the smell of my desperation has become a stench

Know What I Feel?

I challenge anyone to listen to this song (mp3 link now unavailable) (“No Culture Icons” by The Thermals) only once and be able to go throughout your once bearable life without singing it in your head EVERY SINGLE SECOND OF THE DAY.

After I’d heard the song for the first time I couldn’t help but answer people who’d ask me, “Are you hungry?” with “HARDLY STARVING!!” over and over again. It was funny for the first three seconds and then I wanted to smash my head in with an axe just to dull the banging pain of a catchy song gone horribly wrong.

Now that I’ve heard it three hundred times I lie awake at night beating out the rhythm uncontrollably with my toes. I try to think of sheep but all the sheep in my head are dressed like little emo kids wearing bowling shoes, and each and every one of them are mouthing the words with their little fuzzy sheep mouths like freaky animatronic emo monsters.

What songs are you having trouble getting out of your throbbing, unsuspecting and tender little noggin?

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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