the smell of my desperation has become a stench

You Should Probably Not Post Any Comments to this Site if You are Any of the Following:

The sociopathic co-worker I dated at the end of 1999.

Someone who insists on using the word “dawg” in reference to anyone in his “posse.”

Someone who complains about the comments but insists on reading them anyway.

My Granny.

My hair-stylist. My god, the ammunition you have.

Anyone who has cute, coifed eyebrows that came that way. Bitch!

Anyone who complains about the way the comments work or are displayed. No where on this site does it say I care.

A member of the BYU alumni association.

Mary-Kate or Ashley Olsen

Anyone who says “volumptuous.”

The person who can’t remember the name of my dog, and so refers to him as “Chick.”

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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