Collecting Unemployment

I lost my job today. My direct boss and the human resources representative pulled me into one of three relatively tiny conference rooms and informed me that The Company no longer had any use for me. Essentially, they explained, they didn’t like what I had expressed on my website. I got fired because of

I guess I could be bitter. I mean, I defended myself rather studiously, explaining that I had never mentioned the company or any employee by name, and that I had exaggerated several characteristics of the personalities showcased in a few of my posts.

But I really don’t feel like I have the right to be all that bitter. I made my bed; I’ll lie in it, to quote the inimitable Courtney Love. I understood the risk when I wrote certain things about certain figures that key members of my company might discover my website and pooh-pooh my endeavors.

Two weeks ago an anonymous person emailed every vice president of my company to inform them that I had written unsavory things on my personal website. I have yet to determine who sent the email or why this anonymous someone would hide behind a false email address. Conversely, I have devised several ways to torture said anonymous person when his/her identity surfaces.

If you’re going to be a whistle-blower, for God’s sake, don’t be a coward about it. Fess up, you motherfucker.

In the meantime, while I look for other steady employment, I’m sure to fester over several glaring questions produced in the wake of this rather sad course of events:

1. Should I lose my job over what I have written on my personal website, especially if I have made sure not to mention specific places, persons, or events by name?

2. At what point does my personal website, regardless of what I’ve published on the site, affect my professional life? If I am not responsible for the two colliding (meaning, an anonymous person tips off my employer that I run a personal weblog), is it right that my employer should condemn me for expressing personal dissatisfaction? Would it be any different if someone found a notepad on which I had scribbled things about my job and turned it in to my boss?

3. What recourse do I have?

4. Does anyone have Nicole Kidman’s phone number? I’ve suddenly got a lot of free time.