• http://www.dutchblitz.net/ Angella

    So I am guessing that Mormon wives are the biggest sluts on the planet?

  • http://www.highlandscotherns.blogspot.com Kaylyn

    The person who sent you that email is a fucking idiot.

    I am one of these wives that you speak of, so apparently that makes me a slut that likes to fuck her husband too. I guess you have become a bad influence on me. How does that make you feel Heather?

    I don’t understand where people like this think that sending those kinds of emails will make them look smart in ANY way. I don’t think that person should ever be allowed to procreate.

    They really don’t come any more stupid than that!

  • Sandra


    I think I love you (in a very frient-to-friend type of way).

    Thanks for the Friday afternoon laughs!

  • Jen

    Husband fuckers unite! There should be tee-shirts. Maybe in red?

  • http://www.commandertrombone.com Wiley

    I for one applaud you. Sure, kids are molded by the parents and all, but in another sense having another child is like pulling the lever on a giant slot machine. Or maybe it’s like a box of chocolates. In any case, it’s not like a Tom Hanks movie, where you pretty much know you’re going to get Tom Hanks.

  • Kate

    youre no one

    April Masthead baby!

    (sorry if that’s been posted already ;)

  • http://www.onepingonly.blogspot.com Maura

    Amazing. You sure do bring it out in people, don’t you? What I love is that they’re too dense to realize that you’re going to make them look like the idiots they are because you’re not afraid to go there. :-)

  • Anonymous

    Oh god, I’m a husband-fucker too!

  • Anonymous

    What is wrong with these people? It scares me that they are part of the society we live in…

  • Tricia

    What about the sluts who hate to fuck their husbands? What are they called? :-)

  • http://tout-est-des-roses.blogspot.com/ sarasophia

    You ARE my girl crush.

    <3 sarasophia

  • http://evethethird.deviantart.com Catchild/Sarah

    Wow, for one, there were so many errors in their grammar, how does one function? Also, when its a wife and her husband that’s nobody’s business, and two kids is really nothing honestly, I’m 19 and I have 11 siblings, but we’re all halves, and my best friend has two more siblings than I do, and honestly our dads aren’t mormons… I’m sorry that people have low IQ’s to get mad at you to call you a slut, when you aren’t that’s just dumb, I hate idiots like that. Anyways yea, that’s just my two sense. *shrugs* thought I would try to help. Sorry if its not, it’ll get better~

  • http://rltroxell.blogspot.com/ Randi

    I don’t normally comment b/c so many others do and all that gravy.. and I tend to think you get so many one more wouldn’t really matter… but I just had to comment today to let you know I luuuurve to read you! I have you on my blogroll and every morning I check it to see if you’ve posted! Who cares about the haters…. they SUCK!

  • Jennifer

    WOW. It’s hard to imagine someone actually wrote something so stupid.

  • DesignGirl

    Totally awesome! I can’t wait to tell my husband I’m a husband-fucking slut! Wait! He already knows it! We just celebrated 3 years of marriage 3.11.09. And we still do it at least 5-6 times a week … WITH EACH OTHER … sometimes twice in one day! But we have no children – amazing, huh? I am blood type A+, so Heather, if you wouldn’t mind sharing one of those spare kidneys with a sistah-husband-fucking-slut, I’d much appreciate it!

  • Anonymous

    you go girl. I don’t understand why people’s filters come off around pregnant women!

  • Melissa

    That is so funny! Thanks for the laugh. I really needed it today.

  • Jessica

    Oh, my goodness. I just spit my drink all over the computer screen. That is the most hilarious thing I’ve read in a long time. Thank you for a really good laugh!

  • Beret

    This brought me out of lurkdom too. I’m still laughing. Whoo boy, where do you find these people?

  • mistee

    I don’t think you can truly say you’ve made it until you have trolls. And congratulations! I think this is the highest level of trolls – the higher you climb on the troll ladder of success, the further back down the evolutionary chain these people seem to crawl. And it’s not just extra kidneys, it’s creating more people to kick in the extra money to put you in the really nice nursing home later in life, instead of the one that smells like pee.

  • http://www.emilysmusings.com Emily

    Seriously, your response to hate mail is hilarious! If these people hate you so much, why do they read you and then take the time to comment? Too much time and hate on their hands.

    Thanks for the laugh!

    Way to say it!

    BTW, I’m a Mormon and I CERTAINLY don’t plan to populate the earth with my uterus. That job is for other people!

  • Anonymous

    Come to Phoenix before it gets too hot! You husband fucker!

  • k.

    I’ve never commented before, but after today, I just have to say, I think I love you…….

  • Dawn

    Us women. Such choices. Like sex? SLUT! Don’t like sex? FRIGID!

    Decisions, decisions.

    I hope your hater gets laid soon. Celibacy makes people cranky.

    Oh. No. Wait. Can’t call it celibacy. That would imply a choice.

  • Susan L

    Written by a VERY jealous person who would is envious of your life!

  • OA

    How dare anyone talk to anyone like that! That e-mail says more about that person than it will ever say about you. Keep up your great work!

  • http://marytylerspivey.blogspot.com Mary Tyler S

    awesome. period. Proud husband-fucker here! Got a baby in MY uterus to prove it as well! Please continue to share these hilarity’s. I needed this laugh today…

  • http://yesourhandsarefull.blogspot.com/ Sarah

    I absolutely love that.

  • http://www.whooosthatgirl.com Melissa

    I cannot believe you fuck your husband? How dare you?! ;o) I must be a real hooker-skank with FOUR kids!

  • Erica

    Why, then, I must be a slut too!
    Or better yet, a husband-fucker!

    I don’t think I’ve ever been a slut before, but now … I AM! It’s like I’ve arrived or something!


  • Ashley

    Damn it dooce….i just went to put the Austin book signing on my calendar and its fucking Passover…what are all the Jews in Austin and Texas going to do…..I was planning to come see you in Austin, but I know how my mom will get if I don’t make it to Passover dinner for the first night. Any other Texas dates?? How about coming to Houston??

  • http://www.becomingsomething.com Natasha (@somethinggirl)

    This was just funny all over the place.

    And it’s the first time you and I have both had blog posts up on the same day with the word “slut” in it, referencing a person who was wholly miscategorized. I hope it’s the last. :-)

  • http://today.msnbc.com Kathie Lee

    heather you slut you have to stop publishing my emails to you and by the way you should come back on with me and hoda woman or come back sooner while frank my decrepit old husband is my cohost cause i am now a total expert on the internets and all that bloggering business and now i am a twit or whatever that thing is called so you can follow me uh oh having a hot flash gotta go.

  • http://ambrosiastar.net ambrosia

    you said everything i would’ve.

  • Laura

    It’s really very fascinating. You know, this girl from school thought I was a slut because she saw my boyfriend go into my room three times in two months. Same guy. Three times. And we weren’t even having sex. It’s good to know that there are people that are so entertaining. They make people as entertaining as you even more entertaining when you get to return the favor on the internet in a much more educated and skilled fashion. And by the way… you are a beautiful pregnant woman! No fat… just glow haha

  • Laura

    I’m pretty sure I recognize this writer as any of my former 6th grade students. I’ll find him/her and give them another “F”. And then the “teacher look”. Exactly which class were they skipping?

  • http://thesassymama.blogspot.com Mama Sass

    Jesus H. Christ, that is the funniest thing I’ve read all week! Husband fucking slut? Genius!
    For the record, I hate people who don’t punctuate. Lazy!
    Keep on sluttin’ it up woman!

  • http://freewomensfitness.com/how-to-lose-your-fat-butt-part-one/ lose your fat butt

    That is just brilliant! Heather I would love to see more of these emails. Made my day.

  • http://scatteredchick.blogspot.com/ Fabulox

    Brilliant!!!!! nice to know that fidelity and children born into wedlock are now considered sluttish behavior. how disappointing because today my OB/Gyn told me I should have more sex with my husband. Sounded like a good plan to me. Hmmmmm perhaps it’s too slutty though. Maybe the neighbor would be a better solution.

  • http://www.flipthiswholesaler.blogspot.com tampasteph

    Thanks for the laugh, you free riding, husband fucking, slut.

    Good stuff.

  • http://www.mommica.com Mommica

    My guess? That is a 12-year-old boy whose mom grounded him for Googling “sluts” so, while she was at work today, he found another way to be naughty on the internets.

  • http://evonnesell.blogspot.com Evonne

    I am still shocked that people actually e-mail you that crap. I loved this post, and you!

  • Schlecki

    I’m disappointed that you didn’t address the “you dont work god” comment.

    /gotta love the haters, they sure do fuel our creativity.

  • mamajacq


  • Anonymous

    I am reading under the Banner of God and I honestly cannot not even explain to you or anyone how sick the Mormon religion is to me. I have never in my life learned so extensively about any religion other than Catholicism and I was pretty sure nothing got worse. Mormons you have proved me wrong, you are some fuck up people! Mormon Fundamentalists you are rapist and in my opinion deserve to die for what most of you have done to little girls!

  • Anonymous

    You look lovely, Heather, and remind me of my wife, who looked radiant when she was carrying our children, too. We fuck early, late, often, for a long time, and in many positions. I am an admitted wife-fucker slut, and my name is _________________.

  • http://lucends.blogspot.com lucinda

    seriously, what is wrong with the people? i am a huge fan, but havent ever commented, but felt compelled to write today.

    thank you for your raw honesty. keep it up, i love it.

  • kelly

    oh heather, this is priceless. i am such a slut!!!

  • Tiffany

    As an inactive Mormon and convert to the church, I find your Mormon comments hysterical (and not offensive)! But poor grammar and punctuation is very offensive! I love your blog, you make me smile and laugh out loud regularly! I can’t wait to meet you in Denver, I hope the whole crew (including Chuck and Coco) are there!

  • Elizabeth

    That is the funniest hate mail so far!