• Melilah

    Heather, you are one funny bitch.

    I’ve never had SHINGLES! but I do have finger herpes (google: Herpetic Whitlow).

    I would have my own case of the Jazz Hands if it didn’t hurt so much right now as I’m in the middle of a lovely outbreak.

    I really hope you feel better soon. I understand your pain.

  • http://www.sensiblysassy.blogspot.com Sensibly Sassy

    I will never think of shingles or jazz hands the same way again.

  • mosprott

    holy crap – it’s like one of those awesome Ringu-like Japanese horror films. AWESOME!

  • http://www.photographybycio.com Cio

    I’m speechless. I’m without Speech.
    This absolutely made my day.
    Dooce, thanks for being so LOOOOOOONY.
    : D

  • Anne

    This is the first time I’ve commented, but as a former SHINGLES sufferer, I feel your pain! I always thought it was a disease grandmas get :) Good luck and I’m laughing out loud because of COURSE having SHINGLES requires jazz hands – I’m not sure why I didn’t think of it when I was “afflicted” as my grandmother used to say.

  • linuxchik

    sweet, you’re awesome. i hereby dedicate ‘mutant race’ to you (from the popular BBC hit, the mighty boosh)!
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w0uSAxtuV4o

  • rb

    so… you weren’t really trying to convince us you’re not crazy with that, were you?

  • Tanya

    You are wicked scary! Love it! SHINGLES!!

  • F

    Dear Heather,
    Sorry that you’re feeling sick still – I hope you get better superfast. On an unrelated note, after reading your hate mail, it has become quite clear to me that your haters are a bunch of crazy-ass wackaloons. I don’t know how you put up with that nonsense, but I hope you’re able to shake it off and KEEP ON WRITING!! Because the rest of us think you’re fantastic!

    Cheers!

  • Emily

    Amazing (and fantastic) how you go from an innocent jazz hands comment to that!

  • http://jodifabulous.blogware.com Jodi

    I watched with the sound off and it was f%#*ing awesome. HIGH FIVE Heather.

  • http://rltroxell.blogspot.com/ Randi

    though i don’t know from personal experience.. my mom has had shingles before and from the looks of it.. i can only imagine how bad it is… i truly hope you get to feeling better soon…

    … now onto another now: that video- it was just really sorta startling and scary…

  • Terri

    HELP ME

    HELP ME

    HELP ME

    We have three dogs and one is crazy. I can’t believe you said this because we have to do the same thing before someone comes to the door.

    God forbid you drop something on the floor or close a drawer too hard that maybe, possibly, kinda, might barely sound like a door closing and BAM the barking begins.

    Then the other dogs start. And BARK and BARK and BARK until they all work themselves into a frenzy and begin to make this crazy howling sound that pierces your eardrums and causes the ground to shake.

    I start chasing them with a towel, snapping it, (not hitting the dogs with it so please don’t call the SPCA with my IP address) trying to get their attention and then the dogs and the snapping and the baby screaming and the people yelling….,

    …. and the people, the people, the people (from the movie Sybil if that sounds familiar)

    I don’t know how to stop the madness. I was going to take my last cent and instead of buying food for the children pay a trainer to come and show me how to STOP THE BARKING but now I’m thinking there may be no end to it. No solution. No hope.

    OH and I’ve had shingles. For those who don’t know it can be VERY PAINFUL. I hope you are spared from the pain.

  • http://www.justtherightsize.blogspot.com Kathy

    OMG, I am TOTALLY making a capture of that video as my PC wallpaper at work!

    Hilar!

  • Charlene

    All you need to complete the picture is horns, a pitchfork and a tail…LMAO

  • Mia

    Not gonna lie, I laughed during that whole video, though it was moderately terrifying.

  • Mir&a

    So I have to concur… I had SHINGLES! last year and I’m only 25 and I felt like an old person… who was really stressed out. I will say that the Valtrex aka herpes meds from the doctor really helped but it doesn’t make it much better. Look at it this way – you won’t get them again :)

  • Cam

    Right now my 21 month-old daughter is looking at this and going all “Sheen-golllls” and “more! more!”. And she only speakes Portuguese.
    No bunny-hugging for this one here, no sir. :D

  • Sue

    SHINGLES!!!! HAHAHAHAHAH!!!!

    oh ow… my stomach hurts from laughing. While I am horribly bummered that you have to deal with the shit-ing-guls, I’m lovin’ the video…

    by the by… I’ve had shingles. They went away, and I never saw them again…AND…two out of my three girls were born with a natural immunity to chicken pox. they never got them, no matter how many puss covered little people I exposed them to.

    ((Hugs)) get better soon.

    ~:-)

    :)

  • LLG

    Funny, but seriously scary!! I had to stop watching it half way through. Good way to make light of the fact you have shingles. Hope you are getting better, I am assuming having shingles is not what you had in mind for a fun time! Get better soon!

  • http://allthingsbd.blogspot.com all things BD

    Wait. Were those jazz hands or spirit fingers?

  • http://www.uthostage.com uthostage

    That video is the creepiest thing I’ve EVER SEEN. Which is saying a lot since I saw Friday the 13th Part 3. In the theater. In SUPER 3D. You could totally give Jason, Michael Myers, and even Pennywise the Clown a run for their money.

    And yet, I ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT! I think you’ve started a new movement. CREEPY JAZZ HANDS! You’ll be a millionaire. You’re welcome.

  • http://www.allegrasrose.blogspot.com Michele

    My first thought LOL – VERY Funny, then … somewhat SPOOKY…a good Halloween video…a little scary too!!

    Hope the shingles don’t last long…

  • Anonymous

    Love it!!

  • Carly

    OMG, I hope the SHINGLES! go away soon! My husband had them a few years ago, and because nothing is ever easy, I’ve managed to go 30 years without the chicken pox so I was terrified to even live in the same apartment as him. So I slept on the couch for ten days and he stayed home watching Gilmore Girls DVDs because it was the only thing he hadn’t seen, and daytime TV wasn’t cutting it. Ugh… jazz hands would have made it better, but it is awesome even now :)

  • http://www.domestiquette.net Wendy

    Jazz hands. LOL. That is brilliant. Yay, Julie.

    I haven’t checked in a few days and you went on a posting spree, so I didn’t get to comment this on “In the Moment”…

    No matter how ignorant & mean some people get, never stop posting about The First Time versus The Second Time.

    I was too ignorantly indoctrinated and too southern to get the help I desperately needed until after my 2nd kiddo was born. I was DOING OKAY before babies, right! I can do this myself! Then I rejected the help again because of a bad doctor (and because of the first reasons: I can go off these meds after six months, RIGHT?), and didn’t really get straightened out until two years ago.

    I feel like I missed the first six years of my daughter’s life. The first four of my son’s. The first eight years of my marriage were tortuous for my husband. It’s too terrible to think about very much.

    Post on, Heather! I love reading these and I’m sad that I missed it, and I’m too scared to try it again. Plus I’m busy making up for the first six years.

  • Linda

    Terror! Terror-alert.

    p.s. by the way, Toronto is a national SHINGLES-free location. You should visit it!

  • Amy Bjorge

    I don’t think that’s what she meant by Jazz Hands, Heather.
    But I kind of liked it. In a real creepy sort of way.
    Try placing a can of marbles by the front door. (Macadamia nut cans work well and plus, then you get to eat macadamia nuts.)
    Shake the can when the dog barks.
    Scared the shiz out of my dog. He hid under the bed for ten minutes the first time.
    I can’t say that this really turned the dog into a well behaved canine, but you could try it anyway.

  • Lottifish

    You do realize that next time you’re doing an interview for some big tv show like The Today Show or something they’re going to be all “Up next, Heather Armstrong from the Shingles Video” and then they’ll show the video as your introduction.

    Lol, love it.

  • Andi

    That was kinda scary!

  • http://www.512homestore.com Malita

    You did warn those that are prone to seizures – which I’m not so I felt safe – but really I wasn’t prepared for that and may have had a mini seizure or two.

    PS I drove by a Walgreens yesterday, they had a sign for shingle immunizations – I thought of you.

  • Charl

    Aaaaaaaugghh. Hahaha! I cannot emphasize enough how magnificently that video is made. Pure horror.

    You guys are fucking artists. I love you.

  • I’m Weeping

    Those aren’t jazz hands.

    Jazz hands are happy. Buoyant.

    These hands terrified me.

    Heather, you corrupted jazz hands.

    You also made me cry and gave me day terrors.

    Please don’t do that ever again.

  • http://drivedaily.blogspot.com melissa

    My first thought on this video…You should be *shingles* for Halloween!

  • Jeffrey

    I had shingles in my mid twenties from the stress of starting grad school. So I hope this balances out the Grandpa with shingles stories. Hope you feel better soon, it goes away, I promise. You can barely see the scars now.

  • Denise

    That video was petrifying. I hate scary movies, this was pretty on par … but really, I might have to employ the “add jazz hands to x bad event” method, as it seems to be working.

  • ZoeyCate

    I love you to death Heather but that was some scary shit! I hate scary shit too! Did I mention I love you to death? Follow.

  • Kellie

    Hey – whatever is going on – I hope it blows over or is taken care of and you can get on to dealing with more fun things like SHINGLES and Coco! Seriously – I hope you are feeling better soon. My husband had shingles on his neck/hairline and it was just plain frustrating for him. I don’t remember it staying for too long, so hopefully that will be the case for you.

    ps – don’t let your daughters see your jazz hands video anytime soon – you might want to save that as ammunition when they reach their teens

  • http://www.motherproof.com/ MotherProof

    OK, that is SO not what I imagined when you said “jazz hands”. Hope you’re feeling better soon…

  • http://twitter.com/patybortolotto Paty Bortolotto

    Thanks for making me laugh so hard at work.

    LOVE the crazyness!! Fucking hillarious! =D

  • Woo

    Hilarious and creepy–nice effect.

  • http://www.surlepants.com Jenny

    I had shingles IN MY ARMPIT when I was 10 yrs old. The doctor was like, “Usually we only find this on scabby old people who can’t get out of bed and shit themselves!” That didn’t make me feel like a freak AT ALL during pubescent swimsuit season. The ointment he gave me was the consistency of bacon grease. Fingers crossed for you that medicine has advanced somewhat since then. It probably wouldn’t help to have a hyperactive dog who knows there’s bacon grease on your body.

  • Erica

    Um, after that video I think you may truly be snorting coke lines off your baby’s belly! Unsolicited ass-vice: I think you need more wrist action for your demonic jazz hands.
    Perhaps a SHINGLES conga line is in order?

  • http://www.sellpartyof.com Evonne Sell

    I had to laugh that my daughter walked in the room when I was watchin’ the video and said “Mommy, that is a perfect Halloween video!” Yeah, she is 4, and I laughed. She laughed, and we didn’t want to hug a bunny! LOL

  • Anonymous

    Whoa. Nosferatu much?

    Dooce is Nosferatu! Call a cop!!

  • Vicky

    Dude, I can not wait to read the hate mail attached to that awesome video!

  • http://lifeissweet16.wordpress.com Renee

    A friend of mine really likes your blog, so I came to check it out.

    Just had to comment here because you said your child hasn’t shown signs of chicken pox after 8 days. The incubation period is 14 days. My daughter was exposed at 3 and literally 14 days later, she had ‘em.

    Just be prepared!

    And I hope you feel better. I never had shingles, but my daughter did and it was pretty painful for her.

  • Kirsten

    OMG! Love the video. It is kinda creepy and thanks for the disclosure on keeping small children away, because I think my 3yo might have flipped and started having seizures.

  • kaela from colorado

    hahaha..THAT was some creepy shit…i am now terrified of SHINGLES!

    and to the people who are so butt hurt that heather withheld the boundrified information……wait for it…wait for it…..get a life….haha in an optimistic sugar coated peace offering…she could have never told you that her day was THAT bad to begin with!?!!?!?!?!?!? then what.

    haha let her have a little bit of privacy..for cryin out loud….the lady has SHINGLES!

  • Hannita

    Oh my word! That is so fantastic. I watched it on Jon’s site first and didn’t have the explanation for it (and apparently didn’t read the title…) but at first I was asking myself “Is she saying Chagall? I don’t get it?” But now, now it All makes sense.

    Feel better. SHINGLES!! suck.