the smell of my desperation has become a stench

Desperate measures

Chuck marked my beautiful Jonathan Adler velvet couch a few times at the old house, and since moving here that has become his very favorite way to express any adverse emotion he is experiencing. Haven’t taken him on a walk today? Guess he’ll go pee on the couch. Marlo’s tantrum making him anxious? Peeing on the couch will make him feel better! Bored? MUST LIFT HIS LEG AND PEE ON THE COUCH.

It’s not a medical condition. He’s been to the vet and got a very clean bill of health. He just enjoys walking over to that gorgeous piece of furniture, lifting his leg and urinating at will.

So, if you do a little googling you can find all sorts of advice, and Tyrant suggested we try the Sofa Scram Sonic Dog & Cat Deterrent Repellent Mat. If Chuck steps on this thing it emits a startling 85 decibel beep indicating that he needs to get the hell away. I bought two and surrounded the sides of the couch he loves to mark most. And lo, it’s working.

It’s working so well, in fact, that Leta accidentally stepped on one and it scared the living crap out of her. Trains pets AND kids! Might as well buy, like, 200 of these and line every inch of the floor with them.

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Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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