“Go on Sunday morning. There aren’t any lines.”

My friend Kate sent me an email last week and suggested we make a Shit Non Mormons Say When Living in Utah video. If either of us had the time to do so, it would sound a lot like this (almost all of these are her suggestions):

“Yes, you can buy alcohol here.”

“Yes, you can buy alcohol here.”

“Yes, you can buy alcohol here.”

Non Mormon trying to buy alcohol on Election Day, mumbling : “I moved here to ski.”

Non Mormon trying to buy alcohol on Sunday, mumbling: “I moved here to ski.”

Non Mormon trying to buy alcohol on any obscure holiday, mumbling: “I moved here to ski.”

“I haven’t skied in sooooooo long.”

“You get used to the politics.”

“Just ignore the politics.”

“UGH! WHO VOTES FOR THESE POEPLE?!”

“You can’t ignore the politics.”

“You won’t ever get used to the politics.”

“Orrin Hatch? You mean Oral Snatch?

“Sundance is SO awesome.”

“I hate Sundance.”

“Oh! There’s Robert Redford!”

“REI.”

“REI?”

“REI.”

“Which Subaru Outback is yours?”

“You can always go to Park City if you want to get away.”

“I haven’t been to Park City in sooooooo long.”

“Park City just wants to be LA.”

“What a shit hole.”

“Alta.”

“Snowbird.”

“Alta.”

“Brighton.”

“Alta.”

“Solitude.”

“Alta.”

“Powder Mountain.”

“ALTA.”

“Yes, you can buy alcohol here.”

Feel free to add anything we missed. Also, someone please film this.

  • apostate

    I second the idea for a character limit.

  • NDW1982

    I am grossed out by the entitled, whiny comments on Dooce. If you’re so disappointed in anything Heather is doing right now, why don’t you go away. Kicking someone while they are down is just disgusting. My eight year old kid wouldn’t do that shit.

  • Aprilisin

    blahblahblah
    yawn….