Pacific Daylight Time

I just wanted to post a reminder to anyone who’d like to join me on the West Coast this week for my book readings and signings. This is my schedule this week:

Monday, March 30
7:30 PM PST
1005 W. Burnside Avenue
Portland, OR

Tuesday, March 31
7:00 PM PST
17171 Bothell Way NE
Lake Forest Park, WA 98155

Wednesday, April 1
7:30 PM PST
301 Castro Street
Mountain View, CA 94041

Thursday, April 2
7:00 PM PST
8818 Sunset Blvd
West Hollywood, CA 90069

I’m starting to feel the fatigue setting in from multiple flights and varying time zones, but today when Jon flashed me his iPhone to show me the weather application, I was so happy I wasn’t going to be in Salt Lake City where the forecast is five consecutive days of snow. And then this afternoon when I landed in Portland it wasn’t even raining. I’ve been to Portland three times, but never have I been here when the sun is shining. And I have to tell you, that tiny little present from Mother Nature was so joyous that I almost walked up to a random woman and stuck my tongue in her ear. It seemed like the only appropriate way to express my gratitude, the only way to demonstrate my euphoria at having just left an airport covered in several inches of snow. But I suppressed that urge and instead just gave her huge smile and winked. And now there is some innocent woman out there in Portland trying to figure out why some ridiculously manic pregnant woman at the airport was trying to hit on her.

Also, I wanted to share with you a conversation I overheard on my flight between the two young guys sitting behind me, one that was too long to report on Twitter.

First guy: “Dude, you got Internet where you live?”

Second guy: “Um… what?”

First guy: “The INTERNET! You know, Google and stuff.”

Second guy: “Dude, it’s 2009. The Internet is everywhere. Of course I have it where I live.”

First guy: “It’s not everywhere, man. It’s not in the woods and shit. They don’t run those wires out into the middle of nowhere.”

Second guy: “Okay, maybe not in the woods, but most people have access to the Internet.”

First guy: “Or out in the ocean. I bet you can’t get the Internet on a boat.”

Second guy: “Well, see, they make these things where you can access the Internet wirelessly.”

First guy: “Wire-what?”

Second guy: “Wirelessly. It works kind of like a cell phone. Do you know what a USB port is?”

First guy: “Dude, whatever. That’s all future shit. Sounds like you’re speaking Italian.”

I’ve decided that from now on whenever Jon leans across his desk and starts talking about a new software update I’m supposed to run on my computer, I’m going to hold up my hand and go WAIT. STOP. SOUNDS LIKE YOU’RE SPEAKING ITALIAN.