• http://tmlens.blogspot.com victoria winters

    Clogged ducts happened to me a lot. Take SOY LECITHIN tablets (3 – 6 a day) – it will prevent clogs because it makes the fat molecules less sticky without changing the quality of the milk (my midwife told me that and it works like a charm!).

  • http://www.momdot.com trisha

    I have to be honest that you are making me never ever ever want another child again. I couldnt even get through 6 weeks of breastfeeding and like 3 months of pumping without thinking I would rather poke my eyeballs out w/ a hot poker.


  • Megan C

    Poor Adam. He’s not even two years old and already faceless internet strangers want to tar and feather him.

    Not all little boys are hellions. My son is 21 months old and he wouldn’t hurt a fly. He’s more personable and sweeter than most little girls his age. He is always very gentle with little babies. He loves going out and we can take him anywhere, even restaurants!

  • http://www.fromsingletomarried.com Tabitha (From Single to Married)

    oh my! I feel bad for both of you – I can imagine the mom was horrified and that you were frustrated. And I’m a tad bit worried about me since I’m pregnant with my first baby who’s a boy and I have no idea what to expect. I certainly hope I don’t get that though! :)

  • Marie

    Heather, thank you! I’m sitting here, suffering from constipation (oops – did I say that on the internet???!!! lol) and I said I’d have a look on Dooce, because reading your words would cheer me up. Not only did they cheer me up but I realised that you are the ONLY, yes the ONLY person in the world right now who can understand what it feels like to have something blocked up, whether it’s a boob or some other hole. Ok, well you’re the only person in my world right now who can understand, because at the moment my world pretty much consists of my bedroom, and my house after getting my tonsils out last Thursday. And I would gladly go through that a million times instead of having any part of my body blocked up like this!

    But it’s nice to know someone else has some kind of idea of what it’s like

  • Meagan G

    I am currently dealing with a rather destructive child myself. Not sadistically destructive but she hold her own. My mom calls her “F5″ as in a category 5 tornado.. Tell your brother a drink or two never hurt anyone.. and I mean him not the child. Although I have considered it.Just kidding, Knowing my luck my duaghter would be an angry drunk and then I am back a square one…

    Anyhow, good for Marlo!

  • JHud

    Once again, dimples save the day!
    Thanks for giving me a reason to laugh daily. Your family is beautiful…go Marlo, go Marlo!!

  • Anne Lindenfeld

    My “Adam Story”:

    When my son and his best friend (our next door neighbor’s kid), Miss M, were about that age, Miss M was the female version of Adam. She was just pissed off at the world and anyone who got in her way. My son, on the other hand, was about as aggressive as Ghandi asleep. The kids spent most days together, and we all just kind of rolled with whatever mayhem happened.

    One day, at about that golden 18 mos point, Miss M became enraged with my son for flagrantly playing with a toy she suddenly wanted (the nerve), and whacked him so hard over the head with it that he staggered and was dizzy for some time. Miss M spent a good long time out in the corner with the mommy glare treatment. Son was comforted. Life went on; craniums developed.

    Gradually, Miss M grew into a lovely, kind, compassionate child. My son developed massive learning disabilities and had a hard time learning to speak. It was Miss M who never wavered in helping him — from reading him books to defending him on the playground when kids teased him. The two of them (now teens) are good friends to this day. Miss M is a treasure — though she had some darn terrible beginings.

  • http://theatricalmilestones.blogspot.com charlotte

    Yep. Little Miss Kickboxer got a heavy toy thrown at her face at daycare when she was about Marlo’s age. And even with a black eye, she smiled at the offender.

    His parents, BTW, have not apologized to me at all, and it’s been 6 months.

  • http://mommyiamhome.blogspot.com Karen

    Oh, the hateful comments that this post is going to generate… I can hardly wait to read them!

    BTW, hope you dropped kicked Destructo Nephew into next week.

  • http://iloveyoumorethanmost.blogspot.com/ Danielle

    #144… Your arrogance is stunning. Yes, because everyone who doesn’t have children like yours clearly never disciplines. Let me ask you something.

    If you were to “stop it in no uncertain terms. Put safety gates up and tell your son, ‘If I ever catch you climbing into your sisters crib I will smack you so hard on the bottom.’” and he continues to do it and you follow through every time, then what?

    If you “give him a baby doll before your daughter is born and teach him how to treat a baby. And tell him he could never pick her up or hurt her or he would get a smack.” and he still does then do you just start beating him harder?

    The fact that your child “has never hit, pushed or bitten his sister. He wouldn’t dream of it. He loves her and always wanted to look after her,” is proof positive that you don’t know jack about a child like mine.

    I get that you think you are a perfect parent but what you are is presumptuous and judgmental about things you cannot even fathom.

  • Andra

    #131–unbelievable Why would one waste their time feeling this way or even pretending to? Such a waste…

    Great story, Heather! Keep it up! I will continue to exercise my freedom and read your stuff. The reverse, I hear, works just as well :)

  • http://www.iambossy.com/ BOSSY

    Bossy has no problem imagining anything said through gritted teeth after reading that. Bossy’s teeth would be pulverized after such an event. Can your brother say, “Supernanny?”

  • Anonymous

    As someone said above, it’s terrible to hear that so many want to tar and feather Adam.

    I had an 18-month old like Adam. He outgrew the hitting, but it took a loooong time. It makes me sad to remember how much some people disliked him when he was a toddler/preschooler (and disdained me by extension).

    He’s now 11, and although with him virtually every age has been challenging in one way or another, he is in no danger of becoming a sociopath. He is surprisingly gentle with animals and small children, and his 6-year-old brother *adores* him. He remains willful as all get-out, however.

    I feel compelled to add that my younger son has been a breeze since the day he was born. We don’t parent him any differently than we parented our eldest. They’re just different kids.

    Mean people suck.

    Which brings me to monetizing the hate. I loved the idea at first and thought it was hilarious. But now I fear that you are simply giving mean people a platform from which to spew their garbage. And I must agree with someone who commented yesterday: your replies make me cringe. I think it gives them too much attention. JMHO.

  • http://www.laizone.com/ bape shoes

    no problem imagining anything said through gritted teeth after reading that

  • http://thestepmomstoolbox.com Peggy

    Hmmmmm…eighteen months you say? Sounds about right.

    My baby brother Michael had a bad habit of slapping sleeping people in the face. My aunt called him “Rosemary’s Baby”

    My daughter, when she was eighteen months old (20 some odd years ago) took after her Uncle Michael. One day I was sleeping on the couch and she picked up her green hard plastic Tonka Truck (yes, she played with trucks…not dolls) and she whacked me upside the head with it. Like I was supposed to NOT EVER SLEEP.

    And I quit sleeping until my own demon child passed through her “Rosemary’s Baby” phase…

  • http://allthatmamadrama.com Kate from All That Mama Drama

    I appreciate that you didn’t freak out at the nephew. Every family has a kid like that, and at some point, we all stand in the shoes of the parent who wants to curl up in a ball and die from embarrassment over what our child says or does.

    Marlo clearly has a disposition of which a mother’s dreams are made. Bravo to her for not losing it.

  • David M

    So the thought is Adam will be your first relative in prison? I realize this is unlikely, since you’re from the South, but I thought I’d ask.

    (I know. All stereotypes are hateful. I’m ashamed of myself.)

  • Steph TN

    Dammit Heather one of the girls in my office is pregnant and I was all “aww maybe we should have a baby” and now? No! Clogged milk ducts must be a punishment for having such a cute kid. Owuch!

  • carolyn

    sigh… well, you said it best how easy it is to anticipate what the nutjobs will send you via email or comments. sheesh, unstable people, calm down.

    Glad your duct is better, Ouch, been there, done that!

  • buffy

    I don’t know if anyone has said this yet, seeing as I don’t have time to read the 250 comments before me. BUT, I had what felt like 100,000 clogged ducts with my second and the best way I found to deal with them (besides heavy amounts of gin which isn’t great for the person drinking the gin soaked milk) is wet heat, like a damp cloth in a zip top bag, and placing the baby’s chin toward the clogged duct. She and I had some interesting Twister style nursing sessions, but it helped things clear up super fast. Hope this helps!

  • Liz

    You may think this is funny, but as the mother of two boys, one of whom was extremely physical from the ages of 1 – 4, this makes me sad. My older son was gentle and kind and never did things like push kids down slides, hit other kids and push his cousin on the floor every time she came near him. It was absolutely awful when my second child ended up like this and despite my efforts, it continued until he was about four. After that, he became one of the nicest people on earth, which he still is today at 14. During this time, I used to feel so mortified by his behavior and tried in every way to change it. He was never really a mean person, just extremely rough and physical. The worst offenders were the mothers of perfectly behaved girls who used to stare and glare at me with disdain as their gentle little girls just sat there and behaved. Before you chastise, try and imagine if you were the parent of the “other” one. It’s not only because of bad parenting. Sometimes it just is. And believe me, it’s not funny.

  • Bmomma

    Sorry about the boobage.Hope you’re feeling better.

    As for Adam, his parents might want to take an active roll in watching their child and intervene prior to detonation. Having four children of my own, I have found over the years that engaging them up front and not after they have bugged you to death, makes for happier, calmer children. That could be playing with him daily or taking him to the park or to an exercise class(to burn off the excess energy), even if for a little while. If they have your attention, or know they are going to have it at some point during the day, they tend not to need to vie for your attention in a harmful, destructive, bad-attention getting sort of way. He needs to know that he is not in charge. Tell your brother to take his balls back from the 18-month old.

  • http://www.rhodeygirltests.com RhodeyGirl

    I was bored at work so I just hit edit-find-anon through this whole post. It is really funny to see how different the anonymous comments are from the ones attached to names.

  • Bunnie

    My nephew was like this and his parents let him get away with it. He’s almost 30 now, has a criminal record and is a total prick. My husband predicted when the boy was 5 he was going to be a criminal. When he acted out his parents ignored it and bought him more stuff to try to make him happy.

    Another boy I know acted this way as a toddler. His mother would ignore him also when he acted out. I witnessed him throwing stuff around grocery stores and his mother would walk off and leave his older sister to try to control him. This boy dropped out of high school, is now 20 and in the local paper almost every week for being arrested for something like breaking into a store, under age drunk driving or drug stuff.

    If my boys acted this way it would have been only ONCE. I would grab them, look them in the eye and let them know that they were never to act that way again or they would have a raging monster as a mother. Then I’d quickly take them, one on one, to do something nice. Letting them know life is so much better when they are nice to people and things. My sons are boys terrific men now and make me proud. Tell your bro to nip this shit in the bud as quick as possible.

  • http://maybeinutah.blogspot.com Mari

    Okay, bird figurine I can live with. Dude whacked Marlo? Dude whacked Marlo! That kid better lay low for awhile.

  • Anonymous

    First! Always wanted to say that.

  • http://www.utahj.com Jared

    What about shock collars for kids? Or would that be considered inhumane?

  • Anonymous

    almost first.

    i would have whacked him heather. how did you feel?

  • RainyDay

    #186 & 202 – you obviously don’t have children of your own. How horrible of you to say that because Adam is an aggressive toddler he’s a sociopath!

    He’s a little boy. A child. And some kids are aggressive, some aren’t. I have one of each. Same parenting, different work-in-progress.

    Go easy on the poor kid, will ya! His parents are probably harder on themselves then you are, anyway, but they still don’t need such nastiness thrown their way.

  • Kathryn

    seems to me that are a few people who might be able to take a lesson from that

  • Anonymous

    Just wondering, if this story was written in a year or so, and Marlo was the little child that hit another baby, would the comments be “You go Marlo! Little Miss Ass-Kicker!” and the like, or would you all be advocating slapping and drop-kicking her, too?

  • http://daddyscratches.com Daddy Scratches

    Was your brother thankful that you didn’t take his son’s life? Or maybe disappointed?

  • Anonymous

    Your brother better start learning now about parenting a difficult child. I made the mistake of thinking ‘Oh, everything will be fine’, with mine… who was that same kind of destructive as soon as he learned how to crawl. It never stopped. It got worse, and worse, and worse. 15 years later he’s still doing it, and I wonder if he’s even going to be able to function in society.

    He was later diagnosed with ADHD (the most severe kind)and high functioning autism.

  • Anonymous

    Yeah, I would have had to knock the crap out of that kid for busting my bird figurine. If I had bird figurines, of course. I think my grandmother used to have bird figurines. Back in the day when bird figurines were cool.

  • Anonymous

    I don’t understand, many commenters are (I hope humorously) suggesting that an 18-month-old baby be beaten or placed in psychiatric care for doing what many babies this age do! Really? Have you had an 18-month-old? Remember, they’re largely pre-verbal, easily frustrated little ones, they whack and hit at stuff. It’s not indicative of evil or anger even, they’re jsut babies themselves. What would you think if you saw an 18-month-old hit another baby in public, and then saw the older child’s mother hit him or her for it? I think the majority of you would condemn that, but your comments make me wonder.

  • http://www.myveryownsitcom.blogspot.com Mrs. Sitcom

    Man, I thought I was going to be first. I’ll settle for third. Dude…clogged milk ducts and mastitis and stitches *down there*…no wonder nobody talks about this stuff… no one would want to have kids :) :( :) Thanks for being honest! Glad it cleared up in time for Marlo’s first cage fight. Sounds like she’s got a good head on her shoulders!

  • Ceara

    Heather, I love how casually you are dealing with this incident. At least on the surface. I can only imagine what my first instinct would have been. Marlo’s reaction is great!

    I’m just glad my daughter came first. My crazy boy fortunately has a bossy older sister that won’t let him get away with anything.

    Buffy #251, My midwife told me the same thing about the baby’s chin direction helping, and I immediately pictured a duct on the upper side clogged and having to nurse in a push-up position staring at baby’s belly button. Twister!!!

  • ChrisV

    Whew, I thought you were going to say he picked her up and hurled her to the ground. Not that whacking is better, but oy,

  • http://poppyfox.etsy.com Poppy

    Sore boobies is what really terrifies me about having a baby :O

  • http://justicegirl.wordpress.com Britta

    My almost 3yr old has given her 6mo old sister a few “hugs” that seemed a little too forceful – like, “hmmm…if I pretend to be loving her, maybe I can smother her and no one will notice.” This happened after I assured her that Sophie was not going back to the hospital – she lived with us now.

  • http://firefliesandhummingbirds.blogspot.com Chrissy

    Way to go, Marlo. Kill ‘em with kindness. And dimples!

  • Jodie

    OMG. I thought my little guy was trouble…

    I hope your boob feels better, I was just “there” last week and it freaking hurt to BREATHE. Ugh

  • Tobamom

    While I recognize that a big chunk of the American poulation (those whose kids are BRATS!)will disagree with me, Adam clearly needs a spanking. His parents need to take action and be the adults. Good for you (and Marlo) for not losing it. If your brother and his wife ever leave Adam alone at your house you can get even. :)

  • Anonymous

    Yeah, some kids are just terrors!!

    I’m not sure what’s going on, and I’m VERY confused by your Twitter feed – are you goign to update us on the seemingly intense WAR going on via twitter?? I’m so confused!!!

  • y.sosa

    just wanted to say that Marlo’s eyes are mesmerizing :) ) <3

  • Meg

    It’s amazing to me that kids know exactly what to break. It never fails. AND they look you right in the eye while doing it.

    I think that kid might have a future in the UFC!

  • Figtron

    I will never forget the first time my niece’s daughter acted out toward my then innocent 6 month old infant. Yes, I am an old, old mother.

    She, being the older-by-one-year, wiser cousin, casually walked up to my baby (all smiles), and promptly threw a fuzzy frog toy directly at her face, smacking her right between the eyes. I froze, in complete horror. My niece was mortified, and doled out all forms of punishment.

    My baby? She pulled a Marlo, what a trooper.

    My sweet little baby is now the tormentor. My, what a difference 18 months can make.

  • workroom

    Sounds like that kid needs a trip to Ceasar for some crate training… do they walk it enough?


  • Sarah

    Exact same thing happened to me with my cousin’s boy! He was jealous of the attention my little girl was getting and came over and whacked her in her chubby belly with a pretend kettle. She just carried on smiling and being adorable, barely noticing him. My cousin was mortified, I was just shocked I could barely say anything!