Next thing you know I’m going to be meditating and posting inspirational quotes on Facebook

After I get this posted I’m going to grab my girls and we’re going to run around the house with our pants on our heads.

New tunes

This week: Kaskade, Yeasayer, Moving Mountains, San Cisco, and Dan Croll.

“I also despise whistlers”

Leta is reading a book in her room after school. Side note: on a recent trip to the library she checked out six books and read all of them within two days. Yes, I’m bragging. Wanna arm wrestle? You’ll probably beat me, but that doesn’t matter. Because my kid is still a better reader than [...]

Noise ordinance

My alarm goes off at 6:45 AM, and with my eyes still closed I reflexively reach over, fumble around the detritus on my nightstand until I find the monitor. I click the button to turn it on only to hear Marlo in the middle of shouting, “MMMOOOOHHMMM!” And then I can hear it through her [...]

What an excellent day for an exorcism

(I am currently out of town on business, so for the next few days I’m going to post some things from my archives that many of you have probably never seen. This following was originally published on December 12, 2005.) Yesterday while pushing Leta through the grocery store in a cart that had a car [...]

Hair, day eighty-two

I know it seems like my hair doesn’t grow. 82 days?! Shouldn’t I be able to throw it out the window and let a local prince climb it like a rope, up two stories into my room? Where I would promptly slap his face for getting fresh with me? You are ROYALTY, for god’s sake. [...]

Smarter than a second grader

I posted earlier that a thunderstorm passed over the valley this morning, and at lunch I was telling Tyrant about Leta’s reaction to the menacing sounds. Some kids will never see snow in their lives, or when they do it will be such an extraordinary experience that they will exhibit the look that Leta had [...]

The topic that keeps on giving

You probably didn’t think I could squeeze yet another story out of my child losing a tooth, and now you’re like, WAIT, you’re going to talk about her losing a tooth AGAIN?! I AM OUT OF HERE. If that’s so, could you take the end of this string that is tied to one of her [...]

Dear Daughter

With everything that has been going on in my life (let’s see, hm… how’s 2012 been for you? Yeah? Cool.) I forgot to mention that I have a book coming out in April. How does something like this slip one’s mind? I’m not sure. You ever use a purse so much that it gets a [...]

Newsletter: Month Ninety-Six

Dear Leta, Tomorrow you turn eight years old. I’m going to give those who have been reading about you since your birth a chance for that to sink in. Hell, I need a chance for that to sink in. And yes, I’m going to use foul language because last year when I tried reading you [...]