arrives. She will probably have a happy seizure and the world may also end.

    I look forward to pictures of the aftermath once finger foods start.

  • Angela

    “she would casually step outside, wander along the perimeter of the patio, leisurely stretch her legs and then lie down. Like, oh, I’m sorry, were you in the middle of something? Because I just wanted to get a head start on being an asshole.”

    I just figured that out THIS VERY MORNING. Now the little shit can wait until I’m good and ready to go for a walk.

    Also, my captcha is “million appliqued” and I feel like my IP mistook me for Martha Stewart.

  • http://mediumcrazy.wordpress.com mediumcrazy

    This site always makes me smile, but this time I actually laughed out loud, so thanks. Also, I love being rewarded with a long post in return for the seventy-five times per day that I check your site.

  • Apple

    This is one of your best posts in quite some time.

    I used to enjoy reading your blog 4 years ago when you came across as so much more authentic–even though I didn’t much care for your scatalogical humor. I can understand if the criticism over the years has caused you to become more guarded. But at the same time, I wish your current writing didn’t usually sound so contrived.

    Cool layout, though.

  • Deanna

    This has little to do with the actual post, even though I love a good canine vacuum cleaner. But to all those inquiring about the kitchen being on the second floor, I grew up in such a house–the living room, kitchen, a bathroom and two bedrooms were on the second floor. The master bedroom, bath, family room and office were on the first floor. This was because our house was built into the side of a hill.

    Based on that experience, I would bet a dollar the Blurbodoocery is built into a hill with the front facing uphill and the back facing downhill, so you come through the main entry on what is technically the second finished level of the house and go downstairs (or to what most people would think is a finished basement) to access the other rooms.

    I’d have bet more than a dollar, but, hey, recession. Do I get a dollar? :-D

  • http://adventurekait.wordpress.com kaitlyn sage

    Can I just tell you… ok, so two things.

    One: tipsy commenting on other people’s blogs is the best.
    Two: my dear 90 pound lap dog (husky/golden retriever mix) wakes up every single morning at the crack of dawn and paces until I tear myself out of my nice warm bed to let him out. At that point he makes a lap around the yard, pees ever so quickly and then comes to sit at the door at attention, whimpering until I let him back inside so that he can collapse in exactly the same spot he left roughly 45 seconds before.

    Don’t you love them?

  • Texas mama

    Oh, does my family love the “herding” dogs !  We once had a Shetland Sheepdog and your Coco so reminds me of her.  Our Pepper would herd our kids in the front yard as they played.  I am sure she would have done it for hrs. if we allowed her to do it for that long. You can’t stop a dog from doing it, either !  So, don’t even try ! Also, count me in on the fan club for your clean floors ! Amazing !
    And I almost rented a house once that the kitchen was upstairs !

  • http://www.xanga.com/yourfavoritecynic Ray

    Hahaha! Coco sounds like quite the dog. ;D

  • http://d2dmad.blogspot.com/ Dani

    Awwww pets are awesome. You make me want to go hug my two dogs. I’m only going to hug the one that’s here though ’cause I’m way to lazy to go find the other one. She’s probably following my daughter around hoping for treats too.

  • Martha

    ……..mmmm a “thought bubble”
    you mean Coco’s exploding “thought bubble”?
    boy, do i miss having a dog, freakin’ cats are all over the counterops and tables. I can’t stand it.
    Last pup we had even cleared up cucumber ends and
    Mr. Lickyface would wipe off the yogurt tops and even try oranges.
    Time for another pup!

    see link below on how dogs make us feel good (oxycontin)
    in The Toronto Star- Toronto. Canada

    Martha sans dog but waiting to Foster again for DGC


  • Martha

    Oooooops (a BIG OOPS!) I meant oxycontin
    what was I thinking? (or not)


  • http://www.durvy.com Devon

    While I was denied a dog when I was a child, I did have a very fat cat… who used to sit by me and my sister and wait for us to drop our food down.

    She would also lick the dishes if they were left out on the counter. No dishwasher necessary. :)

  • Anonymous

    Check out the edible diapers fake commercial from saturday night live. It is hilarious.

  • http://www.tapsnbaths.com/Products/Category/Bath-Screens Bath Screen

    All I have to add is that you DEFINITELY need to make your diaper bin lockable, I dont think I need to go into too much further detail do I!!!


  • http://doadw.blogspot.com Miranda

    Awesome. I love that I could totally picture the whole scene. My mom calls her mini schnauzer her “hoover” and she loves when the grand kids come to visit.

  • http://professionalcritic.blogspot.com Professional Critic

    I heart Coco. This is one of the sad things about having cats: they never EVER clean up after me. Even if I dropped salmon on the floor, they would still leave gunky bits behind, cause that’s how they roll.

  • Michelle

    I got our dog in the hopes that the daily sweeping of the kitchen floor,with two sloppy boys at the table, would end. Suffice it to say that I didn’t realize we got a dog that ate all their leavings but also brought in EVERYTHING from the outside – clumps of dirt, rocks, leaves, and God knows what. Oh well.

  • http://tinykorean.com Anneli

    Oh man, I really miss having dogs. :( I so wish my life could accommodate one at the moment, but alas.

  • http://bea.typepad.com Bea

    Classic post Heather – really, I love your writing. I can actually visualise your kitchen and the sliding coco underneath Leta’s chair (where I imagine she is ignoring his attention).

  • http://www.cococozy.com Coco

    Your Coco sounds so cute!

  • http://www.soeursdujour.com Kath

    I can see it’s going to be a problem for Coco deciding which chair to sit under when the new sib is dropping food too! Cute story.

  • http://etlilleoejeblik.blogspot.com/ trinsch

    this is the very reason i am considering a dog. oh, can my boys make a mess! but then again, a dog might leftovers on the floors, but apparently sometimes it goes for dog poo as well, i’ve heard. btw: love the expression on your face in the momversation today.

  • Chelsea

    Coco is frickin hilarious. Your dogs remind me so much of my own! One of mine, Spark, has decided that every time he comes back inside from the backyard, he deserves a treat. If he doesn’t get one, he runs around the house barking until he gets his way (no prizes for guessing which of your dogs he reminds me of!)

  • http://www.housedeal.org Magda

    Doggy vacuums are environmentally friendly.

  • http://lipstickdaily.com Elaine at Lipstickdaily

    I swear I’ve been begging RC to get a dog so I don’t have to look at those damn disgusting floors under the kids chairs anymore. Not that I would actually sweep them or anything.

  • http://retardedinlove.com Michelle

    But does breastmilk and baby food taste that good to a dog?

  • MiniHipster

    I am surprised Leta hasn’t caught on yet! wait until she decides she doesn’t want to eat something…..lucky Coco!

  • http://www.emilysmusings.com Emily

    Thanks for the good laugh!

  • http://bushbabe.blogspot.com Bush Babe

    Actually… after cleaning up the half a bowl of spaghetti from the floor at the breakfast bench tonight, I am upping the ante for another Great Dane. Anti-theft devices AND built-in vaccuum cleaners. I had forgotten!

    Thanks Heather.

  • http://www.bitsofhappy.blogspot.com Steph VW

    Bentley, my miniature schnauzer, (now in doggy heaven) did not like children. I don’t know if it was a terrier thing or if something had happened to him, but we had to watch him when children were about.

    One summer at the cottage, he discovered that my youngest nephew was awfully messy while eating. Bentley took up a watchful position beside Ben’s high chair and didn’t give it up all week. Ben, for his part, would grin and drop Cheerios in what he thought was the best game ever. If it hadn’t been for the cereal, Bentley would have eaten Ben’s feet, I’m sure.

  • Melissa

    I so love the way you tell stories! It really brightens my day.

  • http://www.phatchik.blogspot.com Phatchik

    I heart dogs.

  • http://www.shecheatedonme.blogspot.com The Confused Husband

    There is NOTHING like the eyes of a dog about to receive/steal/abscond with people food.

  • http://jessw327.blogspot.com Jessica

    You are totally making me smile lately!

  • Kami

    My five year old went to open the crate to let one of our two dogs out, and I said don’t do that right now. He wordlessly pointed at the yogurt he had just dropped on the floor, to which I replied, “Get a napkin!”

  • http://www.iambossy.com/ BOSSY

    One more reason Pet Goldfish have fallen out of favor.

  • http://lumbarfamily.blogspot.com Fanannie

    Damn! I am SOOOOO impressed that you spelled diphtheria correctly! Was that spell check or did you nail it yourself?! Do you know how many people spell that wrong? That and ophthalmologist…

  • Parsla

    Your kitchen is upstairs?

  • Amanda

    Seriously great post! I can picture every moment. That’s what I love about dooce.

  • The niffer

    Coco may be nutty and intolerable, but she is awesome fodder for your stories.

  • Jen

    Thank you. I so needed a laugh this morning and you did it. Toast to Coco and the hilarious writer. :)

  • http://www.davidandtracie.com Davezwife

    I just love your guts. Love your stories, love your antics, love it. Love your piks too, and would KILL for a couple of tutorials on how you get your looks. Maybe just a tidbit, on skin tones? Dog fur? Just got my 1st DSLR because I wanna be just like Dooce. But sane. bbruuhaaaaa!!

  • http://coconutbelly.blogspot.com jen

    my youngest will drop things on the floor at restaurants and yell “skyeeeeee!” (the dog) …
    ohmygod … wow! what a great idea! a restaurant with dogs running around … you would save tons o’ money on floor cleaners! (shh … don’t tell anyone … i came up with the idea first. but then again … i didn’t read through all the comments.)

  • Luann

    you go UPSTAIRS to have breakfast?