• http://singlemompenelope.blogspot.com Penelope

    Hysterical. Have to agree with #145 KimN…I have a 4-year-old and I think I could use this video to be all, “Stop jumping on the furniture or I will make you watch the SHINGLES! video.”

  • http://satisfythis.blogspot.com/ Dea

    Holy crap that image will stick in my brain for a while!
    Pretty funny though….

  • Tess

    Heather…you kill me…

  • http://www.twitter.com/rrgayhart Meeka

    That was, hands down, the most charmingly funny video I’ve ever seen… I love your face! (which is one of those statements that can either be charming or creepy, depending on what level of a house it’s said in… first floor: affectionate, second floor: possibly romantic in a goofy way, attic: questionable, basement: gut-wrenchingly horrifying (especially when holding or standing near powertools).

    Assume I’m in my livingroom!

  • Tinkersdamn

    No medical training, but I have 2 small kids- Marlo should pick up an immunity to varicella BECAUSE she is breastfeeding while you have SHINGLES! That’s the awesome thing about breastfeeding.
    Also, and FINE, I’m a loony loonball, if your baby is sick and you lick their forehead-really- you pick up the germs yourself- then YOUR immune system will develop the antibodies which the baby then gets thru breastmilk. My kids recovered from colds and stuff WAY quicker than other kids.

  • Jessie

    OMG – that is sooo funny, and slightly scary. The music was perfect and the black and white – priceless.

  • Liz

    So my dad, an OBGYN, once had a patient with shingles in her genitals. He put her in the hospital with a morphine drip until they went away…um… just a suggestion.

  • chris

    Yeah, another shingles story.

    It goes like this: My mom got shingles this past summer. She is 67 years old. There is a vaccine. she took my dad to get it. Young people, your age, shouldn’t get shingles. Chill out lady, stress is not good. Yeah, easy to say. Back to my mom. She was miserable, horrible pain and she has a high pain tolerence. Morphine patch’s and all. She is almost over it…whew. She is getting the vaccine since you CAN get it more than once. I will get the vaccine when I am 50. Feel better.

  • Hannah

    You have now totally passed the entrance examination for Evil Clown School. Your admissions packet will be in the mail shortly.

    Hope the SHINGLES! doesn’t eat Coco. Well, doesn’t eat her much. Maybe a little nibble will calm her down.

  • http://www.chadkelley.blogspot.com Kelley Butler

    That is the funniest thing I have seen all week! And yeah, commenter #100 probably needs to pull whatever is stuck up her hiney hole out, take a deep breath, and do some jazz hands herself to chill the eff out. Kids need to get chicken pox before they turn 35 and have to be taken care of by a spouse. Getting over chicken pox is much easier when you’re taken care of by your mom…especially one with SHINGLES!

  • Anonymous

    I’d just like to know how you two were able to get better special effects than Twilight.

    Cause that movie could have used some of your special effect supervisor’s techniques.

  • Brittany

    OH MY GOD
    CREEPY!!
    JEEZ!

  • http://www.grumblegirl.com/ Grumblegirl

    I was hoping for a fedora, tap pants and fishnets, but I guess that’ll have to do. I believe Liza with a “Z” would be proud, proud, proud!

    (Hope you feel better soon, for reals.)

  • http://mlbornstein.blogspot.com Meredith

    Oh my god you are completely psychotic and I love you!

  • Amanda

    I am so sorry things suck for you. I hope they get better soon. And I love your scary shingles video. You should be SHINGLES! Lady for Halloween and just walk around doing that ALL DAY.

    Hugs!

  • http://www.doadw.blogspot.com Miranda

    My 3-year-old was mesmorized by the video. I think he liked it. At least he wasn’t afraid of it, he must be making strides because the other day he was scared of a floating bra on iCarly. I on the other hand thought it was pretty damn funny.

  • Nina

    I think you just gave me nightmares for the next two weeks. Thanks.

  • Monica

    From one loon to another, I LOVE IT! Jazz hands always bring a little sunshine into the day. Keep being your loony loveable self, your blog is hysterical.

  • http://firefliesandhummingbirds.blogspot.com Chrissy

    I get the stress issue with Coco. I also get the barking thing. We have 2 small dogs – a dachshund and a schnauzer. While the schnauzer is definitely the “alpha dog”, she always follows suit when the door bell rings and the dachshund launches into a hissy fit of rampant barking, dancing around, and all out lunacy. It’s everything I can do not to pick her up and wring her neck! It makes the prospect of visitors very nerve-wracking, but I like your idea of a phone call or text so you can get prepared for guests. I’ll have to remember that in the future. I’m lucky, at least, that my barking dogs don’t wake up sleeping babies. I really feel for you on that.

  • http://volume22.blogspot.com/ Scott

    OK, the SHINGLES! video scared me, but not enough to eschew leaving a comment.

    I have the PERFECT solution to the Coco “issue”. And, no, it’s not my usual she-belongs-on-a-farm suggestion. Nope. OK, here it is: BUY SOME SHEEP. Just buy maybe four or five sheep and let them roam around the yard. Coco will be in heaven herding the damn things all day and night. Also, you can make yarn or something from the wool.

  • Anonymous

    Dooce! My dad had SHINGLES! and he got all better and now he’s fine.

    Eat THAT, horror stories!

  • h.bee

    Oh man, I had shingles on my thigh a couple of years ago and it was awwwwwwwful! So painful! I hope you’re feeling better soon. I also hope that you and Jon are up to the training of Coco soon, because I can only imagine how frustrating/stressful/annoying it is to deal with her on top of everything else. She’s cute, but I would never have the patience for a dog’s B.S.

    Given the opportunity of open comments, and after reading the Hate section (oh Dooce, if what they all write wasn’t so ridiculous, I would be horrified for you! I hope you get a good laugh out of what they say) I thought I’d urge people to click on my name to visit Lucky Thirteen and Counting – it’s not my blog, but it’s a post from someone else who has dealt with Michele Robeiro Yoakum Mcbee and her vile hatred. Or just google Michele Robeiro Yoakum Mcbee for a good laugh!

    Wishing you nothing but the best, Dooce. I think you and your little family are wonderful.

  • http://www.mytrendytykes.com Linda @ My Trendy Tykes

    Ok, that scared the crap outta me.

    uhhhh not really but now I am going to be going around town holding my hands in the air saying “SHINGLES”.

    I live in a small town.

    I may make the news.
    or end up in one of “THOSE” crazy homes.

    hmmm come to think of it…..I do need a vacation!

    “Shingles, Y’all…..SHINGLES!”

  • http://www.whereisjeanchung.blogspot.com Jean

    I hope that one day dance instructors across the globe will scold their pupils saying, “Look, what you’re doing? Those are jazz hands. Did I ask for jazz hands? No. I want to see SHINGLES!”

  • elisha

    have you tried the citronella bark collar? it sprays citronella under the dog’s chin when it barks. I recently got one for my beagle and it has greatly reduced her barking. But, I do have to know when company is coming so i can put the collar on her before their arrival.

  • Andrea

    Holy crap, your video scared the crap out of me. Totally not Jazz hands..maybe nightmare on elm street hangs. (I think you are hilarious…and a great mom…but that was just creepy)

  • Hilarychill

    Love you more than ever! Hilarious.

  • http://www.clearlydelirious.com Becky

    Oh, my. If your neighbors didn’t already think you were of the devil, I’m pretty sure you’ve convinced them now!

    I have to admit, though, that when people post WORDS! like that, I often see the sparkle hands in my head. It’s nice to see them out there for the world to see :)

  • Anonymous

    You’ve gotta work on your jazz hands… think cane, tap shoes, leotard and try again. lol

    I also think you need to audition for the next villain in a Batman movie… I love it!

    :)

  • http://www.thedomesticgoddess.wordpress.com The Domestic Goddess

    That’s is ten kinds of awesome.

    Freaking genius, you are.

  • carrie

    My 2yo was watching that with me and just kept pointing and saying “mama”. So I suppose that tells you something about our home. Nice vid!

  • Charley

    I just did the digging to figure out what the F* was up with the Michele blahblah McBee and found her blog of hate…and also read some of your emails you get on Monetizing the Hate…and I have to say, it’s no freaking wonder you have shingles. I didn’t even have the vitriol directed AT ME and I am still shaking from the anger and hate.

    You do such a great job being light and letting it all run off your back, and I just don’t know how you do it. I feel like I need a shower. Or two.

    Maybe don’t read the comments anymore? Or have someone screen them for you? Ugh, some people just have so much venom…

  • jaime

    this just made my first sick day in ten years that much better! Thank you!

  • Lauren

    I daydream about having a troupe of backup dancers following my every move with Jazz hands for emphasis. Thanks for being hilarious and always making my day!

  • http://www.monkeyinabox.net monkeyinabox

    µ-ziq + dooce = SHINGLES!!!!

    Awesome.

  • http://www.mrssplapthing.blogspot.com Marcheline

    Have you ever seen Betty Davis in the movie “Whatever Happened to Baby Jane”? This video reminded me of that. Good thing I didn’t plan on sleeping for the next couple of years, anyway.

  • http://kikicha.blogspot.com Kiki

    I have a SINGLES! horror story. I can’t even make this up. My grandma had it once and she was telling me about it and how it’s so painful, and “ooh, down there on the lips, ooh, just horrible” ick ick ick! No grand-daughter should have to hear about her grandmother’s “lips”.

  • http://drewcilla.blogspot.com/ Drew

    You, my dear, are completely, positively, bat shit insane, AND I LOVE YOU!

    The more that I think about it, the more I am certain that we hung out together in the cafeteria at lunchtime in the pre-existence, listening to the Clash pumped in from the high school amateur radio station.

    Hope you get over the shingles soon. I’ve had them a couple of times myself. No. Fun.

    Heather, thanks for being yourself. IMHO, you are a perfect example of what it means to live your life “out loud.” If more people could learn to pull their heads out of their asses, we, as a species, would be MUCH happier.

    Nameuhjeezchrisamen.

    PS. Speaking as one, I think that you’d make an EXCELLENT gay man!

  • http://circuslunch.com Mary

    WOW…that is fucking awesome!

    You have never looked so crazy and the music, perfect.

    Job well done.

    I hope the SHINGLES! go away soon.

  • Kandice

    You know where I’m going right after I leave this comment? To your Monetizing the Hate page. ‘Cause I’m pretty sure you’re going to get some really classic material in response to that totally fantastic hilarious video.

  • http://www.svoortmeyer.blogspot.com Sara

    ScArY! I am going to go suck my thumb now.

  • http://homegrown-insanity.blogspot.com tracylea

    that was amazing. And I mean this in the most loving way possible (and I’m forewarning you, I say things like what I’m about to and people take offense and I wouldn’t say them if I meant them in a bad way): you looked like the coolest kick assiest disney witch in the world. Kinda like Maleficent (THEE BEAUTIFUL Maleficent) come to life – So sleeping beauty done Enchanted style. And I want to know what your eye makeup looked like NOT in black and white so I can re-create.

  • Shannon

    Ok I meant #100 gets on the hate wall. I think I was still so terrified by the JAZZSHINGLEHANDS! that I forgot what actual number to put up. In honor of commenter #100, I’m gonna go get you some more ad revenue so you can roll in money. I hear rolling in cold hard cash will do wonders for your SHINGLENIPPLES! w00t!

  • carol c

    love it! was having a lame morning but you go and turn it all around. thanks heather. you rock.

  • Tine

    (*snicker*)

  • http://www.misscuriosity.blogspot.com AmyB

    Ahahaa! I think I just wet myself a little – can I get some jazz hands for THAT?

  • http://krysworld.blogspot.com Krys

    You are, without a doubt, my favorite blogger of all time. Ever. Forever. And ever. Amen.
    But this, this blog entry? This video?
    This takes the cake.
    This tops them all.
    This is your best.
    Thank you for making me spit my iced tea all over my monitor and my keyboard!
    I pictured you doing jzaa hands when you referenced Julie’s Tweet and laughed out loud, but to see it? Live, on video????
    OMG.

  • Anonymous

    She’s got Bette Davis’ eyes.

  • http://www.twitter.com/cooterbug nicole

    @dooce & @blurb, how are you going to put the lid back onto this can of worms? hope there’s a plan. Fallout could be damaging.
    sorry for the repetition, would really like a response to this one, I’m beyond curious as to how this is going to end.

  • Liz

    Holy crap. That was frightening!