the smell of my desperation has become a stench

I Don’t Know if You Knew This or Not, But…

  • Dave Thomas

    2002/12/02 at 8:50 pm

    We’ll send two representatives right over.

  • Spaceball

    2002/12/02 at 9:14 pm

    There goes the neighborhood.

  • Naz

    2002/12/02 at 9:30 pm


  • kane

    2002/12/02 at 9:41 pm

    Oh the humanity! Glad you all arrived in one piece.

  • Katie

    2002/12/02 at 10:17 pm

    I feel for you, I really do.

  • pretty_paranoia

    2002/12/02 at 10:26 pm

    that sounds nasty.

  • garrett

    2002/12/02 at 11:48 pm

    (Welcome back, all that.) I think you’ll find the experience… interesting. Like any place, it should give you plenty to write about.
    Do give my fondest regards to the bishopric if they stop by to welcome you into the ward.

  • stupid bint

    2002/12/02 at 11:59 pm

    You say that like it’s a bad thing.

  • deadking

    2002/12/03 at 12:24 am

    ha you think you got it bad?
    ha i live in west virginia

  • propagandist

    2002/12/03 at 12:26 am

    utaht it was somewhere else?

  • Ex-liontamer

    2002/12/03 at 2:14 am

    …and it’s all MY fault.

  • Marshall

    2002/12/03 at 3:02 am

    Utah can’t be all that bad — I know at least two cool people that live there. Besides, the Escalante Canyon is there.


    2002/12/03 at 3:04 am

    I don’t know if you knew this or not, but I just got done masturbating to gay porn. I think I’ll sleep for a few hours, eat some leftover Domino’s pizza from last night, and repeat the process over and over again until I die.

  • peggy

    2002/12/03 at 3:39 am

    BYU. Bring Your (sacred heavenly) Underwear.

  • karmaboy

    2002/12/03 at 3:52 am

    I’m interested in your organization and would like to subscribe to your newsletter.

  • Jen

    2002/12/03 at 4:14 am

    I for one am looking forward to hearing about all the mormons and getting a peak and the scenery.

  • Funtime Ben

    2002/12/03 at 4:23 am

    I think this officially means you’re safe from terrorists.

  • ME

    2002/12/03 at 4:48 am

    i hope living in Utah doesn’t change your outlook on life . it seems you’ve toned down or hold back enough as it is since the “relaunch.”

  • Bryan

    2002/12/03 at 4:53 am

    I’m in the same boat, I live in Alabama, which is like Utah with Southern Baptists instead of Mormons.

  • dclay

    2002/12/03 at 5:04 am

    I warned you about those ruby slippers of yours…

  • Kerry

    2002/12/03 at 5:22 am

    Man. Utah is going to LOVE you.

  • steve

    2002/12/03 at 5:27 am


  • Devin

    2002/12/03 at 5:44 am

    Sucka! You fell for it. The mormon secret police will be at your door sooner than later. Remeber when you are looking for an apartment that “ND” stands for no drinking.

  • ismat

    2002/12/03 at 5:45 am

    Yeah, but how long are you going to stay?

  • dennis

    2002/12/03 at 5:48 am

    Current temperature here: -3F, windchill -20F. My sacred underwear comes in the form of longjohns… 😎

  • HurgleGurgle

    2002/12/03 at 6:15 am

    Please be my third wife.

    There is a nice natural foods store in Sugarhouse.

    “Bryan thinks:
    I’m in the same boat, I live in Alabama, which is like Utah with Southern Baptists instead of Mormons.”

    Oh, the South is much, much worse.

  • Michael

    2002/12/03 at 6:21 am

    Dooce in Deseret:
    Boozin in the Beehive State – In a world where you can’t buy liquor on Sunday. Dooce (Britney Spears) and DJ Blurb (Alan Cumming) leave LA and find themselve in Utah.

  • ~Angel

    2002/12/03 at 6:24 am

    Be sure to let us know when you’ve been assimilated.

  • erin

    2002/12/03 at 6:35 am

    oh my god, I live in utah.

  • the very grumpy husband

    2002/12/03 at 6:44 am

    Alan Cumming? I think I deserve at least Jake Gyllenhaal or Benecio Del Toro.

  • Keith

    2002/12/03 at 6:49 am

    It could be worse. It’s not Point Barrow, Alaska, where the sun has already set for the year and won’t come out again until March.

  • jason

    2002/12/03 at 6:58 am

    los angeles: out. utah: in.
    go get a 4.0 in damage.

  • renaat

    2002/12/03 at 7:15 am

    what’s wrong with Alan Cumming? I adore Alan Cumming.

  • suck it up, hubby

    2002/12/03 at 7:17 am

    You get what you get and fucking like it, cha-cha.

  • Naaman

    2002/12/03 at 7:19 am

    You obviously forgot to check out the bottom system before you moved because you ended up in the wrong place!

  • Poo head

    2002/12/03 at 7:21 am

    Mormons. Whoa.

  • Morgan

    2002/12/03 at 7:32 am

    I’ll be out there Thursday… luckilly I also get to LEAVE Thursday.

  • couloir

    2002/12/03 at 7:40 am

    on the one hand ur in utah… on the other zion is the most beautiful place ive ever been….

  • Anne Freedman

    2002/12/03 at 7:48 am

    Heather, since I can’t find an e-mail address for you, thought I’d try to reach you this way. I’m writing a story about the HR implications of web logs for my magazine, Human Resource Executive, and wanted to talk to you about your experiences. Can you drop me a line and let me know how I can get in touch with you?

  • Edsmonkey

    2002/12/03 at 7:50 am

    Let us know where to send the liquor when you run out…


    2002/12/03 at 7:53 am

    Gah….Utah fer chrissakes…..Gah

  • David

    2002/12/03 at 7:55 am

    Utah? what the heck is that? 😉

  • SnarkyPup

    2002/12/03 at 8:17 am

    Two words: porn czar.

  • Kevin

    2002/12/03 at 8:26 am

    As a former BYU Inmate, I feel your pain. Hopefully, you’re in Salt Lake, where the percentage of Los Mormones drops considerably. Keep the (lack of) Faith and don’t forget to swear loudly in public – that should keep them at bay.

  • Colin

    2002/12/03 at 8:26 am

    Isn’t Utah the Bring ’em Young state?

  • .

    2002/12/03 at 8:40 am

    I didn’t know this was an anti-mormon website heads up to all the prejudice out there.

  • meggo

    2002/12/03 at 8:41 am

    the second wife will arrive shortly.

  • Bucci

    2002/12/03 at 8:44 am

    I’m really impressed with how quickly this all shook down. I think a move like that, start to finish, would take me a few years.

  • Liam Gallagher

    2002/12/03 at 8:53 am

    Fix my teef

  • splinter

    2002/12/03 at 8:56 am

    Utah? Whats wrong with Utah? I hear great things about Europe.

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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