Channeling Kansas
Last Wednesday night I was in the kitchen preparing dinner when my mom called the home phone, and can I just run my car off of a bridge for a second? The only reason we have a home phone is because we live in some sort of cellular black hole. If you call my cell [...]
Immature college student stuns local parents
One of Leta’s top two teeth has been loose since Nixon resigned, and stop it right there. If you even think about making a joke about wanting two front teeth for Christmas I’m going to walk you to the door with a cardboard box full of your belongings. Someone discovered a Barney Christmas special on [...]
Finding a problem where there is no problem
This morning as I drove Leta to school I looked in the rear view mirror to see a somber mood twisting the line of her mouth. It seemed much more sinister than a simple pout, so at a stop light I turned around, touched her leg and asked her if she was okay. She stuttered. [...]
Because this was too long for twitter
Leta: “Mom, Dad?” Both of us: “Yes, sweetie?” Leta: “Did maps exist when you were my age?” [HOLY SHIT I'M ONLY 36, NOT 90.] Me: “Yes. Yes they did. But some things have changed since then. When I was your age there was a country in Europe called Czechoslovakia. Now that country is two different [...]
Second grade
Last week Leta started second grade. I just had to let that sink in for a second because the memories I have of holding her in the earliest days of her life and thinking OH MY GOD, HOT POTATO! are distinct. So are the memories of her third year of life where she spent most [...]
The timer starts now
Last night at dinner Marlo became very angry when we would not let her eat a pile of shredded cheese off of the table without utensils or her hands. She just wanted to stick her face in it like a dog. Sadly, this behavior didn’t surprise us because we have turned our back for two [...]
Accelerando
Leta has been taking piano lessons for, what, a month and a half? Wait, scratch that. The both of us have been taking lessons because I’m learning just as much as she is. SHHH! Don’t tell her teacher. Or the police because technically I’m stealing. Or my bishop! GAH! Then I couldn’t take the sacrament [...]
I forgive her for spraying sunscreen all over the floor this morning
Tuesday morning Leta could barely wait to give me my birthday present. I think she may have even been so excited about it that the thought of it woke her up early. Fortunately, seven-year-olds can occupy themselves that early in the morning. They can also dress themselves, brush their own teeth, and pour themselves a [...]
Great big things
Yesterday was a big day around here, you guys. Not just one of your average days where you pretend to be working but you’re actually looking at websites like this (thank Kelly for that one) and trying to morph the uncontrollable laughter shooting up from your gut into actual crying, so that when your boss [...]
When goodnight hugs go horribly wrong
Saturday night before Leta headed up to bed I asked her to come give me a hug. I was walking toward her to meet her halfway, and right when I leaned down she jumped up, accidentally headbutting me and busting my lower lip open. Blood immediately started gushing, and according to Leta’s reaction I was [...]
