Only thing missing is a side of waffle fries

So. Today is a bit of an exciting day around here because Microsoft has given me five Xbox consoles to give away to my readers, just in time for the holidays. And I’ll just go ahead and get the disclosure part of this out of the way: this is a sponsored giveaway. I do not do this sort of thing very often. Actually, only once before (and trust me, it drives my ad network totally nuts. Hi, FM!), but this seemed like something you guys would be really interested in and, hello, FIVE XBOXES. FOR FREE.

I’ll admit that all I knew about an Xbox before about a week ago was that my cousin GEORGE!, the one who lived in our basement for the summer of 2007, had one running at all times in his room. Along with three other gaming systems, two computers, a television, the ceiling fan, and who knows what else because our electric bill the first month he lived here was four times what it normally was. Oddly, he thinks it was that electric bill that has caused the rift that now exists between us. But it’s not. That rift has to do with something entirely unrelated to that electric bill, and because I’m not going to get into that mess here, I’ll just give him a two word hint: TOPLESS INTRUDER.

Fast forward to last week: we wanted to know as much as we could about the Xbox before we gave one away, so Jon went out and bought one, plus a few driving games as those are really the only ones I like to play. And he got this really awesome one that rewards aggressive, dangerous driving, and the more poles you hit and crashes you cause, the faster you hit that ramp and fly 70 feet into the air and land on top of that taco truck, the higher your score. Which to me is what Heaven will look like.

Have I ever told you about how I bought a brand new Honda Civic in 1999, and within the first five months of owning it I had to get the brakes replaced? Not because the brakes were defective, BUT BECAUSE THAT’S HOW I DRIVE. Every day I earn points by stopping closer and closer to the car in front of me, and sometimes I can get it down to millimeters. Just ask Jon and the gray hair in his beard.

As part of this giveaway Microsoft wanted me to share my “Ultimate Staycation” with you guys, and don’t worry, I just punched myself in the face for even writing that word. If they had asked me to use the word “solutioneering” I’m not so sure I could have mustered the strength.

And well, I get to live my ultimate staycation pretty much every day. Meaning, once we put both the kids down for the night, Jon and I curl up in bed with the two dogs, a cocktail, and an episode of either really excellent television or really awful television, the stuff in between is too boring. Like, either an episode of “The Wire” or something about plastic surgery gone horribly wrong. I suppose watching the sunset behind the Eiffel Tower in Paris might be an amazing way to spend an evening, but COME ON. You should see some of these nose jobs.

I think this may be Jon’s idea of an ultimate staycation:

So. Here is how this thing works, and no, I had nothing to do with these rules so don’t scream at me:

1. You must be 18 or over to enter.

2. You must live in the US.

3. You must read these rules.

4. Five commenters will be selected as winners. Please include your idea of an “Ultimate Staycation” in your comment, and y’all, keep it clean even if it does somehow include your balls.

Note: you must be signed in to leave a comment. If you sign up for multiple user accounts and try to enter under different profiles, you will be disqualified.

5. Comments will be open until tomorrow December 2, 2009 at 9PM Eastern.

6. Winners will be chosen randomly using Random.org.

7. Winners will be announced on Friday.

8. Prize is an “Ultimate Xbox Bundle” which includes 1 – Xbox console, 3 – Family Fun Games, 1 – Gold Subscription to Xbox (1 Year) – Estimated package value $499

Ready, set, go!

PS. Here are the Xbox avatars we created for ourselves complete with my trademark grumpiness:

  • paisleysea

    My ultimate staycation is anything that does not involve children.

  • Reddist

    The Ultimate Staycation? Easy. I think I might be in a small subset of readers here… an unmarried, childless dude in his mid-30s. In this cold weather, my staycation would involve some tromps through the woods w/ my dog, a stack of fire wood good for a few nights, enough rum and Coke zero and a pile of limes, a wood-grilled steak or two, and yes, my couch, gaming console, and big screen TV!

  • Bunnyhop234

    Mine would require someone cleaning up after me because I usually am unable to relax totally in my own home since I am constantly looking for things to clean.

    But once that’s taken care of, I’d like chips and dip, a few other fattening snacks, booze and some good Lifetime movies.

  • Nyn

    My life is the ultimate staycation! Now if I could just throw in a lovely massage guy to help with the kinks while sipping bubbly….Life would be perfect.

  • JennyZ

    Hmm…being unemployed and living with my parents means I basically live a staycation myself. But…to make it better, I’d say it needs:
    Parents on vacation so that I have the house to myself!
    Good Beer
    Red Wine
    Pizza
    Cuddling up on the couch with a soft blanket
    TV or sappy movies to watch
    Laptop by my side for catching up on blog reading
    Chocolate
    Good Book

    Yep. I think that’ll do.

  • Okiebu

    Oh wow, a Staycation. No rushing, only fun errands. Lazy mornings and late evenings. Movies, computers, my love and the kids, laughing and loving and relaxing. -

  • somecoolgal

    Activity: Knitting and listening to This American Life while I daydream of being Mrs. Ira Glass. Maybe some really bad movies for later in the day (see drink section).

    Location: In the middle of the couch.

    Food: A tub of that Philadelphia Cream Cheese Cheesecake Filling, no bowl, just a spoon.

    Drink: Chai in the morning, Jameson for after noon. Two words.

    Clothing: Those sweatpants that are barely still attached to the waistband and have holes in them the size of oranges. Also can’t forget the oversized University of Utah hoodie.

    Company: Trust me, my boyfriend doesn’t need to see me like this… the cats can stay, but only if they are sedated.

  • gripofaneagle

    My ultimate Staycation includes breakfast in bed, unlimited access to Indian food, husband, daughter, 30 Rock Seasons 1-3 and peaunut butter M&M’s.

  • royd

    sleep in late… snuggle a bit with the significant other… play with the cats… play some guitar… watch a few movies… pasta and red wine followed by dark chocolate covered strawberries…

  • kermiethefrog

    A good staycation. Sleeping in late, skiing and a fabulous dinner. Plenty of time to gain control of the mess that is my house. Cuddling on the couch with a good book, cozy blankets and the cats. How’s that for three sentence fragments?

  • grnapple

    My ultimate staycation involves not having anything pressing to do, running along the river, episodes of favorite TV shows, brownies and board games.

  • ziemendorf

    My ultimate staycation involves reading books while curled up with the kitties, playing on my computer, and taking long pointless bike rides along quiet country roads.

  • kmb562

    my ultimate staycation involves baking lots of yummy treats, slippers, and dvds

  • BunchOfMalarkey

    My staycation pretty much = my life. We so can’t afford an actual AWAYcation these days. But the ULTIMATE staycation would include me, my husband and our 2 kids piled on the couch, in jammies and slippers, all sipping on hot cocoa (with many marshmallows), watching Frosty the Snowman and just loving the heck out of each other.

    This seems like an even more awesome staycation right now, as we are currently living in a hotel because an idiot drunk driver crashed into our house. I want my house back!

  • ginarae

    husband, homemade bread, cookies and lots of reading!

  • edeluca24

    Love It! My ultimate stay-cation would be staying in my king size bed with my husband, 3 yr old (yeah, really) watching tv.Fridge stocked with an unnecessary amount of wine, crock pot full of food and nobody has changed out of their jammies in 2 days.

  • jnethere

    My Ultimate Staycation is any Alfred Hitchcock movie, Hendricks and Diet tonic with a splash of Cranberry (for the color)and of course fun dip on the side apple flavor!

  • bethany7726

    The Ultimate Staycation:

    - various takeout menus
    - a case of Magner’s
    - a few movies
    - Scrabble
    - video games
    - snacks…

    Most importantly, for the ultimate staycation, I need a comfy couch, my boyfriend, and my awesome boston terrier to snuggle up with.

  • kgolden84

    My perfect staycation would involve nothing but my couch, my boyfiend, lots of blankets and pillows and a magically replenishing supply of comfort food, good wine and bad tv.

  • shananegins

    Now that I am a new mom and can’t snuggle enough with my little guy… An ultimate staycation for me would be snuggling in bed with my 6 week old, my husband and two kitties. Diapers would change themselves and I would magically get 8 hours of sleep! LOL!

  • holly1980

    Beer, friends, campfire, singing and joking.

  • narfna

    Ultimate Staycation: Cookies, milk, twinkly lights, the beach, summer breeze, the forest, the smell of pine trees, a hammock, a log cabin, a fireplace, snow, a stack of books, fuzzy slippers, stretchy pants, a cuddle partner. Hot chocolate. Steak. Burritos. Steak burritos.

    And yes, I am aware that several of these things cannot physically exist in the same space.

  • rcat

    My favorite staycation is to curl up on the couch with a stack of books, plenty of co-cola, and chocolate chip cookies! Family is optional. They may “staycate” with me only if they don’t expect any strenuous work from me (like washing clothes and dishes).

  • monamour214

    My ultimate Staycation involves Pinot Noir, baked goods (made by my husband … I don’t cook … anything), and a full Tivo (Glee, So You Think You Can Dance, Grey’s Anatomy, Gossip Girl, West Wing reruns), and the entire slate of Buffy the Vampire Slayer on DVD.

    Did I mention the Pinot Noir?

  • adriannedantonio

    My Ultimate Staycation involves:
    My boyfriend, a pizza from our favorite local joint – Tower of Pizza, some all vanilla, mini cannoli, Grey Goose & soda, and a marathon of “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia”

  • jhietikko

    My ultimate staycation would be playing hookie from work and spending the day curled up in bed watching chick flicks, eating junk food, having a couple drinks and reading a good book.

  • Poodles

    My staycation involves a bottle of Jim, some Coke (soda), pizza and sitting around watching Glee with all of my Gleeky friends, including my husband. And yes we are all middle aged. We suck.

    Thank you.

  • spacecat

    My super ‘staycation’ is one I’m lucky enough to indulge in frequently:
    Take one couch, add two dogs and a husband, electric blanket to taste, let sit for several hours wrapped in the dialogue of one of those movies we’ve memorized… “Clue,” I’m lookin’ at you, kid.

    Of course, the ULTIMATE ‘staycation’ includes bourbon. Y’know… because you can get dehydrated under an electric blanket!

  • wwe11

    My Ultimate Staycation would be my computer, tv, ice cream, books and any chocolate.

  • Kimbul

    My favorite staycation would be sitting around for a week coming up with words like staycation, Brangelina, ce-Web-rity, frenemy, EVOO, chillax, and bromance. Off to find the Lexapro now….

  • Angeerah

    My staycation would involve my favorite foods delivered to eggs house. First I would start with Eggs Florentine from the Summerhouse Cafe. Then I would have a Soy True Chai from The Jive. Perhaps for lunch I would have a cheese spread and some wine. Finally, dinner would be cheese enchiladas with mole from my most favorite Mexican restaurant.

    My husband, Wes and I would lounge for most of the day in the living with a good helping of naps and snuggling added in sporadically. We would watch our favorite movies, play with Wes, and be cozy. And of course, we would all be in our pajamas all day long!

  • wendee

    My staycation? having a nanny to watch my two boys and new 5 week old girl so I could sleep all day! Then play with my kids and husband when I am all rested! =o)

  • jedinite

    My Ultimate Staycation would be relaxing with my wife. We’d watch movies and catch up shows on the DVR, then a little competitive gaming on the XBox. Of course this would include some cuddling up on the coach and if it ends up that a portion of the time is spent where the “magic happens”, well then that would be pretty ultimate in my opinion.

  • dywags

    My ultimate staycation would involve sleeping for 12 hours then getting up and having breakfast made for me and sitting and watching everything on my DVR while a troop of maids cleans the house around me.

    My husband can come on this staycation if he wants but all children must go to gramma’s house.

  • christa.leekker

    my perfect staycation would include all the seasons of LOST, popcorn, ice cream, and my boy toy to cuddle with :)

  • rowenablue

    My staycation would be a stack of good movies, a nice fire in the fireplace, a good pot of soup on the stove, and cuddling on the couch with my husband and the dogs.

  • sanddobby

    Yay XBOX!

    My perfect “Staycation” (I hate that word :P ) would include me, my boyfriend, Law and Order: SVU episodes on Netflix, and a BIG plate of Bratwurst. AWESOME.

  • kwhite

    My idea of a perfect Staycation is a cold winter evening, a warm fire, my favorite movies, me, my hubby and my dog snuggled up on the couch eating pizza, Chinese food and lemon cake (I am 8 months pregnant so give me a break!)

  • rachelradio

    My Staycation involves my couch, my dog, a bottle of Arbor Mist and a whole season of trashy reality TV on the TIVO.

  • suttersarah

    My ultimate staycation would include delivery food (we live too far out), a surround sound theatre, roaring fire, my man, my dog and a nice movie selection. Booze is also mandatory.

  • MassMadness

    The perfect staycation:
    A cozy fire, a clean house, Christmas decorations up, no chores to do, Bad Santa and Love Actually on the TV, delightful snacks and bevies and then baby-making… Perfect! :)

  • winky8u

    If I were to win one of these it would complete the triumvirate of the gaming systems. It might actually make the husbands head explode, I can see him now spinning in circles while yelling “I have them all! Wii. PS3. Xbox.” I promise to video this and send it to you.

    A staycation for me is just time off at work and being able to spend some time out in the yard when its nice. So basically no staycations around here until next May :(

  • yay4tay

    Let’s see, there was this one time where I had a night all to myself with the boyfriend, both of our roommates were gone and we were at home in our jammies, trying to decide how to entertain ourselves. He pulled out some game called ‘Viva Pinata’ that belonged to one of the roommates. I thought it looked kind of stupid, but gave it a shot.

    Next thing you know it is 3am, my boyfriend is asleep on my shoulder and I am furiously making my pinata’s do eachother and growing my little pinata world like a crackhead. Our little night together was squandered, but it was a hell of an xbox-related staycation.

  • Terilianne

    The ultimate staycation for our teched out geek family of four; (me, my hubby and two teenage sons) is to sleep in late, get up have a big breakfast and each retreat to our corners of the family room with our electronics of choice. We all have laptops and do play World of Warcraft online. We have gotten together in the center of the family room to have all day Madden NFL tournaments, as well as my husband getting our much more skilled sons to level on something that takes rapid hand eye co-ordination. Having a second x-box would come in handy for being able to play different games at the same time. We would order pizza in, maybe download a movie on netflix on the x-box and talk back to the screen.

  • Bubba Mudd

    My idea of the perfect staycation would be ordering in Chinese and watching movies with my wife and our two dogs, Lilly & Rosie, curled up between us.

  • RaCo

    Ultimate staycation= I stay at home by myself while everyone else gets a hotel. I’m going to need a case of red wine and Thai takeout. I am also going to need one of those pedicure services that comes to your home.

    Oh, and some Nutella.

  • jamie1577

    Ultimate Staycation

    1. Smorgasbord.
    2. My husband.
    3. True Blood.
    4. Kids with G’ma.

  • doreen

    Well, I’d have to experience a couple “staycations” to determine what would be the “ultimate,” but the first thought that pops to mind is spending a long time at the Farmer’s Market picking out produce and food for a lovely Italian dinner, a good bottle of red wine, and because it’s the holiday season, curled up with my husband watching “It’s a Wonderful Life.”

  • mary919

    My ultimate staycation would involve a new XBox!

    First my husband and my daughter would clean the entire house and fill the pantry and the refrigerator. Then they would take the dog and go visit some distant family member for a week and leave me with the new XBox and absolutely no responsibilities and a freezer full of waffle fries.

    But that’s just me. Thank you for this chance to possibly make all my dreams come true. Love you. Mean it.

  • zepper_dog

    a good book, a comfy quilt, a laptop and a beverage.