the smell of my desperation has become a stench

$25,000 Pyramid

Poorly constructed parking garages


“Meet The Parents” and “Curb Your Enthusiasm”

Home improvement projects, especially those involving toggle bolts


Hardware stores with narrow aisles


The pharmacy at Sav-on on Wilshire

The last 8 minutes of “Trading Spaces”

Gwyneth Paltrow being asked to give her opinion on anything

Gold lam�

  • Sarah B.

    2002/09/23 at 6:28 am

    I’ll mix my gameshow references and take Things That Make Me Want To Open A Vein for $500, Alex.

  • nice-n-fun

    2002/09/23 at 6:31 am

    inspiration for suicide.

  • Ismat

    2002/09/23 at 6:48 am

    BLAMB deserves 10 points for making fun of me. And yes, it is because I am dumb.

  • Mrs. Kennedy

    2002/09/23 at 7:02 am

    Things that make your dog unexpectedly poop?

  • Sonnet

    2002/09/23 at 7:18 am

    Things That Make You Want To Kill People?

  • jason

    2002/09/23 at 7:37 am

    i prefer plinko. it is far less confusing. you just drop the chip, lean over, and wait…

  • kf

    2002/09/23 at 7:43 am

    What are Things That Make You Want to Blow Up The World and Start Over From Scratch?

  • Graham

    2002/09/23 at 8:09 am

    Things that are doomed to failure.

    (Woo-hoo, dooce!)

  • Keith

    2002/09/23 at 10:11 am

    (to the tune of “My Favorite Things” from The Sound of Music):

    Avril Lavigne at the top of the charts again,
    Reverend Falwell and all of his minions,
    Selfish old women in huge Cadillacs,
    These are some things that I kick in the ass…

    Cell phone yellers,
    Trite bestsellers,
    When I’m feeling mad,
    I simply extend that big finger of mine,
    And then I can feel so fine.

    Which Sav-on on Wilshire? I know of three.

  • Michele

    2002/09/23 at 3:53 pm

    Welcome back! Don’t ever leave us again! *sniffle*

  • teeny

    2002/09/23 at 4:52 pm

    things that you always think are going to be worthwhile but that actually make you sad.

  • Kate

    2002/09/23 at 10:33 pm

    Things that should not exist?

  • Todd

    2002/09/25 at 12:41 pm

    things that annoy to the point of homicide.

  • Aubrey

    2002/09/26 at 9:04 am

    Things that make you go “Hmmm…(I shall shoot myself right this second.)”

  • Pet Rock Star

    2002/09/26 at 4:30 pm

    Things That Seemed Like A Good Idea At The Time.

  • kath

    2002/09/27 at 7:22 pm

    Potential disasters? Future terrorist bomb sites? Boredom made tangible?

  • brent

    2002/10/02 at 4:59 pm

    guilty pleasures

  • Angelique

    2002/10/14 at 12:58 pm

    …. things that make me re-evaluate my dosage of prozac.

  • pk

    2002/09/22 at 4:23 pm

    Ben Affleck being allowed to ‘act’.

  • darthmiles

    2002/09/22 at 5:33 pm

    heather’s back! woohoo

  • Ariel

    2002/09/22 at 5:56 pm

    The man who dances next to a poster of himself outside “Titanic” on the Venice boardwalk.

  • paige

    2002/09/22 at 5:58 pm

    Things that make me grind my teeth.

  • deadking

    2002/09/22 at 6:03 pm

    glad to see you back.

  • erika

    2002/09/22 at 6:23 pm

    glad to see you back as well.

  • Dyanna

    2002/09/22 at 10:38 pm

    Things that are overrated?

  • Colin

    2002/09/23 at 3:08 am

    Just popped on over from Crunchy’s blog. There’s something about blogging that pulls you in like a riptide, n’est pas? Glad to see you’re back.

  • Mike

    2002/09/23 at 4:06 am

    Monday mornings



  • Ismat

    2002/09/23 at 4:58 am

    I am intensely confused. Perhaps because it’s Monday morning, or perhaps just because I’m dumb. But is the list you have the list of clues for ONE category, or just a list of good categories for the pyramid? Or is Dooce just lettin’ us have it both ways? Have I thought about this too much?


  • blamb

    2002/09/23 at 5:14 am

    And is it regular Pyramid or celebrity week with a bunch of daytime soap actors?

  • cicada

    2002/09/23 at 5:41 am

    Things that grate on your nerves.

  • Chris

    2002/09/23 at 6:21 am

    Things that piss you off? Things that are useless? Things that make you want to throw someone off a cliff in a sack?

  • pd

    2002/09/23 at 6:23 am

    Things you wish never happened?

    Welcome back! 🙂

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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