• http://mycheapversionoftherapy.com/ Jos

    LMAO. I cannot wait until my kids start losing their teeth and I can send them directly to this post – do not pass go, do not collect $200 (especially not from the damn tooth fairy).

  • http://www.sarahaugen.org Sara Haugen

    EEEEW Ate it!!

    I’m pretty sure you’re just more funny since you quit blogging.

  • antigone78

    Jesus Christ, I missed your blogs so hard.

  • Desiree Mivelaz Johnson

    Knowing officially that you’re from Louisville explains A WHOLE LOT! I was born and raised in Louisville and am still there! That southern attitude isn’t just a southern attitude, it’s a Louisville thing. #keepLouisvilleWeird

  • KimFunk

    Oh lord. All the pooping progress you have made in your household will now come to a screeching halt. All your fault.

  • lisajey

    I am officially exhausted! I want the app that turned that video into that fucking awesome gif!

  • Heather B. Armstrong

    RIGHT?! My dad knows deep down that so much of me is so much of him. Keepin’ Lou-ah-vuhl weird.

  • sandra brown

    WORD. Real life stuff. Love this hard.

  • Laura B

    This is fantastic, but I prefer Jesus Tittyf***ing Christ for maximum impact on the 11-year-old consciousness

  • http://bravissimi.blogspot.com jess crawford!


  • Miss lee

    Please check Leta’s legs in case one is longer than the other. I want to know if she believed you.


  • Elspeth

    My brother used to let them stay in his mouth so long that they were basically held in by sheer force of will. This is how I explain the fact that he lost one IN HIS SLEEP and swallowed it, still asleep.

  • Courtney

    I had to go and read the new additions to the Facebook post. What joy they brought to my life!

    My daughter swallowed one of her teeth while eating a chicken strip because she “thought it was just one of those hard parts of the chicken”. YUCK.

  • deb

    Your writing tangents since you stopped forcing yourself; it’s like unleashing the genius out of a genius. I can’t stand it!

  • deb

    And that’s GREAT to be clear!

  • acm

    Now I’m imagining the complicated conversation I’d have to have with my kid about how the Tooth Fairy is willing to SWIM THE SEWER SYSTEM to find her tooth! She needs those teeth!

  • http://www.wendolonia.com/blog wcopley

    I told my kid the tooth he swallowed would bite his butt when it came out, so there’s that.

  • http://mamaintranslation.blogspot.com/ L – Mama(e) in Translation

    OH man, that’s a great hilarious post. Anyway, if that makes her feel better tell Leta that I swallowed BOTH of my very first teeth that fell (there wasn’t any “Tooth fairy” in Brazil where I grew up, so I wasn’t upset). I was six years old and was eating corn on the cob. After the meal both my bottom front teeth were gone. Just like that! HA! On a really ridiculous & gross note, I still have some of my molars from when I was 12-13. Eeeew… I don’t know why I kept those things! (I must have thrown them out, maybe).

  • Lindsey Orcutt

    I love you so much, Heather. Hilarious.

  • Nance Bogue

    Welcome back!!!!! Your real writing has been missed!

  • Elizabeth Slaughter-Ek

    hahaha! This is so awesome. Hilarious!

  • Kim Garbison

    *sigh* I love your uncensored wonderful brain.

  • Lauren3

    Your face in that video. YOUR FAAAAAAAAAAAACE <3

  • onewithbooks

    The only thing that made this blog better was I was listening to a Moon Hooch song (#8) when I hit play on your video and damn that was great!

  • Erin Wall Mauro

    I am so glad you are back. I missed posts like this! (My kid is 6 and is just starting to wiggle his teeth and it grosses me out so damn hard)

  • K.t. Moreis

    My youngest child swallowed a tooth on purpose because he wanted “tooth poop” so it would bite the alligator his brother said lived in the sewer.

  • Buster Brown

    What’s in the boooooox?!! Good shit, this post.

  • Buster Brown

    This is awesome.